I Love Simplicity

Inked

2012-02-03T17:06:00.000+08:00

This was the original design that I absolutely loved when I first saw as I was looking around for tattoo ideas. It's a Celtic butterfly, and as I read about its symbolism (transformation, rebirth, or transition) I find that it represents me a lot...or at least, that's what I feel. Change is always good, and it'll be a reminder that I need to learn to change with the times too =) Plus, it's so pretty and yet has a bit of a tribal feel to it which I love.

So, with this design in hand, I set out asking friends for recommendations of tattoo artists. I went to a couple of them to ask for quotes with this design, and was quoted quite a high price. =/ I mean, I knew getting a tattoo wouldn't come cheap but I wasn't expecting a price this high for a small tattoo (I was aiming for about a size of 2 inches or so). Someone told me the size that I wanted was too small for this intricate design and it wouldn't look nice...minimum should be 4 inches! I printed the picture out in that size and it will cover the whole left shoulder...OMG. No thank you!

Enter Borneo Ink....heard about them quite a bit from friends as well as from Ramin Karimloo (I was stalking his FB page!) who gave great recommendations about their work. Surely a company that's famous would be even more expensive no? But I figured I would just go and inquire, since their place is rather near my office. So, I headed there and was surprised that I got quoted quite a cheap price. AND they could do it in the size that I wanted...YAYY! I made an appointment for 2nd February and promptly waited for the day to get my tattoo...

2nd February couldn't come fast enough and I find myself waiting nervously at Borneo Ink's reception area since I arrived early for my appointment. When I walked in, I saw quite a few guys hanging around...these guys look quite intimidating with the number of tattoos on their bodies. But they were quite nice, smiling and saying Hi when they saw me. One guy even asked me if it's my first time getting a tattoo...when I told him yes, he said, "Yeah, you look very tense. Relax!" Then he asked me what am I getting for my first tattoo. After he heard what I wanted, said guy said, "Ok lah...not bad for a first!" LOL!

As time ticked, a petite yet quite heavily tattooed girl came out and said, "Hello! Are you my next appointment? Are you my butterfly?" LOL! Lina is her name and she was quite nice as I showed her the design I wanted to do. She told me she will re-draw the design, which I'm okay with since I got this design off the Net...there'd probably be many people having the same tattoo, so if I could get something different, why not? Lina then went off to sketch out the design and showed me her sketch about half an hour later...I was floored coz she maintained the essence of the butterfly, but managed to make it look different. I was told also that it would look nicer to have the size slightly bigger since it'll be at the back of my left shoulder, so okay...I was then ushered into the tattoo room.

A little shaving of the area of the tattoo, some alcohol swabbing, applying the stencil of the tattoo on the area, checking to see position is nice, and making myself comfortable on the tattoo 'seat', Lina then proceeded with the tattooing. She is one. cool. chick *grins* With a sharp wit and even sharper tongue, she chatters on about Valentine's Day, marriage, cheating partners, life...like we've been friends for a long time. Quite often, she makes me laugh and not notice the pain that much. And before I knew it, she was done! It took about an hour or so...which was quite short! After letting me have a quick check in the mirror (and me admiring it), she promptly put some ointment and 'bandaged' the tattoo with some cling wrap (??!!) and duct tape. Some more ointment was given to me along with some instructions on how to care for my tattoo, and I was all set to go home.

What about the pain? I have to say, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I had anticipated pain in the level of injections by the doctor, magnified many times over....but it turned out to be like someone using a sewing needle and kind of 'scratching' your skin. I won't say that it didn't hurt at all, but the pain is rather tolerable. Bear in mind though that my level of tolerance for pain is quite low. So, if I could make it, I'm pretty sure most people would say it's not painful. Unless you have an even lower tolerance for pain. LOL! Some parts may be a bit more painful than others...more noticeably for me when Lina applied the colors with some bigger needles, but it was over as quickly as it happened.

The drive home felt a little sore...it kinda burned, but again tolerable. The funny thing happened AFTER I got home! Mom (who knew about me getting a tattoo the day before) wanted to know if I cried when I got it...then proceeded to cringe and nag when she saw my tattoo. The sisters also cringed, even though one has already gone through child birth -___-" Why? They saw this:

Yes, notice the 'blood' in the bandage? LOL! It's actually plasma....easily washed off but I was told to keep the bandage on for 2 hours before cleaning it, so I waited amidst all the cringing and what not.

And this was AFTER I cleaned it up and applied ointment...SOOOO much better! *grins*

Close up! I love the combination of the purple and blue! Lina initially told me she could do purple and pink, but I said I'm not so fond of pink, so blue it is =) Apparently, the mixture of purple and blue results in periwinkle blue. Hehe! Loved the gradual shading on it as well, so am really happy with how it turned out. Will update more when it's fully healed...happy!

Physiques And The Like...

2012-01-20T14:51:00.000+08:00

A recent conversation with my personal trainer:

Trainer: You have the body, the build for this (fitness)

Me: Huh? Nah, I have a long way to go!

Trainer: No, I mean you have the physique...an athlete's body.

Me: *panting and huffing* Haha, thanks! But I don't have the stamina yet...=P

Trainer: That's why I'm helping you get it! Now go go go!

It was quite hilarious, thinking about it...how ironic that I should have an athlete's build, but am nowhere close to having the actual fitness level of one! But hopefully, I'll reach there some day =) Looking back, I am feeling more happy with how I am looking now. I mean, I can't really change much about my face (except concealing the scars with make up) but my body is SLOWLY getting there. =) I don't think I'll ever be a size S like my sisters but I'll be happy with a size M with my body frame *grins* At the moment, I'm still a size L (or XL, depending on the cutting, but L most of the time. YAYY!) but on occasion, I'll be able to find dresses or tops with a size M that I could fit into...so, that's a big motivation =) Let's see how this year will fare for me. *crosses fingers*

In other 'news', I want to post up some photos again...heh! Haven't gotten to many projects yet, but the coming holidays might help boost my motivation to go do some more baking since I have the time!

This was the fruit tart that I made for last year's NYE party....pretty happy with how it turned out! Didn't really know how to arrange the peach slices at first (they were going all crooked and stuff) till my sister suggested a fan-like arrangement, and this was the result =) The fruits in the middle were seedless grapes. If the grapes were an even darker color, I think it would be a better contrast, but as it is, it worked out good I guess.

Green pea cookies for Chinese New Year (CNY). I didn't make these from scratch....they were a pre-mix that I just added some oil to, shaped and baked them. I guess the 'dough' was a little too dry....the cookies turned out with cracks in them! But no biggie...all was forgiven when one takes a bite. It just melts in your mouth with a burst of yummy flavor =) Quite an addictive cookie for me...heh!

Speaking of CNY....here's a tradition that I've always enjoyed. Yee sang! This was the first yee sang that I've had for CNY. It's basically a mixture of shredded vegetables, fruits, crispy condiments and on occasion, some salmon or delish 'exotic' meats like sea asparagus, abalone, etc. Everybody gets their chopsticks ready and start mixing everything together! As the mixing goes, it is said that the 'higher' we bring the ingredients together, the better our year will be...so you can imagine the 'chaos' with more than 10 pairs of chopsticks mixing! LOL! It was loads of fun though, and the 'aftermath' is always tasty *wink*

Another first for me....a red packet for CNY in the form of an Australian lottery ticket courtesy of my boss! It's kinda like a 'jack pot' thing where we have to scratch the panels and see if we get 3 same images in a section. You could see I didn't win...LOL! But it was super fun nonetheless...my manager won AUD5 and another colleague won AUD8! For those who won, they would pass the winning tickets to our boss where he'll collect the prizes on our behalf and bring them back. Hehe!

It occurred to me that I've become less and less excited about celebrating CNY every year...I don't know whether it's the lack of a 'festive mood' compared to previous years, or I am just getting old (LOL!) but it is beginning to feel more and more like a normal thing for me...*shrugs* Still, some days there will be some surprises that make me feel like, hey it's not too bad after all. Case in point, the last two photos...I really enjoyed myself with my colleagues during the lunch and even doing something silly like this lottery scratch-and-win card is quite fun =) Who knows what surprises are in store in the coming weeks, no? *grins* Happy CNY to you reading this if you're celebrating it...may the year of the Dragon bring you much prosperity, peace and joy!

January, oh January...

2012-01-13T14:43:00.000+08:00

I've actually just watched this video not too long ago, and it inspired me to blog *grins* See the video here:

Have you broken your resolutions? Or are they still going strong? Looking back at my goals this year, I guess it would still be a little early to say whether I've broken it or not considering they're not as generic as I thought it would be =P I DO however, have a few updates:

I've actually been weighing myself a bit more frequently these days and if my weighing scale is correct, I've dropped another kg so far. Yayy! Hopefully this will stay off and I continue on to reach my target weight =)
I've also gone back for capoeira classes...oh, how I've missed them! Even though it's only been a few months since I've stopped capoeira, it feels a little awkward for me as I've almost forgotten the sequences and what not. A batizado is coming up for our school in May (a kind of 'baptism' for us beginners where we officially get our colored belts for our level!), so hopefully I will be prepared enough by then to deserve that corda =)
I have booked myself another ticket to go watch "Wicked" again in Singapore. Yes, crazy I know....but the show REALLY is that good! This time, I'm going with a fellow friend who has not experienced international shows before...so hopefully this will be a good experience for her! And, I guess since it's in Singapore, it's considered somewhat a holiday as well? LOL! I don't know...I'll see how it goes *grins*
My tattoo plans are becoming more and more concrete! Crossing fingers that all goes well and according to plan...=) I've actually booked an appointment with the tattoo artist! Will update more as the time nears...and definitely a post about it when it's done *wink*
I'm missing my baking sessions too...sad to say that I've not touched any projects since the New Year's eve party that I went to last year (I baked another fresh fruit tart). But, I have been invited to a baby shower in a couple of weeks....hopefully I'll be able to make time to bake some sugar cookies. Been wanting to try out some things *grins*

So yup, that's about it I guess....the other goals are still kinda, pending. LOL! Been also feeling a bit crappy these days...guess the moodiness of the old year hasn't rubbed off yet. But still doing my hardest to NOT think about stupid things and focusing on getting myself better. Here's to more good things in 2012 (even though it's the so-called 'Armageddon' year)!

P/S: I noticed that my blog hits have been rising a little bit...all thanks to the Angry Birds cake and cookies that I've tried. Who knew that the Angry Birds craze will spread that far till it'll reach my little old blog here? Here's to more nicer-looking projects in the new year too =)

Recap & A Fresh Start

2012-01-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

My first post for 2012! LOL! Happy New Year by the way...hope you all had a nice celebration for New Year's =) Mine was a somewhat quiet one...I spent it with a few friends over a BBQ and we witnessed some very cool fireworks display right outside the house, courtesy of a generous resident in that neighborhood. My very first experience in 2012 was to see a fireworks display up close and personal...seems like it's a good start! *crosses fingers*

Anyways, I'd also like to do a little recap on the year that was. Who knows, it could be a sort of 'benchmark' where I can measure how much had I accomplished (or not) during the year. It would be nice to see it all documented, I guess =)

2011 is the year I left my Bioinformatics job and pursued something entirely different job in IT...OK, technically it's end of 2010, but I was still learning a lot in 2011 so it counted for me I guess =) With a significant enough jump in salary and the fact that I am STILL learning quite a bit in this job, I am quite happy with where I am work-wise at the moment *grins*
It is also the time where I got really serious with losing weight....up to the point where I was attending Capoeira & dance classes every single weekday till almost 11pm. Drove my parents (and almost myself) crazy. Then 'things' happened and I took a break, joined a gym with some personal training, and I THINK I'm slightly back on track. As in, I don't need to go to class everyday, but I'm still working out enough to at least maintain where I am. To date, I have lost 10kg from end of 2010...but I gained back another 2kg due to some muscle mass build up from the weight training with my personal trainer.
2011 is the year I found...and subsequently lost 'love'. Don't really like to talk about this much coz it still stings (albeit I try to tell myself to let it go....still working on this), but at the same time I guess I am grateful for the experience. Even though it's only a few short weeks, I could sort of at least say I've gone through one cycle of a relationship?
2011 is also the year that I went to Bali for the first time! In fact, it was the first ever holiday that I've ever been to since I've started working....though at the time, it was a 'spur of the moment' thing but I'm really glad I took the leap of faith and bought the tickets because I had a great time in Bali when I really needed the break. The scenery, the culture, the people...everything just makes it so memorable for me and I'm raring to go back someday!
'Tis also the year that I've been baking (and sometimes cooking) in earnest. My baking projects have somewhat mostly yielded good results, and I'm quite proud that I've managed to accomplish at least this. I find baking to be very therapeutic for me, and the smiles on my friends and family's faces when they dig into the cakes / cookies / pastries gives me more encouragement to try out more recipes and 'experiments'. *grins* Heck, I've even had a few 'sales' with them. I don't think I'll plan to do this as a job, but to say it has been a fun ride with baking (either by myself or with some of my friends!) is an understatement =)
And I guess the most fun for me was being able to attend quite a few shows in 2011. Most of them were in the final quarter of the year, but it was still so very fun for me. From local productions ("The Secret Life of Nora", "In Perfect Harmony", "The Drive", "Short & Sweet" festival) to my very first international production experience ("Wicked" by the Australian touring cast in Singapore!), I had a blast at every single one of them =)

Well, that's about it I guess...most of the biggest 'events' for me in 2011. Not a lot, but it felt like it was quite a bit for me =) Definitely a lot of ups and downs, but I think I can safely say it had more 'ups' for me...and am very thankful for the things that had happened.

And, since it IS 2012 now I guess it is time to wipe the slate clean and start anew =) So, here's to an even better year for all of us! As for resolutions, I would say these are my goals =) Some of them are for this year, some are more towards what I can do every year. Crossing fingers hard that I will be able to accomplish them!

Drop more weight to my ideal weight, which is about 5-10kg more. I figured this could be possible as I took about a year to lose my previous 10kg...so, hoping it's all good and I can reach this target (AND hopefully, maybe....if I'm brave enough, to fit into a bikini? LOL!)
Go on a holiday at least once in a year. Doesn't have to be an international one, but it should be somewhere different to get away from the hectic life and work....beach, mountains, island. Gosh, I'm raring to go *grins* Now, to save up for it!
Attend at least three different productions in a year =) Again, it doesn't have to be international, but it'll be great if there are more productions like "Wicked" to be shown locally!
Spend at least two days a week with Scottie, be it taking him out for walks or outings. He may not be as handsome as he used to be, but he has been there whenever I need him...and I find I have neglected him loads while I was out there 'searching for myself'. He's the only boy I have in my life right now (aside from my Dad), so I should do more for him =)
Get a tattoo! Haha, yes you've read right. I know, it sounded really crazy but it's not so much of a taboo for me...more like, I want to find something that's significant enough for me to want it on my body for a LONG time. And I do believe I've found it...if I ever get enough courage to get it done, I will post it here =)
Be a tougher, more assertive person. The past year had been a lot of crazy 'downs' because I couldn't bring myself to say "NO" when I need to....up to the point where people think I'm too gullible or soft-hearted. So, this year is the year that I need to tough it out, close my eyes and just say "NO" when I have to, or speak my mind.
Be a little more social...yes, kind of a weird thing, but I do find that I'm a loner. And it doesn't help that I'm so awkward when it comes to social things...so since this is the new year, I need to (again) toughen up and go out and 'mingle' so to speak. =)

Wow, I realized those are a LOT of goals....LOL! Hoping it'll come to fruition when the year ends =) I'll work on these...heh! Happy New Year again!

The Close of Another Year

2011-12-30T15:28:00.000+08:00

I realize that I might not have time to post this tomorrow, so I guess I shall post this before the year ends and I'll be a year late posting this. LOL!

These baking projects were just some that I did...there were quite a few others that I did with Justina and some other friends, but I mostly helped out so it doesn't seem right to post photos of those projects here. Anyways, here's to a better year next year =) Hopefully I'll be able to find some time to post about my resolutions and what not..

Lemon pepper cornmeal cookies (left) and chocolate chip spotties. The lemon pepper combination was quirky, but surprisingly good! I don't know...some people may not like it, but I did =) Together with the cornmeal, the cookie has a bit of bite. Yum! The chocolate chip spotties were made for my cousin in Singapore...these were a favourite of mine during CNY when my aunt would make tins of them. I would devour them like crazy! Now I have the recipe, I tried it out and the taste is still amazing *grins* Not the prettiest kind of cookies, but all is forgiven when one bites into them!

Pumpkin pie after Thanksgiving...LOL! I had a craving to want to try out pumpkin pie recipes after seeing so many friends in the US post about Thanksgiving dinners and what not. As it turns out, pumpkin pie filling or even just sugar pumpkins are not found here in Malaysia =( So, I googled and found that butternut squash / pumpkin can be used! This was made with butternut pumpkin, and I'm glad it turned out well....so creamy and the spices incorporated into the filling are quite heart-warming. So perfect if served with a cup of hot chocolate =)

Fruit cake! I made this about 2-3 weeks before Christmas as the recipe called for some rum / brandy to be soaked into the cake and needed to be kept for the flavors to meld. This recipe was my Mom's...I still remember how yummy it was when she made it! And it did not disappoint even now. I soaked the raisins in some rum & orange juice too the day before I made this, and I ended up using the rest of small-ish bottle of rum to soak the cake. Result? Boozy, citrus-y and jam-packed fruit cake, especially after cooled in the fridge. Mmmmm....I still have ingredients leftover. Might just make it again once these get finished. *grins*

This was quite a last minute cake that I made for my colleague's birthday....this was made just one day before her birthday celebration itself, but thank goodness the recipe was fairly easy and pain-free =) It's a chocolate brownie with some caramel in between, frosted with some buttercream and topped with a chocolate ganache. Initially I had just wanted the ganache to just drip to the sides like a decor, but I didn't know that I needed to chill it a little so that it's a thicker consistency to pour...I ended up having to cover the whole cake with ganache. Not a pretty result =( But I DID love the flowers on top! These were super simple to make, following a tutorial from Bakingdom on how to do it...they end up being the 'saving grace' of the cake =)

These were the latest caveat of mine...adorable miniature cakes for my manager on her birthday. Cake was chocolate sheet cake cut into rounds and frosted with some chocolate ganache, then covered in fondant. I was super gung ho, thinking that I could finish it in a couple of days...but just in case, I asked Justina if she would be free to help me out with the decor coz she told me she wanted to try and play with fondant as well. It was a God send that she came to help, because I don't think I would have been able to accomplish this all by myself!

The initial plan was to do 15 cakes like this, but the 4 in the middle would be 'hot chocolate cupcakes' a la Diary of a Ladybird, but my mismanagement of time, humid weather on top of rain, bad decision to put the ganache-covered cakes into the fridge and poor handling of the fondant caused the cakes to sort of disintegrate from the inside out. As you can see here, some of the cakes on the right already started showing signs of melting compared to the rest. *Sigh* This was taken right after everything was done so that I have proof of what I envisioned to be....and it would be super cute if the cakes remained like this till it was cut the next day.

I LOVE this little bow ribbon. Got the inspiration from my sis' Delectable birthday cupcakes from her friends. I wanted to also follow the stitching pattern around the 'ribbons' but alas, the tacky stitch embosser tool I got was a knockoff and couldn't do the pattern at all! So we could only do this....

Others were little rose buds with leaves....They're the cutest thing I've ever tried so far!

The final result....this was done barely 2 hours before I rushed off to work. I had lost 5 cakes to the melting, so took them off and made some quick fondant letters to personalize the cakes a little and to cover the huge spaces. Even then, some of the remaining cakes were already showing signs of melting yet again =( Luckily, Susan didn't mind that much...she told me it looked cute, so that's ok I guess. I shall attempt to do much better next time...found some techniques to cover fondant that seemed to work for the last few cakes (they held up well compared to the others!) so was thinking of trying it soon =) Hopefully there'll be more chances to play with fondant soon!

That's about it for this year I guess...lots of ups and downs. I love roller coasters, but having a roller coaster life is not all that fun. Still, c'est la vie, no? Happy New Year to you who is reading this (if there is anybody out there reading this!), and may the new year bring you blessings, joy and happiness!

Pining

2011-12-30T11:16:00.003+08:00

To pine (verb) - to yearn deeply; suffer with longing; long painfully

I think I finally understood what was it that made my head & heart ache so much. This initially was meant for my eyes only, but I realized Blogger has no function to make single posts private. Still, I figured...I don't have that many readers anyways, and if that someone reads this...well, things have already been awkward already, and I don't think it'll change anything since it was over and he's moved on. So what the heck.

Yes, it was a boy...a boy that I didn't realize that I had feelings for for so long. It kinda felt like ages and eons ago that the relationship ended, but looking back, it's only been a few months. And I'm still nursing this hurt for some reason. A friend wondered if girls like us, who hardly ever gets the guy, hang on that much harder compared to those who have it good and very often...I find this ever so true. To make it 'worse', this was my first relationship and yes, it cut way deeper than I thought.

I remembered that he asked me once if I had said 'yes' to dating him because he was the first one to ask me, or if it's because I do like him. I failed in telling him because a) I was not used to being asked things like this; and b) I am not the girl that wears her heart on her sleeve. Opening up always have a negative effect for me, so I always chose not to reveal too much. To be really honest, I initially wanted to say 'no'. Not because I don't like him, but I really enjoyed being friends with him. Saying 'yes' would mean ruining that friendship, but I figured if he could take that chance and ask, why couldn't I say yes? He has been nothing but nice to me, can talk the ears off anybody (which I like even though I'm quiet as heck), can be sarcastic (which I like because very few people gets sarcasm these days) and an overall good guy. True, he's not perfect but who am I to complain? I'm leagues away from being anywhere close to perfect.

Thinking back, I had wanted to ask something along the same lines too but I was too chicken to ask: Was the reason that he asked me out because he really liked me for who I am, or was it because I had taken the effort to make myself 'pretty'. Not that I'm near pretty or whatever but we had known each other for a few years already and when I first met him, I was overweight, had acne all over my face and I just can't be bothered with how I looked because let's face it...who would want to look at me? It was only the past year that I realized I needed a change for myself and I started working out, watched my diet, trying on make up to hide the hideous acne and finding that hey, I don't look THAT bad anymore. His previous girlfriends have always been quite pretty so it came as a big surprise that he would ask. I don't think I'll ever know the answer to this...but in a way, I guess it's ok too. I might not like what I would hear, so what you don't know sometimes is better.

When he chose to end the relationship, it got me thinking about whether it was me. I know everybody will always say the infamous line, "it's not what you did or about you..." but I can't shake off the feeling that it is. I had been speculating so much about it last time: could it be me being too 'clingy' by pestering him to talk about what's bothering him; was it because I said 'yes' to being his girlfriend too soon, making me someone who is too 'easy' to get...loads and loads. Again, I don't think I'll ever know, so it's quite pointless to keep speculating and giving myself more heartache when the other person didn't even give you much thought.

I had initially thought (and somehow believed) that OK, it's over but we could still be friends....seeing that it had never really gotten THAT deep and it's only been a few weeks that we had been together. It is only now that I realized I have been so naive and kinda pathetic that it could be the way it used to be before all this. He was a good friend...probably the closest guy friend I've ever had. I guess this was what made it even harder...losing a good friendship that has been built over a few years just because there were some 'complications'. And it is true that, even though we try to remain friends...things are never really the same. I don't really feel as comfortable being just a friend with him compared to last time...and yet, I pressed on thinking I can get over this.

Sis told me it's quite useless to stay friends, saying that it'll give me false hopes that he will be back...I told her I never expected for him to come back, and at that time I believed it to be true. Now, it's like I'm lying to myself....who am I kidding? If I am so over this, why am I still feeling shitty every now and then for no reason? Why do I feel like I'm always so hopeless and thinking about whether it was me who made the relationship fail? It always hit me hardest whenever I go out and see couples holding hands and chatting away happily....*sigh* You know, it's like...if you've never experienced it before, it doesn't affect you that much because you've never known what it feels like. But when you HAVE, and it's lost...that feeling just sucks balls.

I know he'll probably never read this...but yes, I find I still do have feelings for him. Not that it'll make any difference since I've found out that he's moved on. I wish him all the best...it's really the only thing I could do. And I'll let this hurt wash over...till it gets numb. Listening to the "Wicked" soundtrack so many times now, that I identify so much with Elphaba...the girl who is so different and misunderstood, who loves a boy who she feels won't ever love her back. "He could be that boy; but I'm not that girl," she sings...and that rings true. For Elphaba, it worked out in the end but I don't expect the same will ever happen. So, this is just for the comfort of myself to be able to let it out, and (hopefully) let it go. There was this 'assignment' thing from Oprah's new show...to let go of things that hurt us, or if we couldn't just yet, at least make the decision to let go. So this is my decision...to let go of the hurt and move on. I don't know when it will finally happen, but I've learnt that the mind responds to repetition. So, hopefully by the time I've told myself enough times that I need to let go, this wonky brain of mine will finally let it go and just let the memories be memories without all the pain attached to it.

Kinda ironic that the last few days of the year got me so sad when I see so many people having high hopes and dreams for the coming year. Well, since this is my post to decide to let go, I shall make the decision to let this year be put behind and wipe the slate clean. =) I've had my '5 minutes' of wallowing in this blog post as Morrie puts it, so I'll be posting more happy things in my next post. Been making myself so busy that it's crazy...in a way, it helps with the pain by not thinking about it. Baking helps me too...and I'm so grateful for the projects that came my way when I needed the time off from the emo-crazy shit that I was going through. Next post will be about my projects...they keep getting bigger *wink* Stay tuned!

In The Mood....

2011-12-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

...for nothing really. I've no idea what came into me. It was all "I'm good, I can do this" with quite a few projects at work and hobbies to occupy me and my fickle mind. All of a sudden, BAM! A wash of just 'weird-ness' (the best I could describe it) overcame me and now I'm in the worst mood ever. Darn.

I've been meaning to post some more baking stuff that I did, some future ones that I'd planned, and even my trip to Singapore. Before this, my excuse was that I was too busy to sit down and organize my photos and thoughts. But now, I guess the posts will have to wait till this 'thing' goes over. Could it be the holiday mood? If it is, it kinda sucks....WTF. Festive seasons are supposed to bring cheer, happiness and joy! Dang this brain of mine.

The really weird thing about this feeling is that I'm neither sad, angry, nor anxious. It's just really really uncomfortable and I can't shake it off. Even with my tried and true method, it seems to be failing. *sigh* I'm hoping this will wear off soon coz it's giving me kind of a heart / headache. Now I'm wondering if it's something that someone said to me or someone did to me....=\

I used to be good at pinpointing these feelings...when I do, I let it just wash over me - pain and all - and it just subsides after a while. That could be days or weeks....but this kinda scares me a little! Sometimes I wish I could shut this off for a while so I could have peace but who am I kidding right?

Okay, babbling time's over...think I need to sleep this out. Fingers crossed and hoping that things will turn out better tomorrow...I need myself back!

Angry Birds Are A-Chirping

2011-11-22T16:33:00.001+08:00

YES! My biggest project so far completed! I'm quite proud of myself that I managed to get this done, so please allow me this post for some gloating (even though the result is kinda nowhere near the perfection of other food bloggers!)

The collage that I made using the PicStitch app...heh! Yup, it's an Angry Birds fest =P Let's see some close ups. LOL!

View from the top. This was a birthday cake requested by my manager for her son's first birthday. Initially, she wanted a playable Angry Birds cake (wouldn't that be a super fun project??!!), but she was worried that the cake would be umm...'too destroyed' by the time the kids were done with it, so she decided on a normal cake with the characters on it.

Excuse the horrible background. Table was messy. LOL! The initial plan was to have a cake similar to THIS design. But I forgot to print out the photo as I was decorating the cake (laptop was in the office) and I figured, oh what the heck, I'll just wing it. Ended up like this. LOL!

Okay, this was SLIGHTLY better. LOL! Anyhoot, as you can see I totally, TOTALLY botched the 'grassy' parts. Never occurred to me to pipe small blades of grass. Pfft! But what's done is done...and my sis commented that it looked like MOSS growing instead of grass. Wahahahahaha!

Some close ups on the fondant pieces....these were my first foray into playing with fondant. The first half an hour or so, I got so frustrated into just coloring the fondant and shaping the pieces into balls and triangles! But after a while, once I got the hang of how the fondant feels and works, the pieces came together quite quickly...sort of. Does 4 hours count as long to make these 10 pieces of birds, pigs and stones? =P Anyways, the birds were the harder ones to make. I think the most challenging one is the yellow one here. Shaping it into a pyramid-like shape was a nightmare! But I liked how it turned out though...so much so I made TWO! =P

Frosting a cake is SUPER hard....especially a square cake, as I'm told. Maybe I'm consoling myself, but yeah...my frosting skills DEFINITELY needs work, coz I can't seem to get it to be level enough. =/ The cream is actually whipped cream....and I finally got to use the whisk attachment on my KitchenAid! Super super cool coz it whipped up the cream in minutes!

Ooh yes...the little 'nests' are made out of mini pretzels stuck together with a bit of cookie icing. The initial plan was to use pretzel sticks, but I couldn't find them at the Cold Storage that I went to =/ So I just bought the mini pretzels, cut them up and stuck them together. =P Less than perfect-loooking nest, but it did hold up the 'eggs' (which are chocolate raisins...I underestimated the size. Should have used jelly beans instead!) so all's good I guess.

Three little piggies sat on a rock....LOL! They kinda SUNK into the rock frosting coz they were too heavy! (Go figure! LOL!) So much so, at some angles, it'll look like they have EMERGED from the rock or was part of the rock! LOLLL! These piggies were the easier ones to make...quite fun to make too! Ooh, I have to mention that the rock is made out of cake too =) I had to crumble the cake and shape it like a rock a la Cake Pops, and the put brown whipped cream on top. Halfway through decorating, I realized I had no brown food coloring...o.O" The shops were closed, and I had to deliver this the next day...so I improvised by mixing colors. Black, red and yellow....at some point I thought it would never become brown, but thank goodness it did =)

I know...could have used cocoa powder right? I DID! But it didn't turn out...hence the frantic mixing of colors and hoping they turn brown. LOL!

Last photo, I promise! Yes, the one on the left is intentionally left on its side. My sis, the ever creative one, says that the placement of the pieces made everything look too symmetrical and perfect and she dropped this one on the side to simulate that it's been plopped over by another bird a la the game.

Yup, so there is my biggest birthday cake venture yet. Hoping to get more projects like these so I can try out more techniques...=) Any takers? I don't charge expensive...just that I hope you don't mind the amateur-ish feel to the cakes. Heh!

Cookie Monster Never Had This Good....

2011-11-21T14:00:00.001+08:00

This will just be a short post since I'm a bit preoccupied with work and more 'projects' at home...hehe! The cookie craze is still on, so here are photos of my projects (some are done quite a few weeks ago...I know. Lazy me!)

I am liking this PicStitch app on my phone that allows us to edit the photos before 'stitching' them up into collages like this! Kinda like having a mini Photoshop in my phone. *grins* These are cookies from my recent surge of 'creativity' (should be read as 'inspired to try out the designs made by other cookie bloggers'!). Cherries on a polka dot background, some marbling and even some dabbling with drawing using an edible ink pen...Heh!

The "Love" series...I liked how the marbling turns out this time around. Piping still needs work though. Think it's also the consistency of the icing (made it a bit too runny so it doesn't hold its shape well). That 'film negative' effect is quite nice I think...

These were from a recent baking spree with Justina, a good friend of mine who also loves to bake....we had time to spare while waiting for some raisin cookies to bake, so we decorated these cookies that I brought from home. Inspired by some 'cute face' cupcakes that we saw online, we tried to replicate that. Hehe! Oh, and I wanted to try to make some curlicue like the ones on the Hostess Cupcake, hence the black cookie at the bottom of the pic...a little fail. LOL! Which reminds me that I wanted to try out that recipe...hmmm *grins*

Sis got the 'baking bug' too...only she wants to play with the icing instead of baking the cookies. LOL! So, I made up a batch of cookies, and she drew on the outlines using an edible ink pen before we decorated with icing (No way I can freehand ice these. Hands still too shaky!). Aren't they the cutest??! I think these characters are called Mr. Men and Little Miss, amongst some other cute characters...my fave was the ~Meow~ and Woodstock!

And last but not least, the easiest batch of cookies 'iced'. LOL! I found these pre-printed icing pieces while looking for references to Angry Birds for an order (more on that in my next post), so I thought of trying them with cookies....easy peasy! Just slap on some icing and stick the pieces on, and you're done! I piped a little border on the side just to make it like it adhered more...simple, and so pretty! Now I'm wondering if the people who prints these do custom-made printing....imagine the things we could do with these! Hehehe!

Yup, that's all from me at the moment...more to come, I promise! I'm attempting something bigger than I've ever done so far...wish me luck!

Baking Projects Galore!

2011-11-06T19:44:00.000+08:00

I've been bitten by the baking bug hard! LOL! This time around though I've been a bit more... obsessed with sugar cookies!

Yes, it all started with the Halloween cookies...probably coz I was pressed for time and what not, it was painful for me. And that's just the test run cookies!!! The real deal was actually for my neighbor, who wanted sugar cookies as her baby's full moon gift for her students. She showed me a photo of a design that she'd like from another blogger who made LOVELY cookie, and asked me if I could replicate that. I told her I'd certainly try but I can't guarantee that I would be able to make the exact same thing. But put to work I did, and while I'm still not satisfied with my 'handiwork', she loved it =)

Yup, she wanted baby face cookies...pink for her baby girl. I made Annie's Eats sugar cookies and used I Am Baker's lovely glaze icing for decoration. Loved the taste of the cookies! Again, can't say much about my 'drawing skills'. My hands are not that steady using a piping bag to draw on a cookie, and while the photo looks okay, I still think I need loads of work =P

The packaged cookies...I heart the pink ribbons with it. Usually I'm not a pink person but the pastel pink is cute =)

My next 'project' was also another order from a friend. After I'd posted a photo of the baby face cookies on my Facebook, she commented that she would like to order my sugar cookies! Previously, she'd tasted the cookies at the Halloween party and she told me she loved them (YAYY!). At first I thought she was joking...I DID have another batch of cookie dough that I'd thought of just playing around with the icing, so I jokingly told her I could have the cookies ready in a day or two if she's interested. And she said YES! Wow...it was so cool that I had another sale! A few PMs over FB later, I ended up with these:

It's for Hari Raya Haji, and she wanted to share the cookies with her family who's coming to her place to celebrate =) Initially I had thought about just using a crescent and star cutter to make different shapes, but I couldn't find a crescent cutter in time, so I just made these. Played with some sanding sugar too...silly old me didn't know how to use it and I almost botched the cookies making the sugar part in the same layer as the background! The shapes were not visible at all, given that it's yellow and white...so to try and 'save' them, I outlined the shapes again after the icing had dried. Thank goodness they came out alright!

As you can see, the drawings still need work, but I found out that the consistency of the icing also helps with the drawing. Previously I had made the outline icing a little too hard, making it so difficult to pipe (and I almost got carpal tunnel from all that squeezing! Eep!) so the second time around, I tried making it SLIGHTLY more liquid-y, and it worked!

Hahahaha...this was some leftover cookie dough and glaze icing. It looked like a skull when it came out from the oven, so I tried to make it look like one. Fail! LOLL! =P

Further inspired, I made these chocolate sugar cookies. I didn't have my usual gel food coloring, so I used a water base food coloring...boy, did it ever look weird! As you can see, they didn't cover the chocolate cookie base well. *sigh* Quality never does come cheap, IMHO. Cheap food coloring = bad coloring results.

I am still rather determined to make these work though, so I managed to get some red food coloring from my aunt (who also makes cakes for sale) and have made some more dough to be baked. *grins* Meantime, I had stalked I Am Baker's lovely designs and am very very inspired to try them out and practice my icing....hehe! These two sales got me hooked! Not sure if there will still be more sales from here on out, but I DO find that I like decorating cookies...even though it is time-consuming and all, if I can get the end result SOMEWHAT similar to the original ones, it's a great achievement for me coz I'm still a noob at this. Hopefully with more practice I'll be better *crosses fingers* Will post more photos of my 'practice cookies' next time!

KitchenAid 'Review'

2011-10-27T15:47:00.000+08:00

Okay, this won't be much of a review, seeing that I've been such a big fan of KitchenAid products for some time now, and I haven't been baking much too since I've gotten it (which is REALLY ironic, since the reason I got the KitchenAid was for baking. LOL!). It's been more than a month and sadly, I've only used it for maybe 3-4 times....*sigh*

Oh well...here's to hoping I get more free time (or I'll be able to make time more likely!) to bake more. *crosses fingers* Now, on to the review...I didn't take any photos of the real thing, since there are already such PRETTY photos of them everywhere. My cameras can't capture the glitter off the mixer, and usually when I take photos, it's already night time so lighting is really bad. But suffice to say that the real thing really does look like the photos =)

While it is shiny and pretty sitting on a tabletop, I have to say it's friggin' HEAVY! The machine weighs a few kg and gives quite a good 'workout' when I have to take it out to use =P (Due to space constraints, I had no choice but to move the mixer around every time I need to bake...need bigger kitchen!) But since it is a powerful tool that's originally built for industrial use, I suppose the weight is justified because the performance is incredible!

I've only used it for making test runs of sugar cookies so far (for my neighbor who ordered some for her baby shower), so I have yet to try it on other kinds of ingredients. Still, judging on how well it went for making the cookie dough, I would say it'll probably be the same result *grins* Usually what takes me more than a few minutes to cream the butter and sugar on my old mixer, now only requires 1-2 minutes on the KitchenAid. I LOVE the paddle attachment...so versatile and powerful! Can't wait to see how the whisk attachment fares...makes me want to make a lemon meringue pie JUST to beat the heck out of those egg whites. LOL!

Anyways, I love how it cuts the mixing time in half, and mixing is quite fun since I get to play around with it. Still need to get the hang out of using the huge mixing bowl, having to stop the machine and lift up the head in order to add other ingredients, and getting used to the different speeds. Will post more photos of the baking projects next time, but here are the photos of the sugar cookies I made =)

Although these were supposed to be 'test run' cookies, I decorated them for a Halloween party that I attended last week. Really tested my patience as I realized decorating cookies can be SO tedious and a pain. LOL! I DID like the effect of the spider web though, but will need to improve on outlining and flooding the decorations as some overflowed and the colors bled into each other....ewww. But I got good reviews from the people who tasted it, so the cookie recipe (as well as the faux royal icing recipe) is a keeper! The undecorated cookies kept really well in an air-tight container, and actually tasted BETTER after a couple of days! Still, I'm not too sure if I want to do this too much. I've only decorated 20+ cookies this time around, and it got me frustrated already....LOL! Really admire the people who sell cookies for a living...the amount of decoration and work! OMG! Well, we'll see...this is only my first 'sale'. Let's see how it goes next *wink*

Itching to bake other stuff so I can fully see the extent of this gorgeous machine, but I needs time...LOL! Can't believe I'm saying this, but CAN THERE BE MORE THAN 24 HOURS IN A DAY? =P

~ Funnest Weekend Yet ~

2011-10-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

Yup, last weekend was definitely one that I had the most fun at so far! Was fortunate enough to be able to get tickets to "The Secret Life of Nora", "In Perfect Harmony" as well as "Short + Sweet Dance: Week 2"....yes, 3 different shows in the span of two days! I went for "The Secret Life Of Nora" on Friday evening (had a blast!); and on Saturday, it was "In Perfect Harmony" for the matinee show, followed by "Short + Sweet" in the evening! All were lovely, great, amazing, breath-taking, confusing at times, and funny...yes, all in one go. *wink* Needless to say, I've enjoyed every single bit of it...good and bad alike! Reviews on the shows will be up on the other blog ASAP =)

It's times like these that I feel, hey...at least there's something that I can enjoy and be happy about instead of just work, work, work, mope or be emo. These last few months of the year I've been hearing about quite a number of shows that I'm so interested to go to...let's hope that I will be able to afford it! *crosses fingers* As of now, plans to go to "Wicked" are steadily forming, and ALMOST complete! I just need to confirm some details and I'll be able to purchase my ticket! YAYY! DEFINITELY will post about it when I get back...don't want to to jinx it or anything, so hopefully everything goes well!

Workout time at the gym is slowly getting back on track I hope...I was told that my last job for data cleansing might be the last project for the year. While this means I won't be getting extra income for the rest of the year, it would also mean that I can finally concentrate on getting back in shape for at least the next 2-3 months before the late nights and missed workout times start again next year. HOPEFULLY by then, I would have gotten some results...fingers crossed!

Oh yes, and another FUN thing that happened was that I got an offer to write Celeb News for the company that I had been previously writing reviews for! YAYY! Got an email from them on Friday, so 'twas a very nice start to the weekend *grins* I've missed writing reviews, and am glad they've decided to let me have another go at it when they have a review coming up...together with this Celeb News thing (which is supposed to be daily articles), it'll be awesome! I'll be getting my writing bug back....YAYY!

Here's to more great news coming till the end of the year, and many more years to come...*grins* I heart days like these!

Perspective...

2011-10-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

Whenever I see or hear the word "perspective", I'm always reminded of Anton Ego from "Ratatouille" and his way of saying it....super cool, ego-tistic and a bit sarcastic. Love it! Anyways, I was thinking of writing about something else, but this word kept popping in my head whenever I try to think of a title so I figured...why not? I'm kind of 'free-writing' at the moment, so forgive me if the grammar is a bit out of whack. LOL!

Let's see...perspective, perspective. There are always two different sides to the coin, different views on the matter, and as my Dad loves to quote, "We need to look at things from a helicopter view: where we see things from all perspectives / angles." And I guess there will always be people who will disagree with me on this little 'matter' (Hey, this DOES kinda tie in together...YAYY!)

I've always been kind of independent as a kid...even until now, whenever I can, I will just try and do things by myself first before going to ask someone for help. Google has definitely been my good friend since I was introduced to it in uni (LOL!) and most things I usually could 'solve' by taking some time and working it out on my own (albeit sometimes it'll be super slow, but hey I get it done. *grins*) So, I guess you could say I am comfortable being alone and all.

Just yesterday, I was chatting with a friend about our different hobbies. I told her about my fondness for musicals and my plans to go watch some of them in the near future...and the next thing she asked me was, "Who are you going with?" When I said that I usually go to these things alone, I got a shocked look followed by curiosity. "Why don't you ask other friends to go with you?" and other similar questions ensued...

Honestly, I don't know what's the big fuss about going for shows by myself...LOL! I've been to quite a few shows by myself, and have enjoyed them immensely. True, it would have been nice to have a friend to go with - especially during the waiting period before the show starts and everyone milling around the entrance are with their dates / groups and chatting, while you stand around awkwardly looking at the watch and willing for time to move faster - but during the show anyways, I wouldn't be chatting with my friend about the show and stuff like that. I'll be so engrossed it'll be like I went there alone! So yeah, there you have it...my loner confession. =P

My friend proceeded to say that she'll never really go unless there's someone that she can 'drag' along at least...apparently she feels 'safer' knowing that there is someone that is there with her. To me, that kinda sounds like a clingy person (though I never told her so) seeing that someone will only ever do something when there's someone else accompanying him / her. That would be so hindering when one wants to try new things! True, it will be terrifying at first coz you're venturing out on your own but after a while you'll get used to it...after all, haven't we been going about things on our own since we were kids? You know, our first days in school....all the way up to uni and even in our work. Don't we all start alone somewhere? After that initial first few days, things start getting into the 'normal' groove and we feel comfortable again. I've always thought about things like this, so it's always kinda fun to try something new and most of the time I don't mind going at it alone coz not many people share the same sentiments as me.

A good example would be travelling...I've always wanted to go backpacking across countries and see the world. Don't know when that will happen (probably not in the near future!), but when I can afford it, I don't think I will find someone that will want to go on the same trip with me. And honestly, whenever I go for trips especially with a large group of people...sometimes it can be pretty annoying having to tolerate everybody's whims and fancies. When in a group, I usually go with the flow, not wanting to create tension but most of the time the things that the majority likes, I'm not really in the mood for...which kinda sucks especially when we're in a pretty cool place and I want to go 'exploring' but the rest just wants to go to the tourist-y places. Hence, my preference to want to go alone so I can just up and go wherever and whenever I want to and not be stepping on anybody's toes. At the same time, I can go and enjoy the things that I am interested in and not having to wait or worse still, being rushed because the rest of the group has become bored (but I've just started -_-").

Yeah, I know...travelling alone has its cons too but most things in life have their pros and cons. I guess it's just a matter of whether we choose to go for it or not. Most of the time, I look at the pros and try it out...but at the same time, try to weigh out the cons as well and be aware of some consequences just in case. It's worked well for me so far, so I'm happy with it. Like the title says, it's about perspective. I may seem like a loner, but sometimes being alone isn't all that bad =) Yes, I have had times where I feel like crap and needed someone really close that I can talk to...but until I find that someone, I don't think I want to sit around and mope and miss out on some fun things in life. So, going at it alone is good enough for me =)

Control vs. Freedom

2011-09-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

You know that scene in Harry Potter where he ducks his head into the Pensieve and gets transported into someone's memories as a spectator but cannot do anything about it? Well, I've been kind of feeling that a lot lately....just yesterday night, I became a reluctant 'eye and ear witness' to a big argument at home between the parents and my younger sis. Why reluctant? Picture this if you will: I'd just gotten back from the gym all tired and aching (think I've overworked the arms a little...two consecutive days of arm group muscle exercises!) and after resting a little and catching up on some Cesar Milan episodes, I went to bed to catch some Z's. It's past 12am, and the sis comes storming into the room and starts a yelling fest with Mom followed by Dad!

Don't think I want to go into the specifics (that would take a whole lot of words...and then some!), but suffice to say that she is not a big fan of the parents trying to control her life. Yes, by this point of time you've probably realized that we're still living with our parents...sad, isn't it? And I'm sharing a room even! *face palm* Jokes aside though, I had been wondering where did that notion that 'someone still living with their parents is a bad thing' came about? Anyways, I'm digressing...where was I?

Oh yes, see...this sis of mine has been kind of a 'rebel' - if you will - in our family. She's the one that while my parents spoil her to bits, will also be the one that they worry about the most in terms of her 'behaviour'. So, in this argument she's been spewing words like "Who still gives curfews to their 24-year-old daughter??" or "I'm so sick of living in this 'cage' and having NO LIFE WHATSOEVER", and especially "It is such a SHAME to have you as my parents!" to them.

While some of what she mentioned was kinda true, (I felt the same way too about the 'curfews', only I was too chicken to say it out loud) the one thing that really got to me was her biggest saying that she is so ashamed of our parents. If there is one thing true about parents, they will never be perfect...but NO ONE (and I really do emphasize that) has the right to say that they are ashamed of their parents! They are after all, the ones who brought us into the world and took care of us in our most vulnerable times, showered us with their love and provided us with the best that they could give. Yes, I may be resentful of what they might do sometimes but I do believe that I am not ashamed of my parents because without them I wouldn't be what I am today. For this, I felt really angry for my parents, and I can't imagine how their hearts would have broken when they hear it coming out from her mouth.

Looking on the 'outside' of the argument, what I can gather is that she is resentful of how restrictive they are in terms of house rules and what not, but she doesn't see the other things that they do: how they would just drop what they're doing and accommodate her every whim; how Mom wakes up every time to make her breakfast regardless of what time she goes to work (and she does go to work at some ungodly hours!) or wait for her to come home safely from the airport every time; how Mom would make sure her uniform is always pressed and ready for her while she just goes out and have fun with her bf/friends...the list goes on.

That being said though, our parents do exercise really rigid house rules...I still do remember to this day how someone mockingly and incredulously said to me, "You still have curfew ar??!" when I told them I had to leave early. And that happened in my uni days! These days, while sometimes my parents don't mention anything when I hang out late with friends, (is 2-3am considered late?) whenever they do it's always in some condescending tone which is very frustrating especially when they assume that when we go out, all we will ever do is drink, smoke, do drugs, or screw around (??!!!)

What I really would like to do is just to tell them that they've raised us right! Don't they know that all the nagging and what not have resulted in us being who we are now? Sure, we may hang out with friends who party, but that doesn't mean that we are so easily influenced now....I mean, give yourselves some credit! All those years of grilling into our heads that smoking / drinking is detrimental...you think we didn't listen but we do. I for one, can't drink AT ALL...the most I would go is a glass or two of beer. No matter how one coaxes me, I don't drink more than that coz it really doesn't agree with me and I don't like that feeling so I know my limits. And don't get me started on smoking either...while I do have quite a few friends who smoke, and I HAVE tried shisha before it doesn't really affect me much. I don't feel the peer pressure of wanting to smoke to look cool or to socialize more with others. So, have faith in us Mom and Dad! We do know how to differentiate what's right and wrong! If only they could read this and understand...though some small part of me also thinks that because they have ingrained into their heads that we are still small girls who are so naive they feel the need to 'protect' us from the cruel world, they won't listen. *sigh*

Which really brings me to my next question: How much control is too much? All I've known in my life so far is my parents are being overprotective (up to the point of smothering sometimes), and yet I have also friends whose parents gave them complete freedom in the sense that they don't blink an eye when their kids only come home the next day, or not knowing where their kids are at any time....which got me thinking, what if (on the off chance) something untoward happens to the kids? Will anybody know where to look for them, or try and get help from others - be it the authorities or family and friends? From this point of view, I am glad that we have some accountability within our family...I do know that at some point of time, if I don't call home or I don't get home, my parents will not hesitate to call me straightaway or do something to ensure that I am on my way home safely. True, it is rather uncomfortable to be receiving a call from home whenever you're hanging out with friends, but knock on wood...if anything bad happens to me, I know at least SOMEONE knows where I was and will try to get a hold of me again.

Bleh...I sound like a nerdy goody-two-shoes daughter. Sometimes, I've wondered if I'm like those characters that you see on those behavioral analysis shows...you know, the one who tries REALLY hard to be that perfect kid for the parents to compensate for the behavior of the other siblings who are giving the parents a hard time. Come to think of it, perhaps I am...or I could be watching too many of these shows that I've been brainwashed or something =\ Still, I've also wondered what it's like to have total freedom. Yeah, lots of people tell me that it's easy....just move out. Believe me, I have toyed with that option so many times it's unimaginable! But (and there's always a but!), it's not that simple for my family for many reasons that I don't think I can share just yet. As it is, I believe this is the longest entry I have to date....think I'd better stop for now.

Friends...

2011-09-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

Love 'em or hate 'em, at some point in our lives we do need a friend (or two) to share our happiness, sadness, frustration, etc etc. Just today I had a conversation with a colleague about our own personalities and the friends we keep, and it was kind of a little nudge on me that I don't have that many friends, or I don't really know how to choose my friends.

I can't exactly remember how our conversation veered into this direction, but we started talking about friends and she asked me if I have any best friends. Thinking about it after a while, I told her that I don't really have any kind of best friend....and she looked at me almost with sympathy.

To be honest, my definition of a 'best friend' would be the kind of friend where we would share literally (almost) everything....in terms of really personal things. You know, the kind that we see in the movies and what not...those friends that are almost joined at the hip and will do almost everything together, share secrets with each other that nobody else knows (not even their own family), etc etc. But I find that over the years, while I have made many good and close friends, I don't even have one friend that I would share my deepest, darkest secrets with.

Not that I have any weird secrets or whatever, but it made me realize that hmm....I'm quite the loner. And as I try to think on the reasons why, I wonder if it could be because I was built that way. I am a middle child...my elder sis was very much older than me, so we didn't have that much in common growing up (till now). My younger sis, although nearer in age with me, was kind of a spoiled brat (LOL!) so I pretty much spend my time alone. I favored books over hanging out with friends; when my sisters went into the Arts stream, I ventured into Science; none of my sisters liked music, but I reveled in it (at least for a good few years till I felt so pressured I quit). Pretty much most of my childhood I do things on my own and was pretty independent. When things go wrong, I find myself retreating to my 'safe place' which is my own mind...and try to work things out myself. The few times I try to open up to my sisters, they backfire and I guess it became sort of second nature to keep myself guarded at all times.

I don't blame anybody really...it's just that I've been so used to being on my own that it's hard to let anybody else in. I guess, so much so that when people first met me they think I'm someone who is arrogant or snobbish. Yes, I have had so many of my friends tell me that that's their first impression of me! I try my hardest not to be super quiet and all, but meh...it never really worked. But once they get to know me, they find that hey, I'm not that bad...just awkward with social situations, speaks almost exclusively in English and will probably only talk with people when first talked to. LOL! Somehow though, I've managed to make some friends, and thanks to the Internet, quite a few good online friends as well. It's just when it comes to personal matters, I've never yet met someone that I've felt comfortable enough to 'bare my heart and soul'...so to speak.

And my colleague tells me that it's because I've never actually shared with someone. How would I know whether I am comfortable enough? And I realize that it's kinda true too. I've not opened my heart yet to anybody before...how WOULD I know whether I can trust someone right? There was a time when I thought I could do that, but that relationship (if I can call it that) got nipped in the bud before I took that leap. I guess it's always going to be kinda like, I have to take the first step and pray to God that I don't fall straight into the valley.

Well, I do hope to someday find that ever-elusive person that I could talk about anything with...till then, this journal of mine will probably be my only outlet. And till then, I'm really thankful for my handful of good friends who still wanted to be my friend even when I have my emo times and what not =) Cheers for good friends!

Bits and pieces...

2011-09-20T14:58:00.000+08:00

Whew, here I go again...go on a post rampage and then 'silence' for a few weeks. LOL! Oh well, here are the bits and pieces of updates so far:

It's been quite a hectic few weeks as I had been busy with work, which is good...I have been here for a year now, and I have no complaints in the sense that I don't feel restless or unaccomplished or even dissatisfied. Sure, there have been stress at work...sometimes more than I bargained for, but it all worked out in the end. For which I'm thankful for, and I am hoping this state that I'm in lasts for some time =) Being able to learn more about the systems that I'm working with and still being motivated to continue on with this company are kind of good signs for me at the moment.

The past few days also had been a bit dizzying, what with me doing the data cleansing job again...I know, I said I would never do it again but the pay is kind of good for a few days' work and it's only a few days. I could tolerate this kind of job maybe once a month...it will definitely help me to save a little bit more money. So, if the opportunity comes again next month I might just consider doing it again. LOL!

Gym on the other hand had been fluctuating =( Just a few days ago, I had my personal training session with Jack and he wanted to do the physical assessment thing to check on my progress. I waited with anticipation to see how I'd done, but to my dismay I didn't even lose 1kg! (I lost like 600g...LMAO!) And to rub salt in the wound, my fat percentage has gone up almost 2% and muscle mass decreased! *sighhhhh* Jack asked me about my eating habits and at first thought, I don't remember eating out of the ordinary (this meaning I have been sticking to less oily foods, more fruits and veggies, more grilled / steamed foods when possible, less portions). Until....I checked back my food journal. Dang it, there have been wedding dinners, open houses, and super heavy lunches (think burgers and other fast food. Eep!) that I had forgotten about and needless to say, I had been eating too much. Blehhhhhh! Just goes to show that I can't have too much in one stretch of a time...once a while is still fine, but once I start eating more, THIS happens. Oh well...Jack gave me some 'homework' to do in between our sessions, i.e 40 mins of cardio (or burning 600kcal!), followed by 2-3 sets of lunges, squats, burpees and sit ups (20 reps each!). o.O" Wish me luck as I try to attempt it this week after the part time job finishes!

Ah yes, another bit that I'm pretty excited about is that I've splurged on something that's kind of been on my wishlist since I've started vesting an interest in baking. It's black, shiny, and kinda huge! LOL! Yeah, of all the double entendres I can use, I use those...*rolls eyes* Here's a photo that I grabbed online just to show a sneak peek. I have yet to unwrap it in its entirety to snap proper pics and get a feel on how to use it, so hopefully I can do that in my next entry:

Isn't it gorgeous??! Okay, my ideal color wasn't caviar (it was pretty IMPERIAL RED!!), but umm...let's just say I got a better deal buying from a place that only carries the caviar color than the others that carry the other colors. And (as I try to keep consoling myself) what's important is the functionality right? Looks are good, but what matters most is how it works...and this works just as well as the gorgeous red one! What's more, this has shiny glitter all over it to make up for the fact that it's a boring black....LOL! Yes, I'm babbling yet again....so I shall save all the babble for when I DO actually have the time to get it out of its box and actually start up the motor to use it. Will post up photos really soon =)

Wow...seems like it wasn't exactly 'Bits and Pieces' as I'd expected. Oh well, you know long-winded me. =P

Birthdays....

2011-08-29T09:09:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's been a hectic 2 weeks and I'm only FINALLY able to sit down properly and try to type out this entry. LOL! Been mulling about this for some time now, so here goes =)

It was my birthday some 2 weeks ago. I turned 27...haha! Yes, I'm not afraid to reveal my age =P Probably coz the phase of being afraid to let people know my age has not hit yet, but this year had been somewhat different compared to the previous ones...don't think I've really written about my birthday before so this is a first too! LOL! First things first, I want to post up some photos (since my previous posts have been pretty much devoid of photos, I thought I'd 'spice' it up a bit. Hahahaha!)

This was a little birthday cake that my colleagues got for me the day before my actual birthday! My birthday fell on a public holiday (for Selangor state...so YAYYY!) so some of my colleagues got me one to celebrate. Wasn't really a surprise as some of the girls asked me to drive them to the bakery (pretending that they wanted to buy cake)! Haha! But it was still sweet that they thought of my birthday and the cake was a REALLY yummy one =) Chocolate mousse to be exact, with some glazed strawberries. Yum! And they made me eat like 3 slices of it! And OMG I've now only realized that my hairline is receding....EEP! I'm going to need hair transplants soon!

On my actual birthday, I had a 'date' with S & K, two of my colleagues who recently I've also become good friends with...our birthdays are kind of close to each other's so we thought we'd celebrate it together by going out for lunch and a movie. So, we headed to Sushi Tei at Tropicana City Mall. This was what I had...soba with scallops and egg. Very scrumptious! =)

There were also other great foods that we ordered but this was my favourite...tropical salmon maki! The salmon was fried briefly with some tempura, then wrapped with some thin slices of avocado, seaweed and topped with some yellow shrimp roe. Very nice, as the salmon is super tender =)

After lunch we headed for a movie ("Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes", which was STUPENDOUS! I wish I had remembered to blog about it, but it was quite some time ago since I've watched it that I'm not sure I'll do justice to it. Hmm...maybe I should watch it again! Heh!) and straight on to dessert...frozen yogurt! I've heard all about Tutti Frutti, but have yet to actually try it so this was a real treat. The staff was nice enough to let me sample all the flavours before I made my choice...and it was super yummy! Burned quite a hole in my wallet but meh, it's my birthday right? LOL!

And the celebrations didn't actually end on that day...the whole tester team at my office decided to treat me to lunch the next day, and it was a nice meal too! Will try to post up a blog about it ASAP in the next blog. =) On my family side, we didn't really celebrate my birthday as I had to work that night (that part-time job thingy that sucked) but my elder sis got me some skincare products (which are super nice!) and younger sis got me something too, which is...

THIS AWESOME CAKE! It was from a super cool bakery place called "Delectable" in The Gardens...loved it! Look at the pretty details on the cake...I so wish I had the creativity to make this sort of cake! The taste was awesome too...vanilla cake with a little bit of a citrus-y, ginger-y after taste, layered with buttercream. Yum!

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Well, aside from all the gushing about how fun my birthday was (it was, and I had a good time. Heh!), I had a bit of a mulling over when I turned 27. Got thinking about how I am now considered in my 'late twenties', what have I really accomplished so far; have I really matured enough to warrant being a 27-year-old, or did I waste my twenties away? So I thought it'd be fun to put down some points of how I was 10 years ago, and where do I stand with those opinions now:

10 years ago: My biggest worries were things like where do I go after high school? Do I go to college? Form 6? University? What kind of courses do I choose? Science / Arts stream?
Now: I worry about work....Am I doing enough / Am I NOT doing enough? How do I stay away from the politics of work without it jeopardizing my relationship with my colleagues or my performance? Will I stay with this company for long, or do I move on to a better company when the time is right? When IS the right time to move on? If I DO move on, will I ever know if it's the correct move or did I just screw myself over again?
10 years ago: Guys with androgynous looks are super cute / handsome to me. I fancied artistes like Kian and Shane from Westlife, or the Japanese / Korean / Spanish actors of that time (can't exactly pinpoint who I had a total crush on that time...gosh, too long ago. LOL!)
Now: I have a soft spot for guys with a well-kept five o'clock shadow. LOL! The clean shaven look is also cool, but I dunno...I find it quite sexy that a guy has a wee bit of a stubble. LOL! Hmm...let's see. Loved Aragorn in LOTR, Hugh Jackman, David Cook, Ramin Karimloo, Wentworth Miller, Gale Harold...and the list can go on and on. Haha!
10 years ago: My type of music would only be like the Top 40 chart songs on Hitz FM. Mostly pop songs...notably boybands. Yes, I've been in that teeny bopper phase of being a HUGE fan of Westlife. They were the only boyband that I've ever done crazy things for, like buying every single album (even the so-called 'deluxe' editions where they release the same album + a measly few more songs with a decidedly higher price!), buying tonnes of magazines so I could read about them (and a lot of these mags were from the UK...not cheap!) and cut out their photos so I could put them in my scrapbook, collecting any sort of memorabilia on them and attending almost all their concerts whenever they came down to KL (they did come down a lot those days!) Come to think of it...I think I still do have some of their memorabilia left with me. Haha! Wonder what it would be like when I look it up!
Now: I still do enjoy Westlife's songs, but not in that teeny bopper way anymore. My taste in music (if that's what you call it. LOL!) have sort of diverged into stuff like Linkin Park (also a huge fan!); quite a few independent artistes like Joshua Payne, Darin Southam, David Choi, Jonathan Clay; and of course pop-classical artistes like Josh Groban, Il Divo, Teatro; musicals and most of the easy-listening genre =)
10 years ago: I'm always wondering if I'll ever find a boyfriend, especially when a lot of my friends have started dating already and it's quite depressing to say the least.
Now: I am STILL wondering....LOL! Now, the situation has somewhat changed though as most of my friends are either in a relationship, got engaged, married / getting married, or have kids / planning for kids. And the question that always begged to be asked whenever people see me is, "So, when's your turn?" *rolls eyes* Can't say I'm exactly depressed, but it's a bit disheartening. And yet, I'm also sort of resigned...if I'm meant to be a spinster for the rest of my life, I guess so be it. *shrugs*
10 years ago: I HATED the way that I looked...partly because I was already overweight (yes, even at that age!) and my face was like a poster for bad skin. Tried all sorts of things (which I could afford at the time) but to no avail, until my Mom decided she'd bring me to the dermatologist. Helped me in some way as my skin started clearing a little bit...but I was not a happy teenager to say the least.
Now: I've learnt that a lot of problems we have with our bodies stem from our emotions...my bad skin was a manifestation of how I hated myself, which is kind of true. My bad skin was a result of me hating myself, and when I see myself in this condition, I hated myself even more....creating a vicious cycle. *sigh* So, am trying hard to be more positive and not to think so much that I'm fugly. It helps a little that I'm starting to lose some weight coz of the exercise, and I've started to use a little makeup to conceal the redness so that I look fractionally normal and not an alienoid. Hence, I'm keeping the positive thoughts going. Also waiting for a good time (read: financially able) to get to a dermatologist as the skin is not looking much better....I was so naive thinking that acne is for teenagers. Here I am in my late twenties, and I'm still breaking out! On the one hand, I could say that my skin is still in its teens. Wahahahaa! But on the other, it's getting really annoying that I still have to deal with this after so long. Pfft!

I've got a bunch more, but I realize this has gotten so long I've probably bored the wits out of you who is reading this (if there is ANYBODY reading this at all. LOL!) so I shall stop there. It has been fun reminiscing about old times....I wonder what it would be like 10 years from now. =) I'm hoping I change more for the better and that I'll be as happy as I could be. *crosses fingers*

Cacophony of Thoughts...

2011-08-18T23:40:00.001+08:00

...and yet when I sit and try to write, they seem to disappear leaving me blank. LOL! Let me see if I can put them up properly.

Top of my head right now is the fact that I'm working a part-time job after working hours...LOL! Don't know why I applied for the job in the first place...guess it was the 'attractive' salary of said job. The ad reads 'up to a maximum of RM3k for 8 days worth of work'. Sounds kinda too good to be true right? It IS! Let's start from the beginning...a friend had told me about the ad on Facebook (the person advertising it is from a recruitment agency). Curiosity got the best of me, as they only wanted people with a good command of English...I PM-ed the lady and she told me that it's a 'data cleansing' job, in the sense that they would require the data cleansers to call people / companies from a list and confirm some contact information. For every info that we obtain, there will be a certain amount paid on top of a fixed hourly rate. Sounds simple enough I figured...I sent in my resume and they told me I was selected. YAYY! I was asked to start the following day (Tuesday).

At first I figured that the salary was high because of the working hours (9pm - 6am!!! Yes, I thought I could be Superwoman for 8 days...it's ONLY 8 days right? *rolls eyes*), but it wasn't as simple as that...*sigh* For one, I was told the working hours had been slashed to only 9pm - 3am. On the one hand, I get more sleep! But less money. Pfft. Two, the numbers we are supposed to call were not all available and we had to Google for them online...WTF! And their definition of getting a cleanse was to get at least 2 contact persons for each company (unless the company has only one point of contact for the department). Pfft! It's lucky that the supervisor was nice enough and said that if we had to look up the phone numbers ourselves, that phone number is considered a cleanse as well, so that helped me a little. Didn't like making phone calls, even though I had a script to assist me on getting those contacts. But it was sometimes quite fun to talk to different people in the US / Canada. Some of them are VERY nice, some are super weird, and there are some that are so hostile that they would almost scream at you just because you were looking for an email address and they refuse to give it to you. Got out of the wrong side of the bed much??!

Anyhoots, today is only my third day, and I'm starting to feel the effects...reaching home at about 4am to grab a few Zzz's till 7am; wake up, shower, grab a quick breakfast and maybe pack snacks to rush to the office and start my 9am - 5.30pm job; rush home by which time will be almost 7pm, sneak a half an hour nap before waking to shower and dress before heading for this job. Yeah, what the heck was I thinking right? Believe me, I felt cheated more than once when I saw what the real work was about....bleh. But I'd already said I would come so might as well finish what I started right? One more day to go before the weekends so I can SLEEEEEEEEP (how I miss my bed) so I'm hanging on to that thought =) *yawns* Note to self: Never believe such attractive job pulls....they're kinda bullcrap.

On my health, I haven't been able to get to the gym the past 3 days *sob* I feel kinda weird right now that I'm not doing much exercise...and to make it worse, staying up late makes me HUNGRY. *sigh* My diet is screwed. But I do try to pack some veggies and fruits whenever I can, so even if I snack I don't eat too much of junk food and what not. Ah yes, I'm keeping my own food journal now...it really helps to list down what I eat and look back at the choices I made. I used to think this was really silly, but when I actually had to do it I realized that it does have a good impact on the food choices we make! And I tried an RPM class on Monday! Super super fun, but very challenging on my legs and stamina...I have no semblance of a stamina. LOL! Give me resistance exercises and I will push through them...but those that involves stamina always kills me. Haha! Guess I will need to practise more on that. The instructor was really nice when he found out it was my first class...quite an enjoyable class =) Will hopefully be going regularly once I get this part-time job thingy out of the way. *crosses fingers*

Right...my head is really blank and blur at the moment. Must be the lack of sleep and I'm idling on my desktop here right now, waiting for my next list of people to call. Will update more when my head's clearer...*yawns*

Progress thus far...

2011-08-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I had to keep blogging about my sessions at the gym. LOL! Maybe it's partly because I want to keep motivating myself, or just as a reminder that I NEED to keep the progress going. Maybe because there's always something happening that makes me want to blog about it, or maybe I'm just too free at the moment. =P

Anyhoo, it was my fifth session with Jack yesterday. Didn't really do anything interesting...we just did reps with some other machines. In between there was some cycling, jump steps on the stepboard, and sit-ups. Quite a good workout...I notice that Jack will increase the weights after each rep, which is good. Now if only I could remember how to use them by myself! LOL! It's a bit intimidating to try out the machines myself, especially when there are so many people around (mostly guys) who seem to know what they're doing...I know I'm not supposed to care what people will think, [Note: you know those movies / shows that depict the gym as a place for guys to check out hot chicks or girls to ogle at guys with their buff bodies working out? Totally NOT the case! LOL! Sure, there will be some pretty girls who don't look like they need the workouts and buff guys doing the weights every now and then but the majority of people working out are just normal people like you and me. Plus, I don't know how people can ogle at someone who had just finished working out....everyone is just sweaty and gross, myself included! I couldn't be bothered to look most of the time. Haha!] but I also don't want to risk spoiling the machines or worse, injuring myself trying to attempt it. >.<" Lucky for me there is a ladies workout area for the ladies only...I don't really see many people there. Maybe I could go there and play around with the machines there instead of looking like an idiot at the general area trying to use the machines and people are standing around waiting their turn...but, I digressed.

After the workout, Jack reviewed my food logs and was quite happy with my mealtimes and food that I had yesterday. (yayy!) What I did was basically make my own breakfast (just some scrambled eggs with wholemeal toast and half a kiwi), and then eat healthier in the main meals (more proteins, less carbs, include some veggies and fruits in too), and snacking on light food (read: oat biscuits, fruits or veggies) between those meals. The past two weeks, I've been trying to follow this routine and eating at least 4-5 meals a day...seems to be working. I'm not eating as much, coz I know I will have something to eat in a few more hours. He advised for me to follow those mealtimes as closely as possible...and I'm hoping I could. At the moment, I'm motivated enough to wake up earlier than usual to prepare my breakfast and snacks for when I'm in the office...fingers crossed that I'll keep this streak up!

It felt good to know that at least I'm getting some things right when some others are still kinda wrong...=) Of course, being the curious cat, I asked Jack what did he think about my progress. Am I slacking? Do I try enough? And he said that I could see how much progress I've made by going on the physical assessment machine again. I did, and the first thing I noticed was my weight. I had gained 2kg in 2 weeks...WTF! But then Jack said, it's okay...the weight gain was because of the muscle mass that I had increased. According to the machine, I had increased my muscle mass by about 2+ kg. YAYY! My fat percentage has also gone down 2.3%, which according to Jack, is about 2kg of fat lost. Double YAYY! All this in the span of 5 sessions (I had been a little slack and only coming to the gym for the sessions...except for one day which I blogged about previously), so it's really satisfying. Jack also said that as I go further, when the fat mass goes lower and muscle mass increases, the weight will eventually go down so all's good I guess. My BMI is still at a normal range (though bordering on the edge already >.<") but I'm optimistic I guess. I don't really know if I should trust the machine thingy 100% but in time I will know I guess...previously, the only measure I had for myself was the way my clothes fit better / started to get loose. At least I know the amount of money spent of personal training is not gone to waste =) Now, to put more effort and to get my butt in the gym in between PT sessions!

To quote a Glee song: "I Feel Pretty / Unpretty"

2011-08-07T21:36:00.004+08:00

Whew, I seem to be on a roll here...*grins* Now to get back on the saddle with my other blogs too and it would be super awesome! =)

Anyways, I had been logging down every meal that I take in for the past week for my personal trainer...I guess - in a way - writing down every thing that I've eaten kind of puts my mind into a mode where I start thinking about the food choices I've made. Subconsciously, I've been eating healthier (less oily and fatty foods, though I've succumbed to a meal of a McD's GCB; more fruits and veggies). Could it be because I want to put my best foot forward (so to speak) so that it wouldn't look too bad when I show the food log to Jack? Maybe, but I find that I'm actually enjoying the foods that I've eaten so far...so much so that when I had that McD meal the other day, the fries tasted a little plasticky to me instead of the yummy fries that I loved. o.O" Today, I was actually looking at the calorie count on the back label of the soya bean drink that I was having (230 kcal per bottle of 300 ml) and I still remember thinking, "Gosh...that is about half an hour of running / walking on the treadmill!"

Which brings me to my next thought...have I become obsessed with all this until it has become (somewhat) extreme? When I first started out with the classes back in September last year, my initial goal was just to try and get healthy and hopefully lose some weight. Throughout that process, I did notice that my mindset have changed. I make a conscious effort to try and eat less and healthier, but I've not really limited myself to only healthy foods. I still do indulge in treats (some I baked myself) and have not really put much thought into it. It was the thinking of 'Balance Over Time' for me: if I have eaten something that's not so healthy, I'll eat healthier in the next meal and push harder in the classes that I go to. And that has worked for me...the weight has been coming off; slow but I'm satisfied with the pace.

Now, it seems like I'm counting the calories not unlike the contestants in "The Biggest Loser" shows...every time I eat something, I'm thinking of whether it will be enough proteins, too much carbs, too much fats, too much sugar, blah blah blah. And then I had to stop myself and go, "Stop obsessing!!" I don't want to be that person who can't enjoy food whenever they want to just because it's too fatty...and yet, I also want to try and reach my long term goal as soon as possible. LOL! Kind of an oxymoron, I know...but that's me I guess.

Recently, a colleague of mine mentioned that she has signed up for a slimming course with a beauty centre...she spent a huge amount of money on it, and I remember thinking that I don't really believe in those kind of things. To me, those slimming centres are the equivalent to those extreme dieting and 'treatments' that doesn't work. Believe me when I say I've tried all kinds of diets...I've been on the no-carbs diet, and my biggest 'success' for that phase was following the 3 Day Diet, of which I lost 3kgs after the diet was over. But then I gained back the weight (and then some) a few days after...why? Because I was so deprived from the foods that I liked (even for only 3 days), I find myself craving those foods even more. Of course, it didn't help that my family members were eating those very foods in front of me when I was on the diet. But then, it was myself too that I can't stop thinking "OMG...when I'm done with this diet, I will be able to eat normal food again!" and when the diet was over I went overboard. >.<" But I digress...

Anyways, she's been going for the treatments for about a week so far...and she told me she lost about 2kg already. While I'm happy for her weight loss, I'm also a little concerned that she might be going to be like me when I was on the 3 Day Diet thing. For one, her diet has been drastically slashed into not even half of what I'm eating (!!)...her beautician has been getting her to drink lemon water every morning, she is only allowed to have rice every alternate day, foods have to be as oil-less as possible, and even fruits have to be restricted to certain kinds because apparently some fruits are 'fattening'. O.O" Case in point: she felt like having durian the other day, but she only had one measly bite from a seed because according to her beautician, one seed of durian equals to one bowl of rice, hence one whole kg of weight when you partake of it. When I heard that, I remember telling her that it's all bullshit....where in the world do they get all these 'facts'??!! And the worse thing is, they're feeding these crap to the girls out there who trusted them to help them look good!

I'm no expert in nutrition, but I do have experience with nutritionists since I follow my Mom on her appointments with them for her diabetes. That, and what I've read and studied so far being in the Science field has enlightened me a little bit on nutrition. Needless to say, I'm absolutely gobsmacked that she's been following that advice to the T, but then I've also kept telling her that when it comes to food, moderation is the key because if we're too deprived of the foods that we're so used to, we will eventually be so depressed that we can't eat those anymore. That spirals into a craving that will get worse until we finally succumb and go overboard, throwing all the efforts we have put into previously to waste...guess I need to follow my own advice too. LOL!

Writing all these down brings me to this realization - while we all have our own methods in trying to look good and becoming healthy, it is also important (for me at least) to stop every now and then, sit back and evaluate whether what we're doing puts us on the right track or are we leading ourselves down a winding and confusing road. As that song lyric goes,"...but if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to, be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty"

I wish my colleague all the best in her course...perhaps she'll be even slimmer than me in no time, but for me exercise and a healthier choice of foods have been the things that work so far. I'm reaping the rewards right now, but I have a long way to go still...here's to hoping that I stay on this course and recognize the signs that I'm starting to obsess so that I won't spiral down into that phase! *crosses fingers*

Kickboxing = Kick-ass FUN!

2011-08-05T17:22:00.002+08:00

So, it was my third session with my personal trainer, Jack...I had arrived earlier and did about 30 mins of cardio on the treadmill (This time around, I got 'smart' and brought my earphones along...heh! With the earphones plugged in, I find myself being able to distract myself from looking too frequently at the timer while I ran / walked, bringing my total calories burned to almost 250 and I walked / ran for about 4+ km! YAYY!). Feeling gung ho, I went eagerly to the session thinking that maybe we'd do more of the machines but Jack said he wants to do some kickboxing. Woohoo! Caught me by surprise, but it's a good one =) Been curious as to how they train kickboxing and since Jack has been training Muay Thai for more than 10 years(!!!) I was all set!

He first wrapped my hands with boxing handwraps...I felt like those competition fighters where I had an assistant doing it for me. LOLL! Quite interesting too to see how it's done...Jack mentioned that there are so many different ways for wrapping the hands, i.e for competitions they don't use such long wraps, etc. Then, he proceeded to help me with the gloves and I'm ready to kick butt. LOL!

I was then taught the basic stance (whenever we're not punching or kicking, the stance is important to protect your face from being hit), and then it was the basic punches (jab, cross, hook, upper cut) and basic kicks (front push, front kick). It felt a little awkward at first trying out the punches, as the gloves felt bulky and I'm not used to punching coz capoeira doesn't do much punching. LOL! But after a few tries and encouragement from Jack, I managed to do it =) Don't think I got all the postures right, but Jack said he will work on them with me more the next time.

From then on, we did some basic combos with the punches and kicks and I have to admit, it was super fun and a stress reliever too. Basically, I don't really get to think too much as I was concentrating on getting the combos & postures right, hitting the focus mat / sandbag at the right areas, and trying to do it with some speed. Then when I got those out of the way, it was fun to pretend that I'm punching those blues away! I probably looked like an idiot trying to punch my trainer, but bleh...I've learnt that being shy in training sessions makes you lose out on actually learning the techniques so I just went for it. And boy, was it satisfying when the session was over! I think I was a little high on the endorphin released after the workout (LOL!) that I went back on the treadmill to do another 15 mins of cardio...played around with the machine's functions and found one that is set for you to do walking or running in different settings! This one had a gradient thingy, which basically means the machine slopes up according to how many percentage that you set it and simulates walking up a hill I guess. Quite a cool thing too...but I didn't want to stress it too much, so I went on a beginner's setting. Managed to burn another 100 calories and a distance of about 1.1 km. =)

After that, I finally felt pooped...LOL! Went to take a hot shower and it was such a nice feeling, but I only felt the full effects of the workout when I reached home...thank goodness! My legs felt wobbly but I find that I like it...heh! My sis always tells me that I enjoy 'torture'..LOL! Maybe I am...but only for workouts, nothing else. LOL! Anyways, that was a thoroughly enjoyable session...I might just ask Jack if we could do that more often. It's a great variety to just doing machines or group classes; plus, I get to kick butt (in a way) *grins*

A day out in the gym

2011-08-02T23:35:00.003+08:00

'Twas the first time that I went to the gym without any sessions planned with my personal trainer. Felt a bit lost as I went in there without any purpose (so to speak). I thought of checking out some group classes, so I headed up to the studio area to check the schedules...I had a schedule given to me when I signed up, so I thought I'd join an RPM class (it said the class was supposed to start at 7.30pm), but to my dismay they changed the schedule and the earliest RPM class was at 8.30pm. o.O" Of course I didn't want to wait that long, so I went to the other studios....sad to see that they were already in session. Bleh.

Nevermind, I figured...there's always the machines to do cardio and I remembered some of the machines that Jack showed me during our first session. So, all gung ho I headed to a treadmill and started a 30-min walk / running session. Started out with a 5.5 km/h walk for a few minutes and then alternating that with a 10.0 km/h run. Gosh, I thought that I would have better stamina since I've been doing capoeira and all, but to keep a pace like that for 30 mins almost killed me. I first started out doing maybe a minute or two of the walk speed followed by about 2 mins of running....towards the end I think I ended up on the walking speed for maybe 3-4 mins and running only 2 mins. >.<" When the 30 mins was up, it felt great but I wish I could have done more....practice I guess. The total calories I burned (according to the machine) was a measly 200 calories (EEP!), but I walked / ran a distance of about 3.5km...yayy!

Next, I headed to do a bit of rowing on the machines....that was fun too. Did about 10 mins of it, and my arms felt slightly sore after (a good sign). I wanted to continue with some hamstring exercises but the floor was getting quite full and there weren't that many of those machines to go around. The other machines I didn't know how to use yet, so bleh...thought of calling it a day. 40 mins of cardio seems ok for a first time. I went to see the class schedule again to see if I could join a class tomorrow or something. To my delight, they have a class starting in 10 mins! "Bodybalance", it read....cool. I stepped in and saw the instructor setting up.

She asked me to grab two yoga mats and set it as per how she did it on the stage, and we were to do the class without our shoes. I thought, nice! I remember hearing that this class is about stretching and it incorporates Tai Chi, Yoga and Pilates...would be nice to get some stretching done on this tired body of mine. As a few more ladies entered the class (some more elderly), I thought it would be a nice and relaxing class since even the 'older ladies' can do it....how wrong was I!

The first 10-15 mins were exercises on warming up and I was having difficulty in following...slow as they may be, those yoga poses are not easy to replicate (at least for me!). LOL! But I learnt to sort of let go and just try my best to follow and wow, it was a great workout =) Those poses, although difficult, really do stretch your limbs and your spine. At some points it got a bit too intense for me as my muscles couldn't take it any more...LOLL! I just laid down for a few seconds and waited for the next move. And I think I sweated more than I did during cardio on the treadmill....amazing! As we moved to the end of the class, we laid on the mats and quieted ourselves as soothing meditation and relaxation music filled the room....it was such a relief and I can totally feel relaxed and refreshed as we let ourselves go with the music. Super super cool =)

All in all, a totally nice workout day...been feeling quite weird and unwell the past week, so to release all that energy out is really refreshing. I'm hankering to go and join the other classes. They all seem fun =) Sure, it probably wouldn't be as fun as my old classes (I think I'm missing them now) but it's something different and I'm feeling back the good pain...so for now, that will suffice. Crossing my fingers that this motivation will stick at least for a while...I need this =)

Happier things...

2011-07-31T23:04:00.002+08:00

Bleh.. after ranting out, it's kind of hard to go back and think of the good stuff, no? That saying is kind of true..."People will always remember that one bad thing that you did, even though you had done 10 good things prior to that one mistake."

I'm adamant though to blog about some good things that happened (somewhat) and after that incident...gives me something else to think about other than dwelling on the bad stuff =) My Bali trip was super AMAZING! I will need to organize the photos and blog about it ASAP, coz it was an unforgettable experience. I'm still missing that simple, idyll, yet fascinating island....will definitely want to go back again =) Didn't manage to go to the beach much this time around, but the tours around Bali were magnificent! Will blog more about that in my other blog, so stay tuned *wink*

Well, after the incident I was a bit disheartened and needed a break from the madness and all...but I had sort of lost a place where I could continue on my 'quest' to get back in shape. Luckily, a friend mentioned that she had recently joined a gym and was looking for a gym partner to go together. I jumped at it naturally, and so a few days ago I went with her to check out the gym.

We first met with her personal trainer, Jack. He was quite nice and did the physical assessment thing for me (which is customary for everybody who comes in to the gym for the first time). Didn't really know what to think as I've never done this before. He asked me to go on a machine that looked like a weighing scale with some weird handles and buttons. Got me to step on to it while holding on to the sensors and a few minutes later, voila! A report is printed out showing how healthy I was. They had things like "Body Fat Percentage", "Body Mass Index", and "Basal Metabolic Rate" written on it. I'm probably the worst skeptic ever, but I don't see how a machine can calculate the total body fat percentage of a person just by standing on to the scale and holding on to a couple of sensors! It's a bit hodge-podge to me, but meh...thought I'd give it a listen.

According to the report, my body fat percentage is a whopping 35%, which in their categorization, puts me in their 'Obese' section....o.O" The acceptable percentage is actually around 18-20% if I remember it correctly. Jack says that I would need to lose about 14kg of fat (OMG!) but it's not just about losing weight, but more on building and toning up the muscles and raising my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) - apparently that's the measurement of how much my body will burn calories when I'm doing minimal activity - to burn off more fat. Sounds fair, and I'm interested on how he plans to do it for someone like me.

On the other hand though, my Body Mass Index (BMI) is in the "Normal" category, which gave me a pleasant surprise. I haven't been weighing myself lately, and it was sweet to learn that I've lost about 10kg so far. YAYY! For this, I do have to thank L for her help. Although she hasn't been treating me as a friend, she has and will always be a great trainer. What an awesome feeling....now to continue to lose more of the fat, especially around the abs, arms and thighs! LOL!

So, long story short (I do tend to be babbling a lot these days!), I've signed up for a gym membership and some personal training sessions with Jack...yayy! So far, I've done two sessions with Jack and it was great. I didn't really feel much in the first session, probably coz he was assessing how much I could do and trying to go slow, but I mentioned to him that I could do more and I'm used to (somewhat) harder kind of training. And in the second session, he did push me harder with the exercises...which was great. The 'good' pain is back...kinda miss it coz I had been plateau-ing previously. Am looking forward to my next sessions and also joining the group classes to get more variety out of the workouts...=)

So there you have it....some of the happier things that have happened recently. I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that more happy things will come my way than sad ones. To quote a character from the series "Hellcats", "Positive outcomes only!!" *grins*

Nice-ness is Overrated

2011-07-29T19:04:00.004+08:00

Yes, it's true. I used to believe in the motto that we should "Do unto others the way we would want others to do unto us"....and boy, did I ever get screwed over! It is not just one time that my 'nice-ness' gets stomped upon. I used to brush it off and say to myself that things will be better...I'll be treated more nicely next time. But then it has gotten to the point that I myself am feeling that I'm being taken advantage of BECAUSE I'm so nice...*sigh*

Case in point: I have two friends whom I've considered my very good friends. Let's call them L & M. Although I've not known them for very long, but they were a big part of my life, especially when I was trying to get back in shape. They really helped in motivating me and making sure that I was on the right track. I was never really part of their 'circle', but I find that I enjoyed myself every time I get together with them so I end up trying very hard to fit into their circle...it's kind of like the little lost duckling who tries to join in with another group of ducklings that he found on his way. To cut the long story short, I was ecstatic when I was finally included into that 'circle'...or so I thought I was.

Things were hitting off really well, until they figured they wanted to start a business together. I never had any interest in the nature of the business that they were venturing into (and not having the money anyways), but I helped out in what ways I can...getting contacts for contractors, helping them out at their launch party, and of course I followed them as a client too. It was still cool for a while but then I started noticing that our friendship wasn't really what I thought it was...at first it was only the little things, and I let them go. But it all culminated down until that day.

I was asked to do 2 performances with them...I wasn't very good but I figured, okay since they asked I might as well try. So we practiced for it, but I was told to 'concentrate' on only one performance when I tried to ask L about some moves for the other performance. And that was it....I was just kicked out of a performance that I was asked to do. Strike one. I figured, it's okay...I was very stiff and not able to perform like they did, so I shall do just one performance. And we practiced more....until I went to Bali for a week (and probably missed like 2 practices). I came back all hyped up to practice, only to find that they had changed the performance to fit only 2 people. No prizes for guessing who were the 2 people that were going to perform. That day I spent the whole time doing basic movements while watching them practice for the performance. Never mind the fact that they never told me about the change, but they KICKED ME OUT of the group without informing me in person. I know I'll never be as good as they are, but I would expect the courtesy of being told in person that I am not in the group anymore. I mean, come on...they asked me to do it in the first place! And yet, all they did was shove me aside and used the time slot that I paid for as a client to do their routine! Strike two.

The best is yet to come....since I'm not 'performing' anymore, I was asked to 'help out' at the performances. One of it was at an event...long story short, I found out there was a fee to go to the event, and I kept asking M whether I need to pay to go there to help out as I was super broke at the time. No answer until the day before saying that they don't need my 'help' anymore and just asked me to help pick another instructor (let's call him J) up to a party that they will also be performing at. Let's bear in mind here that this particular party was the end of a 2-day event thingy that they all attended (& I didn't). I had to not only drive about 20 mins to J's place to pick him up, but also drive him down town to the club where the party is at...and I'm not familiar with the roads in the city. Oh well, figured I'd use handy Google Maps on my phone...

No such luck. We got lost, and ended up being late for the party (up to the point where L & M already finished their performance when we arrived). Needless to say, J was pissed while we were on the way and he stormed out of the car, out of the parking lot and into the club...where he proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the party. And me? I had to pay to get INTO the party, and stood there for a great 2 hours while everyone else had fun...chit chatting and dancing. Everyone else already knew each other from the 2-day event thingy, while I feel like a gate crasher. When the party was over, M asked me whether I'd like to join her for dinner...I agreed, and we went over to L's side to ask her. She mentioned that she wouldn't join us but talked to M to ask her to bring back the costumes as she brought it to the club previously. When M mentioned that their costumes are too heavy, L looked at me and proceeded to tell M, "you can use her to help you bring the costumes to your car..." Strike three.

The finale of the night was when I got a call from M telling me that she will be joining another group of friends for dinner and if I were to join them, I shouldn't wait for her at the meet up place that we agreed upon previously (I was already there at this point). I told her I was already there....and then she said something along the lines of "Oh...then how?" I told her then, it's okay...you guys go ahead, I'll just head home. And head home I did.

Call me overly sensitive or I read too much into things, but I thought friends wouldn't do that to each other. I guess I wasn't too much of a friend in their eyes. The thing that jolted me to my senses was when my sis told me (after I relayed this incident to her) that it is not all their fault....it was partly my fault too. I had been too nice to tell them off and allowed them to walk and trample all over me....and I realized, that is very true. Speaking with another mutual friend, she said, "yup, that sounds like them but you know...you're the nice one. Whatever shit people throw at you, you just take it in." Wow, that is a big wake up call for me, and I've started to realize that yes, I am too nice and soft-hearted.

It has gotten to the point where I'm noticing that even things like making decisions for lunch with my colleagues get overwritten so quickly because I tolerate and just 'go with the flow' (Colleague A: Where do you want to have lunch later? Auds: Let's go to place A. Colleague A: Nah, it's not something that I want to eat...let's go to place B. Auds: *is a little pissed...why ask me when you want to go there in the first place??* Oh, okay) Heck, at some points of conversation, I remember being mocked ever so sweetly by my colleague that I don't have a backbone because I'm just following whatever the majority calls for, or I don't have the guts to stand up for myself...

So now, I have a new motto..."Do whatever you can to help others, but never expect ANYBODY to ever do the same thing for you". I don't know if I'll ever kick the habit of being too nice to people, or if I'll be able to stand up for myself anytime soon...but I know this, it's time that I take care of myself first and foremost because nobody else gives a hoot. Sounds jaded I know, but then...that's life right?

And I'm Back On The Saddle!

2011-07-07T17:44:00.004+08:00

I'm having a little bit of free time at the moment so I'm taking this opportunity to blog as much as I can before I lose my 'momentum'...*grins* It's awesome to start writing and put my thoughts onto 'paper' again!

Okay, I mentioned before that I probably will not change my iPhone anytime soon....well, circumstances arose (which is a very, VERY long and complicated story) and I find myself selling off my iPhone and topping up a little bit more to get myself the iPhone 4. Whee!! *grins*

I do believe that the iPhone 4 is a step up from the previous generation though...the HD screen itself is AMAZING! Love that everything looks sharper and details are infinitely clearer, especially when browsing through photos and watching videos =) Before I run away with some more gushes, I'm posting (again) photos of my phone as a reminder (I think this should be a tradition...LOL!)

Simple lily background...<3 *grins*

This is what the back of my phone looks like now...<3 <3 I splurged and
bought a pretty bling iPhone case!

I still maintained Scottie's photo as my lockscreen wallpaper, so not everything has changed...heh! But I DO love the camera on the iPhone 4. With 5 megapixels now, it's great to take photos to be posted on the web! I use it almost all the time now...heck, even more than my digital camera! I think it's coz it's so convenient to just whip out the phone and take a photo...after that, I can just upload that to my Facebook page instead of having to connect the camera to the PC, editing the photos and what not. Yeah, I'm getting lazy I know, but sometimes if the photos don't need retouching or editing, it's a great plus to be able to upload it fast!

Case in point on how nice the camera is: I took these photos with my iPhone camera after baking these tarts. Yup, I think the baking bug has bitten me again, and I'm back to therapeutic baking *grins* LOVE the results, and the recipes are AWESOME!

Strawberry Cream Cheese Tart...I heart the drizzled chocolate, even though my drizzling needs work!

Okay, this one I edited but the photos used here are from the iPhone! This tart is a fresh fruit tart with vanilla pastry cream...biggest success so far!! The colors are so pretty :)

Also used my phone a lot when I was in Penang! Yeah, I took a 5-day trip to Penang when my good friend invited me to her place...it was a SPLENDID trip! Initially I wanted to blog about it in a separate post, but it was kind of a long time ago (almost 1 month ago now! >.<") that I don't think I'll do it justice as I don't remember much details now. So, I shall post a slideshow on the trip here. All the photos here are taken using the iPhone...I have some from my camera too, but yeah...too lazy to edit. LOL!

If you notice, most of my photos are about food...hehehe! Well, that's coz S (my good friend) had promised to bring me on a gastronomic journey through Penang =) And bring me she did! We visited SOOO many places to eat...and STILL can't cover all the places that she wanted to bring me! How did I manage to finish all those yummy foods? I didn't *wink* Thank goodness for a strong will (I keep thinking "Beach body, beach body!!" to keep myself from eating too much) and great company. We shared a lot of the food instead of ordering a plate for each person...that way, we get to savour the yummy food as well as cover much more places in a day. AND best of all, I didn't gain weight after the trip (which I thought I would considering the amount of food I've partaken!)

Speaking of beach bodies, I'm heading off to another place for a getaway...really REALLY excited to go coz the tickets have been bought WAY last year! And also because I needed a break from all the craziness in my life. LOL! I'm heading to BALI, the land of sun, sea, sand, spa, and a whole lot of things there...YAYY! Going there with my Mom and sis, so it'll be a girls trip. *grins* Yes, I'm working on a beach body so that I don't look so weird standing next to my gorgeous sister....working out more, eating healthier and trying to lose as much fat as possible before the trip. So far, so good but still a long way to go on my long term goal...still, I'm pretty happy with the results. Here's to hoping I'll be able to fit into a bikini (??!!) when I get there, and hopefully be mindful enough to take photos of my trip to be shared. Heh!

Of Weddings and Comparisons...

2011-07-06T13:52:00.001+08:00

Whew, it has been a hectic few weeks...work, events, etc. Got loads to share but I'll start with the earliest ones I remember :)

The past month I had attended two weddings, and they were both as different as night and day. Don't get me wrong...both of them were beautiful ceremonies, but I can't help noticing the differences between them; one is a somewhat traditional Chinese wedding dinner, and the other a beautiful Catholic church wedding ceremony & luncheon. Wish I had photos to show, but I didn't bring my camera for both occasions...not really a bad thing I guess, coz I get to enjoy the events to the fullest instead of being busy just taking photos =)

The first wedding I attended was my colleague's...held in a Chinese restaurant, it was a quite a big affair with (I think) about 30 tables or more. The usual 8-course meal is served with everybody chatting happily all around. Then came the speeches from the friends of the bride and groom, parents and one gets to witness how everyone is so happy for the couple. The 'toast' to the couple consists of several long "Yum Seng" cheers and much laughter as some tables try to outdo each other. And as the couple goes around the room to toast each table, I was sitting there watching the video footage of their tea ceremony...so cute to watch the groom and his posse being 'teased' (that's a gross understatement! LOL!) by the bride's 'ji muis' before being allowed to see the bride; the tea ceremony to the respective relatives and all. I've been to quite a few weddings like this myself, but watching the video that day it somehow feels more fun. LOL! Dunno...maybe it's the atmosphere. Everyone is so merry and cheerful, it rubs off on you I guess =)

The other wedding I attended was an ex-colleague and good friend of mine. Me, being the ever blur person got lost on the way to the church! But arrive I did, and was blown away by the splendor of the church building. I reached JUST in time to see her walking to the entrance of the church and subsequently down the aisle...she was GORGEOUS! I still remember reveling at the beautiful stained glass windows, ("stained glass" sounds so crude for something so pretty though) and the structure of the building as I walk in to take my seat in the crowd. Wow! I've never been inside a Catholic church in person, so to see everything up close is amazing. As the ceremony proceeds, it is quite enlightening to see how a wedding ceremony is conducted in the Catholic faith. For one, I am very surprised that everything is rather solemn and seems 'rigid' (everything is written out in the program booklet...down to the wedding vows and what the congregation should say in the ceremony) but in the midst of the rigidity, there is something majestic about it. Somehow, you feel tranquil and at peace, which I really needed at the time. Sitting there, I'm reminded of the stories a friend told me about the Catholic faith and how it sort of 'came to life' for me when I witness the communion ceremony...lovely =)

No, I have no plans of getting married if that is what's implied here...LOL! But it's always great to be able to be part of that special day for the happy couple. Even with 2 totally different cultures and religion, the theme is still the same...happiness and joy! Will I ever get married? (I seem to get asked this a lot these days...signs of getting old! >.<") I honestly can't give an answer to that. To quote a line from 'Pride and Prejudice', "I'm 27, with no prospects and no connections..." would anyone want me? Do I wait for my "Mr. Right" or just go with whoever who seems to show any interest? That is for me to find out I guess. LOL!

Melancholy...

2011-05-29T11:16:00.001+08:00

Don't know why....I feel strangely sad today, and the urge to just blog is here. Sitting here in the office alone gives a whole new perspective to that word. I don't know...probably I'm spending too much time thinking that I'm lonely and I miss the companionship of friends and what not. Need to snap out of it! *smacks self*

Strangely enough, I am slowly getting back to things that I normally would do before the whole crazy 'ups and downs' phase...things like reading, listening to music that I love, even spending time with Scottie made me realize I've missed those things so much and I really enjoy it. I'm resolved now that things will fall back into place eventually. Normalcy sounds really good at the moment...:)

On another note, I've been looking back at the stuff I have on my Facebook and I read back a note that I've posted previously. It really hit home when I've finished, so I thought I'd post it again as a reminder to myself to always strive to be better.

Randy Pausch, 47 yrs old, is a computer Sc. lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The Last Lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…

In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "Guide To A Better Life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1.    Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2.    Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3.    Don't over do; keep your limits
4.    Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6.    Dream more while you are awake
7.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8.    Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.    Smile and laugh more
14.    You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15.    Call your family often
16.    Each day give something good to others
17.    Forgive everyone for everything
18.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.    Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.    What other people think of you is none of your business
21.    Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22.    Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.    GOD heals everything
24.    Do the right things
25.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.    The best is yet to come
28.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.    If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

C'est La Vie...Again

2011-05-28T15:32:00.003+08:00

Wow, it really has been ages since I've updated...*cleans dust off blog*

Gosh, where do I begin? It has certainly been a roller coaster ride since my last post...lots of really highs as well as lows, but that's life now, isn't it? Even though there are things that made me sad, there are also many MANY moments where I'm so grateful for what I have. Really heart the saying that we take in the good with the bad. Without the bad things, we wouldn't really learn or be thankful for the great things that happen, no?

Can't really think of what to write at the moment...guess this is what happens when we go into 'hiatus' for such a long time. But somehow, sitting here at my grandfather's place and reminiscing about the experiences that I had the past few months just makes me feel like getting off my butt and at least write something. Yes, I'm alive and well...how's that for starters? LOL!

Work has been ok....pressuring sometimes but certainly bearable. A wise friend said to me, "Think about the money you're getting" and somehow it does help. LOL! Yeah, materialistic I know but if I can't get the job that I like, might as well stick with a good-paying job no? *wink*

Let's see...what else? I've lost some weight...YAYY! Classes in Samba, Afro-Brazilian dance, Body Sculpt and Capoeira have paid off *grins* Still long way to go but it's really great to to know that I'm slowly getting there :) Love that I can now fit into clothes that I couldn't before...really scary to think that I've let myself get so unhealthy that I couldn't fit into the biggest sized clothes before. Am deeply thankful to my instructor, Lilica for always pushing and encouraging us to go the extra few reps (even though we're already screaming and cursing her silently in our heads while enduring the exercises!) every. Single. Time. I might be 'hating' the pain at that particular moment, but I know it's a good kind of pain :)

Ah ok...enough of the gushing and what not. Here's to more posts in the future. I will need to be more disciplined and spend at least some time to blog more. I kind of miss this actually...:)

How Apt Is My Blog Name!

2010-10-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

Never have I been more accurate about my feelings as of now until I saw the blog title..Simplicity is bliss, simplicity is awesome, and how I LONG for some simplicity in my life right now! Heck, I sometimes feel like Scottie has a much better life than me..>.<"

I know, I don't post anything for ages and then all of sudden...BAM! One whining, ranting post after another...thing is, I kind of feel this is my only outlet for my rants. It's a good way to let it all out without having someone interrupting my thoughts...I can just let it all out and let it go. Some day. Ha!

I've always thought that I pick up things (relatively) fast. Learning is kind of interesting, especially when you have enough material to go on. It's something that I tell potential employers during interviews and all....only to realize that I am actually really slow and dumb; incapable of handling even the simplest kinds of system flow.

Maybe I'm just too used to the environment that I was in previously. People are very nice and helpful; they don't skimp on their knowledge sharing and there's always documentation to fall on if everybody is busy and no one is free to help you out. I guess I expected that to be the same in this new environment. Boy, did I ever get a culture shock! I think I've been here for about 2-3 weeks, and I feel like it's up over my head in learning what I need to do here. For one, people here although are quite nice don't really warm up to you...or maybe I am just freaking myself out. I always get the feeling that everybody here has violent mood swings. Then, there's the so-called 'training'....apparently I'm expected to know stuff by just playing around with the system! Great, only thing is...I don't know what the heck that it does! Sure, they do give some explanations here and there, but it's never detailed enough to help you understand...so, I try it out on the system. Playing around doesn't help because I have no idea what happened even after I pushed the buttons! And they expect me to know where the freaking files are kept/extracted, what tables and fields in the database are updated, etc etc!

Fine, I thought I'd ask for some documentation to read up on the concepts...at least that would give me some idea, no? Not only was there no proper documentation, but whatever documentation existed, they were OUTDATED. How the heck am I supposed to do any testing on the new system when I only have knowledge of the old system?! And so, I went around asking....the more I asked, the more the faces seem to change and look irritated. And when they 'explain' it's so bloody vague I got more confused....and then they say that after 'explaining so many times' I still don't know what the system does. *sigh*

Do you ever get that feeling that some things are just not that complicated, if only you had a little bit more information, or that someone could point you in the right direction? Doesn't it get friggin' frustrating when people push and shove you in different directions expecting you to feel your way out and coming through the same exit they did? I am feeling exactly that right now...and dreading each day because I have no idea what is going to be thrown at me, and if I'll be able to swim in this pool of sharks just waiting to pounce and eat me alive.

I remember talking to an ex-colleague and she said that I shouldn't worry so much about the new environment...there's the 'honeymoon period' where everybody cuts you slack and lets you learn your way through. If only she could see me now! I seriously don't know what I'm doing and if I am cut out to do this...maybe I've overestimated my abilities. Just because I'm able to handle some smaller projects, doesn't mean I can handle such a big system right? Will I hit a wall sooner or later, or will I finally get what they're trying to 'explain'? I was told by another (new) colleague that it will take me months to know what the heck is it that they're doing....but it seems like they're expecting me to know everything by the end of this month. A gross overestimation of the supervisors on my so-called 'fast learning skills', or maybe I've sold myself too strongly?? Great....I'm so dead.

The End Is The Beginning Is The End

2010-09-08T16:09:00.000+08:00

I find myself liking that title very much...even though I've never heard the song before. Wanted something that would sort of summarize what this post is about, and even when I tried playing around with the words, it didn't sound right until I Googled and voila! Google was and will always be my best friend...aside from Scottie ;)

Anyways, long story short...I have finally found a new 'path' for my career, if I can say what I'm doing now is a career! I have handed in my notice, and all seems to be smooth sailing without any fuss to my surprise. I have expected something very bad seeing some of my colleagues had to endure some very harsh comments and what not during their last few days in the company, but it hasn't happen. Yet. Yeah, it's probably bad of me to think the worse of my bosses, but I guess it's some sort of a blessing in disguise. MAYBE I could leave on (sort of) good terms with the company....or it could be that I'm insignificant enough to warrant a bashing from the big guns for leaving (which is a good thing too, IMO). LOL!

Anyways, I still have about a week or so before I finish my tenure at my current company and I have a short period of break before I venture into 'new territory', so to speak. Hopefully it will be a good experience...keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best :) But I will definitely be missing all the good camaraderie with the colleagues and all...we'll still keep in touch, I hope!

Feel so bad for not updating my blogs more often...Scottie's has been collecting dust! >.<" And my baking has taken a back seat too...what's gotten in to me??! The only other thing that's gotten me a bit excited is the fitness / dance / workout program that I'm considering to join...I realized that everybody in the new office are pretty and slim. *sigh* Sucker for conformation I know, but I also realized I've been ballooning in weight so much recently it's scaring me. Need to push and force myself to get some form of exercise so I don't keep putting on weight. I wondered though...if I push hard enough, might I even lose some weight? I dare not keep my hopes that high just yet...who knows, I might back out at the last minute. Eep!

Hypocrisy Part Deux

2010-06-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

Maybe I'm being too cynical in my life or something, but these days I keep seeing contradicting stuff that just makes me feel so....so....cheated (for a lack of a better word).

Just yesterday, Sis brought back a magazine (you know, those 'Health & Beauty' type magazines all filled with photos of models in extravagant clothes that we can never afford, and tonnes of advertisements for beauty products that don't really ever work?) after her shopping spree and being the 'snob' that I am, I flipped through the pages. The first thing that caught my eye was this huge title on the cover saying "Keep your curves and lose an average of 1kg a week" or something to that extent. That in itself got me thinking, "Why in the world would you promote curviness in a woman and YET get people to lose weight? A little bit contradicting, don't you think?"

Still, curiosity got the best of this cat (and you know where that leads to!); I flipped to the article hoping to see that there are some ladies who are slightly bigger than normal women, and what did they do to be a little bit more in shape & healthier. Guess what I saw? Pretty women who were not in the least curvy to warrant that term! For one, they look kind of short, and these petite women are FAR from being called fat! Sure, they tried to make them look fat by putting terms like "Whole Body Mass", "Muscle Mass", "Fat Mass", and "Body Age", but nobody really understands it that much! And to make it worse, these ladies don't even hit the weight ABOVE 60kg! Oh, let's not ignore the fact that they ALSO added a little note about their "Ideal Weight"...and all of them were actually UNDERWEIGHT!!! What. The. Eff. Right???

Here they go promoting 'curves' (more like skin & bones to me) and then getting them ladies to lose weight when they're already grossly underweight (case in point: there's this lady who is only 47.7kg and her ideal weight was 60.6kg. After 3 weeks of 'healthy' eating and exercising, she became a waif thin 46.9kg. Go figure)! To think they would have the audacity to put it out in print...and distribute it to women all around the world! (This particular magazine has franchises all over the world....dare I say it? The name starts with a "C" and is similar to that famous Egyptian queen, Cleopatra)

Sure, I get it that in order to lose weight properly and all, healthy eating and exercise are important. They did give some great ideas on how to eat healthy, but to use underweight ladies as examples just screams hypocrisy! And damnit, I'm feeling quite pissed...or maybe it's the hormones. Or maybe I'm just unsatisfied with the way I am. Blah.

Food, Glorious Food!

2010-06-23T14:35:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm not a good cook like lots of other food bloggers out there, but it just so happened that these few recipes that I've tried out turned out rather good for me (& yummy too, I might add!), so I'm posting it here again as a reminder that cooking is fun (well, the process is sometimes not, but the finished product and the tasting afterwards is!) and I should look for more recipes to try out rather than just sit and wallow at home...hey, at least there's some comfort food to eat right? ;) These are photos already in my FB page, but since I'm bored and all...might as well talk more about it here. Heh!

'Twas the first weekend that Mom, Sis & Rachel were away in Korea, so I tried the Lime-Cilantro Rice (recipe here)served with Bacon-Wrapped Teriyaki Chicken Skewers (recipe here) and Caramelized Green Beans (recipe here). Wash it down with Brazillian Lemonade (recipe here)

The bacon-wrapped chicken were definitely flavourful, but in my haste to wrap them up quickly some of the chicken were not wrapped as tightly as I'd like and in the process of grilling (on the awesome grill pan that my Dad bought! YAYY!) fell off the skewers. LOL! Still, since we served it with the rice the chicken were taken off anyways so all's good :) Botched the rice by adding a bit too much water so they were a bit soggy, but the lime juice covered it up a little...heh!

Had been browsing some other food blogs the other day and found The Pioneer Woman. OMG, that lady is super! Not only does she cooks, but she writes, homeschools, and takes GORGEOUS photos (with her DSLR! Darn..makes me want to get one too!)...all at her ranch in Oklahoma! Now is that a formidable woman, or is that a FORMIDABLE woman? :P

Anyhoots, her index of recipes were super AWESOME and looked so delicious I felt I had to try the recipes. This was the first one I did: Spicy Roasted Chicken Legs (recipe here)with my own version of mac & cheese (I sort of 'mix & matched' PW's recipe with this one) and some blanched broccoli to even out all the meat& carbs...LOL! The chicken was great...I tried to thicken the drippings from the pan to try and make some 'gravy' to go with it (my Dad HAS to have some gravy!) but it didn't turn out like I'd hoped...still, I'll still make this easy peasy recipe again if I'm bored and wanted something to do for lunch! Heh!

This was my version of PW's Coffee Cake (recipe here)...made it last week for Father's Day, since Dad is an avid coffee drinker (don't know if I'd used the word 'avid' correctly, but it sounded okay, so meh...LOL!) I thought it would do very nicely! And thankfully, it did! I was very hesitant about frosting the cake since the first few times I ever frosted any cake turned out to be complete disasters! But thanks to the great buttercream frosting, it was VERY spreadable and easy to work with so at least this time around I didn't botch it too much...YAYY!

Dad loved the cake, so kudos to the great recipe! I liked it too, even though I'm no coffee drinker...the coffee taste was good, although it left a little bit of a bitter aftertaste (I think due to the coffee flecks in the frosting) but it's dense and not too sweet...that I think was because I reduced the sugar content A LOT! Coming from a family history of diabetics (my Mom is one, and my Dad has a family history...so I have a very high chance of getting it) I was always told that high amounts of sugar = EVIL, and I can't tolerate too sweet of a dessert myself so I ALWAYS reduce sugar when I bake...some might not like it, but the cakes and all turn out to be in my tolerated 'range', so it's still good IMO. LOL!

This was on Sunday...to celebrate Kenji's birthday, Father's Day and to welcome Mom, Sis & Rachel home I promised to make dinner. And it took me a whole day to do it, but it's SOOO worth it! The cake was from the day before (that coffee cake above), but the rest were made on Sunday: Meat Cake Pops for the furkids (my own 'idea' of a Cake Pop for them...surprisingly, it turned out quite well! YAYY!); Cajun Chicken Pasta (recipe here)- I made this with shrimp instead of chicken though; Hot & SweetDrumsticks (recipe here); some blanched vegetables & Brazilian Lemonade again.

Pasta was good! I was a bit too spice happy with the Cayenne pepper, and added just a wee bit too much so it was quite spicy. Thank goodness my family has a high tolerance for spiciness (unlike me!) and they said it wasn't that spicy. In fact, Mom said it was good...high praise coming from a woman who doesn't really like pasta, especially creamy ones! She said the spiciness 'covered' the cream taste which she can take :) Elder Sis wanted more cream to the pasta since she's a huge fan of carbonara...LOL! Oh well, if I ever make this again, I'll try to strike out a balance :P Chicken was good too, but when it was cooking, they were swimming in not just the sauce, but the chicken drippings too! I felt the sauce was a bit too watery for my liking, so I took the chicken out and thickened the sauce...tasted better, but I think next time I wouldn't cook the sauce first before adding to the chicken. Instead, maybe letting it cook together with the chicken might be just the trick to getting the sauce just nice like PW's version :)

Due to my enthusiasm in getting the correct ingredients, I ended up with lots of stuff that we wouldn't normally use in Chinese cooking...so, I'm gearing up for another round of cooking this week (hopefully! *crosses fingers*) I still have quite a bit of buttermilk left...very pricey for Malaysia, so I didn't want to waste it. I went searching at PW's site and found recipes like Orange Mini Muffins with Brown Sugar Glaze & Homemade Chicken Strips which will use up the buttermilk quite nicely! I'm hankering to try that, and maybe this Coconut and Lemon Loaf recipe too to finish off my very nice (& quite pricey) shredded Hawaiian coconut that I got some time ago....who knew that we can only get shredded HAWAIIAN coconut when in Malaysia, we have an abundance of coconut trees?! Unfortunately the only kind of 'shredded' coconut that we have are dessicated, which are dry and too small for some of the coconut recipes that I found...hence the extra forking of moolah for coconut. Sad >.<"

The Hardest Job Ever...

2010-06-13T01:02:00.002+08:00

As I sit here typing this, it's been my first real 'break' from the (almost) non-stop work I've been doing since 9am today. What kind of work is it? HOUSEWORK! And I've not done half of the things I'm supposed to do...o.O"

Being the weekend and all, I was very enthusiastic about some more projects that I could try out...started at 9 with cinnamon rolls (recipe here) which were done in about 2 hours (including baking), which turned out to be the fugliest cinnamon rolls in the world due to my noob skills! Oh well, it was good though...recipe was great; it's the person that needs work. LOL! Then it was on to baked fish sticks and heating up some packed food from Y...with lots of washing and cleaning up in between. After that, getting the house to look slightly NOT messy so that when P arrives for lunch, he wouldn't get put off. Didn't work out coz he was early as usual....LOL! Still, lunch was okay...=) Had fun talking about dogs and their antics =)

After that, cleaned up and washed the dishes, cleaned up doggies' messes and put the clothes out to dry....only to realize it was going to be dinner time! Still wanting to try again a similar recipe, I attempted the cheesy garlic bread swirls (recipe here) to go with Campbell's mushroom soup (yes, from the can...I'm not THAT good yet! LOL!). Realizing Dad needs just a bit more food than me, quickly stirred up some sausages, eggs and beans just in case...=) Cleaned up, washed the dishes (yet again) and then on to doing the laundry. Whilst doing that, realized Dad's clothes for work have run out, so did some ironing for him (and some of my work clothes) too....phew! Just typing this out made me exhausted >.<"

As I look back upon the amount of work I had to do (and the amount that I HAVEN'T done, like cleaning the floors and the car!!), I really admire the women who stayed at home to be full-time housewives and mothers...some even without the help of maids! It's really amazing to see these formidable women keeping the house spotless and at the same time ensure that everybody in the family is well fed, make sure the house supplies are sufficient, remember every bill deadline, chauffeuring the kids the school, and the list goes on and on...o.O"

At the same time, I also kind of understood also how my Mom felt doing all the work; why she would be extra grumpy during the weekends (coz we sit around doing nothing...but at the same time, weekends are the only times we get to sit and do nothing because we've been working during the weekdays! Oh, the irony!) and why she would actually snap at you when the the only sentences that come out from your mouth are, "Is dinner ready?" or "Have you boiled water yet?" or "Hey, the clothes have not been washed yet...you'd better wash it coz there are so many already piled up!". Let's not mention the monotony of doing the same thing over and over and over again in the course of the day for so many years...o.O"

Seriously, it's scary thinking about it! There's ALWAYS something that needs to be done, and just when you've finished one thing you realize that there's something else that needs to be done! Or when you're in the midst of doing something, you see something else that's related to what you're doing, so you might as well finish that too right? o.O" Or maybe it's just me...LOL! All those years of drilling from my Mom when I was still studying and helping her out with the chores, I get kind of 'extreme' in a way....things has to be done a certain way, or if I get it done, it has to be done rather quickly. It's just freaky to think that after all the work you've done (and you feel quite proud that you've accomplished that with a rather sore back to prove it!), you realize also that there's so MUCH more that haven't been done, and it's already been one whole day! O.O"

All I can say is, if I ever get my own home some day I will make sure I will get help (be it part-time or full-time....hmm, maybe part-time is better) because there's no way I'll be able to juggle a full-time job and coming home to do all the housework. I still remember there's this quote from a character in "Pride & Prejudice" (starring Keira Knightley) about how "it's SUCH a joy running my own home!" OMG...just saying it out loud already got me horrified. >.<" I guess I will never be that kind of a woman...oh yes, which reminds me that tomorrow (or rather in the evening today!) I will be trying out a whole dinner for Dad, Vivian and her bf...eep! What have I gotten myself into??

C'est La Vie....Et La Cuisine

2010-05-13T15:26:00.000+08:00

I've often wondered why life is so unfair...I mean, who doesn't right? Why is it that I never get what my sisters get, why is it that everyone else seems so better off compared to me, why why why....so many questions, until friends and family tell me: C'est La Vie (That's Life). Be thankful with what you have and just move on. Good things will come your way soon; and if all else fails, think about so many other people who don't have what I have right now...

I guess I'm at that place again where I don't know who I am or what am I here for, etc etc. Even after thinking about it long enough (does thinking until your head hurts count as long enough?), I STILL have no idea what I'm good at...work-wise or even just in life. "Good" to me isn't just about knowing how to do certain things...it's about having that passion, that sparkle that comes to the person's eyes when he/she talks about it, or the way a person just lights up when the subject creeps up. I somehow fail to find that 'thing'...and it's kind of disappointing in a way. I really admire the people who just KNOWS what they want in their lives; that they're meant to be that type of person and just bulldozing ahead with their goals. I don't know...perhaps I've been dozing too much or something. I keep feeling that there's something not quite right with me, but I can't exactly pin point what. Maybe it's a myriad of things...or maybe I'm just not confident with who I am right now. C'est La Vie, no? We make do with what we have? I've always thought I'd do something different with my life...what exactly, I don't know! But there's always this naggy gut feeling that it should be something else...*sigh*

I know I have to quit whining and buck up...and yet everytime I psyche myself up to do it, always at the last minute, I chicken out. >.<" Maybe I need to see a therapist or something...right now, I just know it feels shitty to be me. And yet, whenever I go home, to see Scottie's happy face and ecstatic 'screaming' that I'm home is just awesome...LOL! To know that someone (even if it's just a dog) is just happy that you're around...wow.

Oh well, I need to stop crying....otherwise people will think I'm crazy. LOL! I shall post more happy memories from now on...which shall be about cooking. LOLL! Yes, just like Kung Fu Panda, I eat when I'm upset or when I'm happy. Food's always a comfort..even though I'm ballooning up like crazy. >.<" Following recipes always is fun to me...the best thing ever would be when what I make actually turns out to be like it should be! (Or at least, ALMOST where it should be is good enough!) This was what I did the past few days when I was self-quarantined after Rachel was confirmed with H1N1 (hey, people have to eat also...even when they're sick! *wink*):

Spicy Honey Chicken (recipe here). Didn't have a proper grill, so I used those BBQ pans that we use in Korean BBQs...haha! Turns out my Mom had a set like that, so I just tried it =) Served it atop a salad with some Honey-Citrus Vinaigrette (recipe here) and also some Lime Cilantro Rice With Pineapple (recipe here). Man, looking back at it, I forgot to plate it all nicely to take a photo! Just remembered the chicken when it was done...*smacks head* Anyways, the chicken was AWESOME with the dry rub...but I think it will taste even better with a proper grill. Anyone up for a barbecue? *grins*

Old-Fashioned BBQ Chicken Legs (recipe here). Yeah, notice the grilling 'frenzy' here...LOL! This time around Mom volunteered her little charcoal 'stove' (the traditional ones that the Chinese use to boil medicine). We recycled our microwave grill stand for the grill atop the 'stove', and with a pair of super long chopsticks and lots of trial, error and loads of smoke (long and hilarious story), I managed to finally grill these bad boys. LOL! The sauce was awesome, and we paired it with the salad from the day before (bought so much previously!) and some canned corn (I forgot to get some from the market...otherwise, it would have been roasted corn on the cob. Yum!)

Dinner on Tuesday...Mom was feeling lazy, so we had burgers. Pineapple Bacon Burgers to be exact...heh! Recipe is here, but I didn't use home made burgers like in the recipe...we just used whatever burgers we had (chicken in our case), grilled those with the bacon and pineapple (on the Korean BBQ pan thingy) and served it with some tomatoes and home made BBQ sauce (the same recipe we used for the BBQ chickens). What can I say...YUM!

Feels kind of good to be talking about food...at least the shitty feelings have subsided. For now. I should cook more often...maybe I should do a Julie Powell and cook through a whole cookbook!

Apple & Bluebery Crumble Cake

2010-04-21T12:41:00.001+08:00

Baking seems to help a little bit in taking my mind off crazy stuff...although almost always I don't feel like eating whatever I've done, but the process of following the recipe's steps and seeing that my result is (somewhat) same as the original recipe gives me great satisfaction =) Hate the cleaning up afterwards, but it's another way to take my mind off stuff. So, here's my latest endeavor with baking:

Apple & Blueberry Crumble Cake...fresh from the oven (recipe from here). It was such an interesting combination that I thought I had to try...I've always loved apple crumble, but haven't got it right, and this one is a mix of both cake AND crumble! Oh, the smell that came from it whilst baking! Cinnamon, blueberry and apple = awesome.

After removing the springform and lining...I think I removed it too fast (while it was still rather hot) being the impatient person that I am...the crumble layer was almost falling off >.<" I realised that the pan might just play an important role in making the cake work. Me not having a square pan like in the recipe resorted to the circle cheesecake pan. It turned out great, only the middle part of the cake was higher than the rest, and the apple & blueberry layers were rather uneven (or maybe it's just me and my amateur skills in layering the cake...LOL!). Shall try this with square pan next *grins*

A slice of it....as you can see, the cake layer is too high. LOL! But I still loved the texture of it. Soft yet springy too. Who knew that sour cream in cake works so well? Mom loved the cake, but sisters loved the crumble...LOL!!

…And It All Comes Tumbling Down

2010-04-19T19:48:00.002+08:00

I guess this is what happens when you expect so much from something and putting too much hope. Yup, you've guessed right. I didn't get it. Like a friend said before, I need to manage my expectations. The more one expects something, the harder it will be to take that one has failed later. I feel shitty now, so I guess that saying's true. *sigh*

Well, back to more job-hunting I guess.

The Most Gruelling Day Of My Life (So Far)

2010-04-16T17:11:00.003+08:00

Whew, seems like I can only find time to do this two days after.. >.<" Wednesday, 14th April 2010 will be a day that I'll remember for a long time because of this experience. It's an eye-opener and infinitely interesting, but I doubt that I would go through it all over again in the near future...LOL!

It's the assessment center from a well-renowned company (which I shall not name in case I jinx myself!) that I had previously applied for. Going through their online tests were extremely difficult, but I was glad that I managed to get through them all! *grins* Sadly, I was not one of the lucky 6 who were chosen for the assessment center for that traineeship position. And I was so banking on it! >.<" But a couple of days later, I got a call from them again, offering me a chance to apply for another position, after being shortlisted from that pool of candidates. I was told that there were an approximate number of 1610 candidates who applied (for the traineeship position), and I was one of the 6 chosen for this other position after they shortlisted further! Stoked as I was (it's not every day I get a call saying that I stood out enough...especially after that disastrous interview thingamajig in Penang), I also knew the stakes were high, as 6 of us were only vying for maybe 2-3 spots.

The day started early (8.30am) but I woke up at about 6.30am, bustling about to get dressed and prepared for the day...reached the hotel in record time (there wasn't even a traffic jam, can you imagine?) and had an early breakfast, although I can barely finish my roti canai, yummy as it was...yup, I was that nervous. Went into the hotel to freshen up, said a quick prayer and headed up to the suite of rooms.

And so, the day begins. It was definitely a LONG LONG day, but the agenda was pretty simple. There was an introduction of the company, followed by a speech from the Managing Director of the company and a sharing session from an employee who went through the same process that we did last year. It was one of my favourite sessions of the day, listening to her enthusiasm and passion for the work that she does, as well as the enjoyment that she gets from it...all the things that I so crave for! I prayed and prayed harder that I would be good enough to get picked. Next were our assessment exercises, which consisted of a group discussion, individual presentations, and a personal interview with the assessors. Simple isn't it?

Even though the tasks seem pretty basic, but it was definitely mentally draining...especially for me, who haven't experienced this kind of interview before. Havign to analyse business situations and providing 'suggestions' and being given only one and a half hours to prepare for a 15 minute presentation is so nerve-wracking! Not to mention that the competition were stiff. We all never got to observe each other during our individual sessions, but I could definitely tell during the group session that they were very worthy and formidable guys and girl (can you believe it was just me and another girl? The rest of the 4 were guys! >.<") and I had to step up my 'game'. All that, and the knowledge that you were being assessed by the regional managers and directors of the company all the time got me panicky and feeling like I could throw up at any time...which is a shame, because the food served by the hotel during lunch and during our breaks looked super delicious! I just didn't have the stomach to take it...*sigh*

I definitely breathed a big sigh of relief after all my tasks were done, but kicked myself hard for not doing better in my presentation task. >.<" It wasn't as if I haven't done any presentations before, but I guess most of the presentations I had to do were more like reports rather than presentations to persuade or negotiate with a client. And so, would you believe it...the most important presentation of my life so far was blown away by me freezing halfway through the task!!!!! >.<" I did manage to finish it in the end, but I also knew that I stuttered and stammered like crazy during the whole ordeal (who knew if the assessors understood what I was trying to say??!), and let's not mention me forgetting what I wrote down in my notes and messing up my points....*sighhhh*

Oh well, what's done is done I guess....all I can do now is wait for the results and fervently hope for the best. *crosses fingers hard* A good friend told me that he feels I will get the job....if it really does happen, I will definitely treat him to dinner! *grins* They said to expect a call by Monday...so, I'm really hoping the phone rings on Monday with super good news...I want that job!

Dear Ms. So-and-so,

2010-03-29T00:11:00.003+08:00

First of all, thank you very much for seeing me on Friday in the 'sharing' session between your organization and myself. After that session, I have given it much thought and contemplation on what was being shared, and in line with the concept of 'family' and being open to ideas and opinions, allow me to share a few that I haven't been able to share honestly during my time with you.

Yes, it's very true that I don't go about with makeup on my face. As you have already noticed, it is not the most suitable kind to be putting on makeup. I have done what I can, going to a dermatologist. It has actually been much better than it used to be. The thing is though, money has been a problem, especially after my dermatologist passed away. Going to beauty salons to get facials hasn't been helping either. I had even been to Ultimate Impressions (now called bluunis, as I'm sure you're already familiar with) which promised me that my face would clear up after 10 sessions. After my fifth, my face had become so bad I had lost faith in not only their products but their services as well. Needless to say I never went back, and there goes RM1k++ down the drain. Looking back at that experience got me thinking...is branding all that? Just a lot of nice layers so that consumers would go get their products and service? Perhaps you might see it differently, but to me as a consumer, it is so wrong to go all out and market products that claim they are great, but in real life, it is not that way at all.

Back to the face thing. Is it so true that without makeup a lady cannot be presentable? I do not claim that I am very pretty or whatsoever, but I do know friends who go about without makeup and they still look very pleasant. I would like to try make up on (I do like how I looked in that photo), but it is SO hard for me to put make up on and NOT break out right after. That time I took the photo, I looked okay for a while, but the week after, I cannot be seen at all. I do know some products that will help not to break out, but these non-comedogenic products are hard to come by (read: expensive) and I doubt that I can afford that, should I be staying in Penang with a salary less than RM2k.

Call me calculative or what may, but I find it so very difficult to be able to make ends meet with a salary that's less than RM2k and having to rent my own place, probably paying for a car, and other expenses. It might be sufficient maybe 5 - 10 years ago, but with the current situation, it seems impossible. To break it down and in your words, 'being thrifty enough', a room: RM400 (minus bills), car: RM300-500, food: RM600. That is already RM1300 - RM1500. Way more than the RM1250 that one can apparently survive in Penang. And that doesn't include the other expenses I have to bear for let's say, another dermatologist (consultation fee: RM70 every time, medication: RM100 - 300 depending on what was prescribed), make up (easily costing from RM200 - RM500 for basic utensils and what not) and not to mention clothes (you might have noticed that I am not of the petite size that the average Malaysian girl has. As such, my clothes are always hard to find, and I almost always have to purchase clothes that are imported. These range from RM50 - RM100 for each piece). All in the name of looking 'good and presentable'. Oh yes, let's not forget the contact lenses that I have to purchase (A box of contact lenses that last a month costs about RM50-60) and at the same time sacrificing my already deteriorating eyesight. Even though it is quite 'mild' now, but with prolonged use of contacts every day for up to 12 hours (which I am presuming to work) the eyes will definitely be in very bad shape. Ask any ophthalmologist or optician, and they will tell you the same thing.

And forgive me if I am wrong, but with all the sayings about being a family and all that, doesn't being in a family mean that we would accept each other as we are? Would you say that YOUR family will only accept pretty girls and handsome guys? In that case, I guess I wouldn't be suitable to be part of the family. Yes, my family would always get me to try and be 'better', but in the end, should I choose not to, they would still accept me as I am because I AM FAMILY. If this 'family' thing is really as it claimed itself to be in your organization, I'm so sorry but I think it's very discriminatory.

At this point of time, you might be saying that these are just excuses for myself to make me feel better. It might be to you, but that IS the reality that I am living with now. I am imperfect, and I doubt that I could be very well be on the way of 'climbing up' with having to not just be on top of my game work-wise, but also having to compete in the looks department. And yet, I have also things that I like and love which don't necessarily need me to be THAT pretty person, for which I am very thankful for. Having said that, I thank you once again for the 'sharing' session. Although I am - as was being implied - 'unsuitable' for the position, it had taught me a little bit more about the branding 'world' and how I won't be able to fit in. I shall therefore 'not waste both your time and mine' with the process any longer. Thank you and hope you have a good day.

Sincerely,Audrey

Yes, I did send this email out. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I just did...LOL! I hope it didn't backfire on me...not that I want to work in their company anymore and such, but I won't get into trouble for it right? >.<"

Is it all about looks only?

2010-03-26T21:51:00.003+08:00

I'm still pinching myself that I'm in Penang right now. It has been such a whirlwind experience; taking a bus (and almost missing it) to Penang and reaching in record time (according to my friend who went with me), going for a job interview that has started to freak me out a little, and having such a gastronomical adventure with all the great food in Penang!

I don't really know what prompted me to go for this job thing. At first, it was just about trying to get a job that is in line of my writing interest, but now looking back at this interview that i was just at, I'm starting to freak out. Perhaps it's about their concept of 'branding' as they put it. The way they go on and on about building dreams and passion is great, but then they also go about talking on how they are all a 'family' and that they do not have office politics. Ever. Guaranteed some more! Try as I may, I seriously can't grasp the idea that there is an actual company that can guarantee no office politics...either they are really THAT good, or they are so hoodwinked into their 'branding' thing that they don't see it happening. Yes, I am that cynical.

Maybe I'm being bitter or something. There was a time they talked about personal grooming and they asked me questions that really took me off guard. They showed me the photo that I sent them a while back of myself (which was taken after my photoshoot for graduation. I had nice make up and hair done by an actual make up artist), and then went "What happened to you? Why did you show up like what you are now? I find it quite unacceptable that you have come to the interview with NO MAKE UP on. Personal grooming is very important, [insert long speech about grooming and looking the part]. Do you go for facials? I think perhaps before you put on make up and stuff like that, you should go to beauty salons and let them analyse your skin so you can get your skin cleared up first. Do you wear contacts? *After I told them about my degree of short-sightedness* Oh, it's very mild only!"

Okay, I have no qualms about you telling me that I don't take pride in how I look, even though how nice you may have put it and stuff like that. Truth is, I find it such a lost cause, especially my face. Talking about that is another long story, but suffice to say that I've not only spent a tremendous amount of money on it, but it's not doing much at the moment. I would like to try make up on (I do like how I looked in that photo), but it is SO hard for me to put make up on and NOT break out right after. That time I took the photo, I looked okay for a while, but the week after, I cannot be seen at all. And it's not that I don't want to wear contacts, but it IS actually not good to wear it on a long term basis. Facing the PC everyday for almost 8 hours everyday will not do the eyes good. I do wear contacts when it comes to special occasions, but contact lenses cost money too, you know? Would you be implying that I have to sacrifice my eyes to make sure that I look good? And what of that 'family' concept? Isn't the core thing about family is that we accept each other for who we are, ugly warts, fat bits and all? Would you say that YOUR family will only accept pretty girls and handsome guys? And I still don't get that girls have to make up and all that. Call me naive or what, but why is it that only GIRLS have to do it? I don't see guys putting make up on (Okay, maybe some really vain ones do, but I doubt that the majority of guys do it just yet), and yet they seem to do alright. Wouldn't one just need to look presentable? Wouldn't having make up on make you feel like a fraud; a mask that you have to put on daily, to hide your flaws and project a false image of yourself? I don't know. I guess it's my own thing. Apparently, it's not just about what you can do; how you look is equally (if not more) important. Have we become that shallow, or it's just me?

Looking at their take on how much I'm to expect for my 'non-experience', I wonder if I could survive (they are asking me to expect not even my current salary. Instead, maybe even lower than my starting pay when I first worked in my current company). Moving to Penang, getting a room and having to most probably get a car, what would that leave me for savings or even giving my parents 'spending money'? According to them, if I'm 'thrifty enough, and willing to work hard, you would be rewarded when performance is great'. Wow, that just puts a fire into your spirit.

I still can't phantom how I'm going to deal with this. I guess I'm making up more excuses for myself for not 'going the distance and taking action'. Suddenly I don't feel like doing the assignment that they have given me. Am I such a loser that I would just give up like that? Maybe I am. Or maybe I should take it as a challenge to just do it and see how far I can go; and if (that's a big IF) on the off-chance that they would offer me the job, throwing it back at their face saying that I don't need them. Yeah, that sounds like a plan...

Job-hunting Mania...Kind Of

2010-03-24T14:08:00.007+08:00

Yes, I've been looking for new jobs and going for interviews...add on to that, the 'stress' of having to keep quiet of my having to leave in the near future from the management, and juggling work that's not part of my scope (but I have to do, because I have nothing else assigned to me >.<"). Hence, the lack of postings in all my blogs. *sigh*Apologies to all my readers (if any =P). I'll be back posting loads very soon...I hope!

Having been to about 5-6 interviews now, there's something 'weird' that I've noticed about the Human Resource people. If the supervisor who interviewed you is keen on taking you in for the position, they would pass on the necessary documents to HR and they will subsequently do all the calling, offer letters, discussions about salary packages, etc. Fair enough, but wait! Why is it that when the HR people DO call, they MUST get an answer, like on-the-spot?? So far, I think I've been offered positions in 3 different companies, and they all go about the same way:

HR: *talking really fast, like as if he/she is rushing for something and has no time to talk* Hi Audrey, we're pleased to inform you that you have been offered a position in [insert company's name]. Your position is [insert job designation], and we are offering you a salary package of [insert necessary details about salary, bonuses, leaves, etc etc]. So, do you accept??

Me: *taken aback from the sudden influx of information to digest* Errrr....okayyyy. That sounds good, but would it be possible for me to take some time to think about it? I need time to digest the information given to me.

HR: *is now either quite impatient or speaks in an even more chipper voice* Okayyy...how much time do you need? Can I call you TOMORROW??!!

Me: *even more flabbergasted*

Here's the thing with me...I apply for jobs to not just one company alone, but also to many other companies just to see where I can get with it (as I'm sure most job seekers do). Most of the time, they give me a call to set up an interview with them. The catch is, these interviews more often than not fall about the same week or so. And so, here comes the dilemma: Either to just accept the job that was offered to me and let go of the other opportunities that MIGHT be very cool prospects, OR turn down the job position and try to nab the other jobs, throwing away also what MIGHT be a cool prospect.

Yes, I know working is like taking a gamble. There's no way to know if the company is good or not until you've actually stepped in and worked in it. But then, I'd also like to have time to weigh my options and see which company I'd like to go, instead of just turning down and waiting for the next one. And yet, all the companies that offer me a place seem to be so rushed. One even wanted to buy me out from my current company so that they don't have to wait so long. Flattering as it may be, as a good friend said: "It's either they have been looking for someone like you for a long time; OR they have so much shit going on in that department that they need someone to clean it up pronto". >.<"

I do understand though that for HR to offer me a place needs time and effort, but a job is also important for the worker! Can't they be given at least a few DAYS to work out if they should go for it. After all, we spend SO much time at the workplace (at least I feel I do), so proper planning needs to be done. I'd actuallylike to finish all the other interviews scheduled for that week andthen see which would suit me (financially and interest-wise).

But no...I have been getting the same thing over and over: "We can't wait. So tell me your decision now!" -_____-" As I'm still with my current company, you would know what my answer is by now right?

Job-hunting sucks.

Showstoppers With MPO & Stephen Rahman-Hughes

2010-03-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Okay, I had the most AMAZING time last Sunday, and since this would not be a kind of review, I shall put it here as my sort of 'gushing' post...LOL!

Went to Dewan Filharmonik Petronas with my sis to catch the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra (MPO) featuring vocals from Stephen Rahman-Hughes after I heard about it from a radio advert. I bought the tix about one week ago, and it was almost a full house, but managed to get quite nice seats still =) We sat in the 'Box' area...so it was quite comfy and we could get a nice view of the whole orchestra. Ticket price wasn't too bad either...RM85 for a 2-hour-plus show. *grins*

The view from my seat...I snuck a photo while they were doing their warm-up thingys before the show. Photography was not allowed DURING the show, so I took this before. Heh! Notice the big, gorgeous 'decor' at the back? It's actually a huge pipe organ...cool eh?

Anyways, on to the show...it was SUPERB! It started off with selections from the musical 'My Fair Lady' (done by the orchestra) which was just beautiful, as we went through the paces of romance, and thrills, and then romance with a happy ending. Loving the rich, lush sounds of the strings, and can't help but admire the guy who plays the timpani at the back. The rich, bass sounds really complements the strings and set the tone of the music (be it a building of something dramatic, or the big finish at the end) VERY well!

Then when the song for 'I Dreamed A Dream' came on, in walks Stephen Rahman-Hughes looking VERY suave with a velvet ensemble and dramatic collars! I've always loved his voice after hearing him sing in PGLM, and to hear him live again was breathtaking. Plus, who wouldn't like to see the eye candy that is the hazel-eyed, luscious locks, Welsh/Malaysian Stephen (complete with a manly stubble)? *swoons* The only gripe I had with him was his weird shoes...if only I had snuck another photo. LOL! Imagine a guy with a great suit and look, with shoes that are not just garishly red, but filled with sequins as well! o.O" Such a distraction, but I refused to let that deter my from watching and listening to the great songs in the programme *grins*

And so, we were treated to quite a few amazing songs in the programme...amongst them, songs from Evita ('Don't Cry For Me Argentina'), Phantom Of The Opera ('Music Of The Night'), Bombay Dreams ('Journey Home') and Guys and Dolls ('Luck Be A Lady'). Stephen was definitely in his element that day...his voice was amazing, hitting those big notes with ease; managing to be charming, suave, or romantic whenever the songs require it. A cute highlight was him playing a handsome, suave guy in 'Luck Be A Lady' with just an addition of a fedora hat! *sigh of content*

I had a bit of trouble hearing him though at some points of the songs though, probably because the orchestra was a bit overwhelming. But he definitely did his best to project his voice, and even managed a few moves in what little space that was given to him on stage (you can see how little he had from the photo above!). His interaction with the audience was also great, introducing the songs with great panache, and even poked fun at the conductor (the ever great John Georgiadis)!

Alas, the concert had to come to an end after his final number of 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina'...but we did give him and the orchestra a rousing applause, and he came back for an encore! YAYY! He sang 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight' from the Lion King musical, and it was amazing as usual....I had a feeling though that the song arrangements were similar to the songs that Teatro (a group that Stephen is in. Their look is similar to Il Divo, but they sing more musical numbers whereas Il Divo sings classical pop) sang, and true enough after the concert I listened to Teatro's album, and it's exactly the same! How awesome! I got to witness and listen to those songs live (of which Stephen sounded exactly like in the album...AWESOME!!), backed by a great orchestra! After that, we gave another long applause and to our great delight, he came back YET AGAIN! YAYY!

He announced that at first he wanted to do 'Memory' from Cats (OMG! One of my favourite songs!!!) but sadly, his contacts from London didn't send the scores through....dang it! No worries, he did the sexy suave guy thing in 'Luck Be A Lady' again, so all's good! *grins*

After I left the hall, I noticed that there were people hanging outside and queuing up for autographs by Stephen. Too bad the queue was too long...otherwise, I would have lined up too. =( But I did hang around to see if I can catch a glimpse of him when he's signing, and sure enough, he did!

ARRRGHHH! I got to within like, 3 feet from him, but my phone didn't get enough light to get a good photo! >.<" I couldn't phantom why though! The lights behind him were bright enough for me to see his handsome face! And other people's cameras were getting the photos fine! This is one time I SOOO regretted not bringing my camera along (I forgot...*SIGHHHHHH*)

He was definitely super cute! Even my sis (who's not really THAT interested in hunky guys) thought he was handsome! *grins*

One more last shot before I left for home =)

And THIS is what he looks like...swoon-worthy or what?? *wink*

All in all, definitely a memorable night =) I've been hearing rumors that he might be doing a solo album, so hopefully it'll reach Malaysia someday! And he'll be starring in a Malaysian 'historical' film called 'Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa'...wonder if he'll be speaking in BM. LOL! Ooh, and I'm SOOO hankering to go watch "West Side Story" in May! They are bringing in the Broadway musical from New York to Istana Budaya! Tickets are very pricey though, but I have yet to go to a real international musical thing (doubt that I can afford to actually go overseas to watch them...like 'Love Never Dies', the sequel to 'Phantom Of The Opera'!!! Sad), so I'd really like to go! I'm looking for 'kakis' to go with me...haha! Let me know if you're interested! *grins*

To Be Or Not To Be...That Is NOT The Question!

2010-03-12T17:50:00.002+08:00

Been feeling kinda restless of late. Still am figuring out what the heck I'm restless about...is it my job DISsatisfaction? Or the fact that I'm getting older, and the dreaded questions about marriage and kids spring up? OR, maybe I'm just getting depressed seeing all my friends being either happily married (with kids some more!) or going somewhere with their career, or even being able to do what they love...all of which I haven't been able to do.

Speaking of job dissatisfaction, I just got off from the external audit that our company had today. Real kudos and props should be given to my colleagues for all their hard work and cooperation with me, the ever-so-blur-case person supposedly 'in charge'. >.<" We all got an email from the CEO congratulating us for the work we had done, but the big spoiler to the 'exhilaration' would be the parting line of "...I would also like to think that there were NO LESS attention on your daily tasks! .....we must add VALUE!" -__________________-" What a way to deflate your so-called happiness right?

I remember someone asking me before about choosing between job satisfaction and money. Normally, I would always answer 'Job satisfaction, because enjoying what you do for a living is definitely better than the amount of money you make.' I realized now how naive I had been, looking back on my previous statement -it IS true that you should be enjoying what you do, but how many actually are fortunate enough to do THAT? I know very precious few people who do...and UNfortunately, I am not one of them. For what it's worth now, money seems to be the key factor that I'm gearing towards to. Why? I don't know...maybe it's partly because I happen to be one of those people that my parents kind of depend on to look after them when they're old (which I am still nowhere near to doing just yet). Supporting yourself is one thing, but to have other people supposedly counting on you to 'bring in more money for the family' sure kicks you in the head hard. And often times, I keep looking at my job and go, "What the heck am I doing now?"

I had been wanting to try and get a career in writing since quite some time ago. Only recently I've been able to sort of 'break through' with the little freelance work that I can squeeze in after work hours. And I find, I quite enjoy it :) Thing is though, if I DO ever want to switch jobs, I would never be able to get back the current pay that I'm getting (low as it is now). What with me not having experience or formal 'training' in university in journalism and what not, I'm pretty sure that I'll be starting back with the salary I started with 2 years ago...maybe even lower. And, being 'knocked' with some sense talk by my elder sis (who with her good intentions, I fully understand), I realized that I might not be able to go far (so to speak) with writing as a full-time job. Sure, writing is my passion, but it doesn't pay that much...even for an editor. And so, I'm back to square one: either find a job that pays me decently (but I can potentially hate), or go with a job that I love (and possibly live poor[-ish] for the rest of my life).

Yes, I do understand that money is not everything, but my dear...money IS essential too. I don't know if it sounds so materialistic to some people, but I am sick and tired of having no savings on my own, no car, no house, and not having the option of being able to travel to wherever I want. Oh heck, forget all of that...I am barely making ends meet for myself, let alone supporting my parents!

I know, there are definitely many more people who are worse off than me. For that, I am thankful. BUT, who doesn't want to be moving forward and being better off? For me, I feel the pressure...and the clock is ticking for me. I'm getting older, and have no sign of moving up the 'corporate ladder'. Rather, I feel myself falling down from the ladder and am just looking at everybody else around me getting richer, or just moving up so fast.

I remember reading somewhere along the lines of, "Stop asking WHY people can do it! Instead, ask yourself HOW you can achieve what they are doing!" Great advice, except for one small thing...if I already know HOW people are getting rich, I wouldn't be asking WHY right? And...if everybody knew HOW to get rich, there wouldn't be poverty, or labourers struggling to make a living. Heck, everyone would be rich billionaires! Not that I don't think about it still. I DO think about how...but all the time, the answer eludes me. Such is my life...and it kind of sucks. *sigh*

What Would I Give For This Again?

2010-03-10T18:03:00.001+08:00

Ahh...the simple joy of eating ice-cream on a hot 'summer' day! This was taken from a very nice shop that sells chocolate products (for the most part). Walking past, I noticed a lady taking a big tray of these cute cups full of ice-cream, and read the sign nearby it.

'Vanilla Sundae With Chocolate Topping for only RM1.10'!! Well, who wouldn't jump at the chance, right? Especially when I glanced at the chocolates on display, and they were selling ONE measly bar (imagine Cadbury sized bar) for almost RM30. o.O" Next best thing: chocolate shavings...haha!

Not really a big fan of chocolate, but this one is (I am guessing) a semi-sweet chocolate topping over a creamy soft-serve vanilla ice-cream. Think McD's but with more expensive chocolate topping, and with a milkier taste...yumm! Definitely thinking of going back very soon to sample some more of this...heh!

Lemon & Orange Butter Cake

2010-03-08T13:08:00.000+08:00

I got back the 'baking bug' yesterday, so I tried out a recipe forLemon & Orange Cake (original link:http://www.exclusivelyfood.com.au/2006/07/lemon-and-orange-cake-recipe.html)and was quite satisfied with it. So, naturally, I took photos...haha!

Fresh from the oven!

Flipped it over for the citrus icing...love the color!

And after icing it with the citrus icing...I didn't use as much sugar as the recipe stated though. Too much sugar! >.<"

Another close up on the icing...I wanted to emulate the same side 'waterfall' effect that the recipe had. It was so cute!

And the finished product =) Loved the texture of it...buttery with citrus-y taste! Mom complained that the icing made it too sweet, but I felt it was good...the layer of icing is VERY thin. Haha!

Had a hankering to bake doggy biscuits for Scottie and Kenji, but I ran out of ingredients...*sigh* So I have to get supplies first before I can try out the brownie roll-out cookies for them. =D

'Mommy' Syndrome? Eep!

2010-03-04T17:47:00.001+08:00

It's 5.30pm on the work PC, and I'm counting down till I can go home, change, maybe grab a bite of dinner, and go to Eric's house to get Scottie. Why? Last night, it was the first night that Scottie wasn't at home to play with when I came home; or do his ridiculous roaching on the floor and sofa before I chuck him into the playpen for the night.

I left him at Eric's place so that he could try to do his umm...'thing' with Fatty. Fatty's parents wanted it to happen naturally, and last night it never did materialize coz
a) Scottie was too eager (aka inexperienced!); and
b) Fatty was very scared and would run off before they could 'do it'. >.<"

Eric suggested to leave him at their place so they would be more familiar with each other and maybe try again in the morning. So, I did, knowing that they're avid dog lovers (probably even more than me!). But still, can't stop thinking about him and if he's causing havoc in other people's house or not. He's very naughty when he wants to be, and I have a feeling he might just be a monster at Eric's house, since he has not been left with other people before. >.<" Then it got me thinking, 'Had I just become like my parents?!' *gasp of horror*

Don't get me wrong...I love my parents, but sometimes they can be a bit overbearing. Especially when I go out and come home late (Can you imagine, at 12am sharp, the phone rings and you see 'Home' on it. Answer it, and your Dad calls to ask where are you and what time you are coming home. -______-" Endearing as it might be, but it's darn embarrassing when you are 25 and your friends are looking at you one kind and go, 'You STILL have curfew ar?!' *face-palm*). It hit me though at this point, that the same thoughts could be going through their heads when I'm not around...

Oh gosh...I'm having the 'Mommy' syndrome. >.<" The only thing I 'pride' myself for is that I never called Eric every few minutes to see if Scottie is doing funny stuff at their place. And just now, looking at Eric and the girls' blogs, he seems fine...they were even nice enough to take him for a car drive around! =) So, I guess I've been overthinking things a bit too much (which seems to happen A LOT these days...I think I'm going insane!). Let's hope that when I actually DO have kids or something (highly unlikely! >.<") I won't go berserk. *crosses fingers*

New Blog (??!!)...And Chuffiness!

2010-02-25T17:28:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been thinking (okay, more of being encouraged - Thanks Patrick! - and THEN thinking) about starting another blog just for my reviews and what not. Reason being that, since I'm looking into writing jobs ATM (cross fingers that I'll be successful!) it would be good to let people know of my review blogs. Sort of a 'Here's what I can do' blog. And if you read it, it won't be interspersed with many of my rantings, depressing or hyper =P

And so, long story short, I've created a new blog...and after looking for quite a few hours on a template (I'm lousy at designing, so might as well let the pros do their work! heh!) I THINK I've found something that suits me =) So, from here on out, all those reviews and opinions go to my new blog: ~ Come Rayne Or Shine ~ and this shall be the go-to for my 'other stuff'. LOL!

Speaking of chuffiness (if there's such a word!), it's been a while since I've gotten my new iPhone, and so I wanted to show what my phone looked like...heh! Sorry if it feels like I'm boasting, but I do really like this phone no matter who bashed it and stuff. It's my number one phone for the moment, so I'm putting it here in case I forget how lucky I was to get the phone! LOL!

My unlock background screen *grins* Seriously heart this photo of Scottie...he's so funny and cute at the same time. =P

And some of my applications in the phone! I used a 5-icon dock and 5-icon board to fit more of them in. Heh! Having a 32GB phone really is cool, coz it's like neverending of space! I've put in hundreds of apps, music, and a few videos, and I think it only reaches less than 10GB of space. o.O"

The other thing that I liked about the iPhone was the camera =) Granted, it's no match for even my cheap-ish compact digital camera, but it's definitely a convenience to have for the times that I forgot to bring the camera along. =) And 3MP is still good for blogging photos! Case in point: a couple of weeks ago, I went to this nice restaurant in Kuchai Entrepreneurs' Park with my family for noodles, and it happened that it was recommended by Ho Chak! I forgot my camera (naturally)...so here are the photos taken with my iPhone:

Name of the restaurant...=) Forgot to take a photo of their shop signboard, so I guess napkin will do =P

Some bamboo wall decorations with gold plated words on it..quite nice!

We ordered dumplings as a side dish...kind of nice, but they had the vege that tasted weird (Chinese called it 'gau choy'). Reminded me loads of the Taiwanese / pure China dumplings. Not really a favorite, but still quite tasty =)

My Mom and I had crispy pork noodles served with wantons. The wantons are similar in taste to the dumplings, except that they were smaller, but the noodles were EXCELLENT! It's all handmade, and somehow they managed to make the noodles SUPER fine (even finer than the machine made wanton noodles we get!) and super springy! Must try to believe *wink*

My sister's order: Mushroom chicken feet noodles! She liked the noodles as well, but according to her, the taste wasn't as good as Mom's dish! heh! It's so true...I have the best chef in Malaysia staying at home with me. All the things she cooks - even how bad she claims it to be - ALWAYS tastes good! Someday I'll blog about her cooking...*grins*

Seriously...WTF!

2010-02-22T13:36:00.000+08:00

Okay, normally I try not to use HBO words in whatever I do, but sometimes...HBO words are kind of apt to be used in certain situations. Case in point: now.

I just got back from a meeting with the boss about my performance/yearly appraisal. Forget the fact that it was conducted too late (all the way in February, when it was told that due to a streamlining of the company's process, appraisals are done in January); or that I have to keep reminding the HR department that my appraisal is LATE. Apparently, there has been another 'streamline' in their process of evaluating people. It is a point-based system where they give points for whatever criterias HR uses for evaluation, and the tally of these points determine your performance for the year. No complaints about that...I feel my performance has been good the past year (save for that dratted fall and absence of 2 months...but otherwise, still kind of good).

The complaint of mine was...the effin' increment! In my first year of appraisal, there has been quite a big increment in terms of percentage-wise (around 30-40%!) from my monthly salary. Granted, my salary at the time had been super low, so of course it's a significant increase. Naturally, one would estimate that in the second year of appraisal, there should be somewhat that kind of increase right? (given that my current salary is STILL much, MUCH lower than what any other company pays for what I'm doing) And so, I waited with bated breath to see if it's worth another year of my services...

Guess what? According to their 'formula' of calculation, my performance has been deemed 'GOOD'...and so, I get a 'very good increment' (according to my boss) of:

*DRUM ROLL*

A WHOPPING 7%!

Wow....what can I say right? Seven. Effin'. Percent. And that's for 2 years of working (almost) my butt off. Way to go for motivation...now I'm just super pumped to 'contribute even more to the company's success'! *rolls eyes* Forget all the crap that says I'm 'good raw material that needs to be polished'...what do we (well, I mostly I guess) work so hard for? To get enough money to sustain oneself! As it is, I barely have enough to sustain myself...there was NO WAY I could ever get a car (let alone a house) with this f****** salary; don't even get me started on savings (I have none...go figure), and with this inflation of prices and all, it just gives me more reason to leave!

I seriously do not believe in the 'we work not for the money, but for our interest' crap. Reality always kicks in no matter what we do, and more often than not...it kicks us in the nuts. HARD. And so, here goes another kicker for me. Need to find new job. PRONTO. Any recommendations? I'm seriously open to suggestions.

Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief

2010-02-19T17:57:00.001+08:00

Yikes, two months into the new year, and I've already broken my resolution (err...wish). LOL! Oh well, I'm hoping to rectify it real soon *crosses fingers*

Managed to do another review on the movie 'Valentine's Day', and watched 'Legion' also. Since it's been so late after 'Legion', I think I'll just sum it up in a few words: It wasn't as nice as it was hyped out to be, in my opinion. I think some of the best scenes were shown in the trailer itself (which is a bummer!); Paul Bettany was a great actor, but sadly underused in his character of the arch angel, Michael. There was no real story-line, and I find it real ironic that an angel knows what God needs and wants -____-" Hello? God is all-knowing??! Anyways, to put it bluntly, not something I'd recommend to watch in the cinemas. It's probably better to watch it at home.

'Valentine's Day' on the other hand, was SWELL!! My *ahem* official review here: http://www.cinema.com.my/movies/movie_contents.aspx?search=2010.6230.valentinesday.11653

Great casting, good comedic elements to break up the overly sweet theme of the movie; not to mention all the hunky dudes cast (McDreamy, McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, Ashton Kutcher, Bradley Cooper, Jamie Foxx, Topher Grace and Taylor Lautner...need I saw more? *wink*) In short, I can't rave more about the movie...go watch it!

Okay, okay...I babbled too much. This post is supposed to be about 'Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief'! Went to watch it last week with a bunch of good friends. Didn't quite meet what I thought it would be, but it wasn't as bad either.

My good friend mentioned that it was so much different from the book version, so I guess I have to read it to see how different it was from the movie. But, looking at the movie alone, it wasn't half bad. Okay, it had some similarities with Harry Potter (3 students going out on an adventure, breaking many many rules as they go along; big bad fight at the climax of the movie; the 3 became best friends after that. Oh, not to mention the same director from the first two HP movies...heck, I even thought the musical score was similar too >.<")...and it kind of bugged me a little that Percy (played by Logan Lerman) is a Zac Efron lookalike (remake of High School Musical, anyone?), but other than that, not too bad.

The story is about Percy Jackson finding out he's a demigod (half mortal, half Greek God...apparently, Greek Gods like to come down to Earth every now and then to 'hook up' with mortals, but are not allowed to meet with their offspring. How convenient would that be, eh?) and someone has framed him for stealing Zeus' precious lightning bolt. So, he gets rescued by his good friend Grover (who turns out to be a mythical creature himself, and throws a whole dimension of WTF in your face in his revealing) to a place called Camp Half Breed...oops, I mean Camp Half-Blood (creative name, isn't it?) where Percy finds refuge and subsequently sets out to find who the heck stole Zeus' bloody bolt (not in their words, anyway). On their quest, they met up with many mythical beings, like the famous Medusa (played by Uma Thurman...I can see why they chose her for Medusa. GORGEOUS eyes!), Hydra, and Persephone...heck, even the Hell Hounds made an appearance!

The ending is quite predictable...don't want to spoil your fun on it *wink* But some of the effects were quite impressive, like the regrowing of the Hydra's heads. It is after all, directed by one of the HP series's directors, so one should expect no less =) Story-wise, it had a good plot...I just didn't like the climax and ending, which seems a bit too rushed compared to the way they slowly (and nicely) build up the events leading to the climax. Time constraint maybe. Casting was good; they threw in some famous names amidst the new leads...Pierce Brosnan, Kevin McKidd, Steve Coogan and Sean Bean did a great job with their characters, although I think I would prefer them to be less...how do I say it? WEIRD. Maybe it's the dialogue or something, but it's very jarring to see Zeus and Hades as a Jesus lookalike and a faded out rockstar wannabe respectively. Trying too hard to make it more current for the masses, I guess...*shrugs*

All in all, it was kind of lame in some parts, but it also has its funny and cool moments...my venture would be that it's catered more for young adults (read: teenie boppers who have crushes on Zac Efron). So, if you have a 14-year-old sister, bring her to watch this one...I think she'll fall in love with Percy in no time flat. *wink* Let's just hope he doesn't pull a Daniel Radcliffe and does an 'Equus' production in the future too..

Moon In Broad Daylight

2010-01-26T17:12:00.001+08:00

Took this photo at around 5pm-ish yesterday while I was waiting for my aunt to come and pick me up...something about seeing the moon while it's still light out is quite cool =)

My First Published Review!!

2010-01-20T15:54:00.001+08:00

Okay, I don't really know if it's appropriate for me to post this here, but then the website is for public viewing anyways, and it's my first ever published review, so I'm breaking the rules. *grins* Here's the link: http://www.cinema.com.my/movies/movie_contents.aspx?search=2010.6264.haunteduniversities.11710

Maybe it's just me, but seeing my own name there published gives quite a sense of pride that my work is recognised as 'good' =) And add to that, getting a good comment from the editor is really nice too! Going into it was a bit exhilarating and weird at the same time too. Introducing myself as someone from a publishing company...that's a big first, but I kind of like it! But overthinking things during the writing of the review: definite no-no. Need to just draft it all out first and then refine it later. LOL!

I would have liked to write more about the movie, but as it is it's a bit too long already, so here are my other opinions on "Haunted Universities":

Before watching the movie, here I was thinking that the movie is going to 'haunt' me in my nightmares for days on end...how glad was I that the movie turned out to be a big joke (with one character named after it, no wonder!). It was one of the few times I've actually laughed hard watching a horror film. LOL!
There never really were any connections between the four stories, except the showing of a few familiar faces. Kind of a flimsy way to tie the stories together. If they did it like Jack Neo's "Where Got Ghost?" it might have made more sense...*shrugs*
Some scenes were just a bit...out-of-it. And not in a good way too. Case-in-point: a scene where the murderer and his newly acquired 'apprentice' walk up to their next victim (in slow mo) accompanied by music reminiscent of "The Wild Wild West" (where the cowboys do the show down thingy with their guns and all) *rolls eyes*
I seriously do not get whether the movie was really a horror/comedy film OR just a really terrible horror film. On the one hand, if it was branded as a horror/comedy, it could have been a pretty decent one as you get lots of humour and slapstick antics. But, if it's meant to be an all-out Thai horror films, it definitely falls flat on its face. Oh well, watch it and you'll get what I mean. ;)

Hopefully there will be more gigs like this to go to...and I hope I can review some nicer movies than some 'non-movie' (as how the editor puts it) randomly given to me! On another nicer note, I was told that I am very welcome to just go and sit for a movie screening by the company (and I quote) "...for my amusement, if I am into that sort of thing" (!!!!!) DEFINITELY into it, but I hear that most of the screenings are done in the mornings on weekdays...*hears balloon being deflated* Oh well, I still have night previews I can attend, and possible weekends too, so it's still good! YAYY! Free movies to watch...haha!

Good News & The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus

2010-01-18T17:22:00.000+08:00

Whew...can't really believe this is happening just yet, so I'm pinching myself a lot. LOL! After thinking long and hard about what I want to do in my life (as well as encouragement from friends and family), I took the plunge (so to speak) and applied for something that I thought I would never be able to do just because I don't have a degree in journalism: freelance movie reviewer.

A neighbor (and good friend) of mine is working in journalism herself and I asked her about things that she do, and is it a requirement to have a degree in journalism should I want to venture into writing as a career. Surprise surprise...it's not really a requirement, though of course it's an added bonus if the person has one. Our little discussion turned into a VERY nice offer from her to hook me up with her ex editor at one of the companies she had worked at...I jumped at it, since it's a freelance job and I could look into building a portfolio for myself =) Plus, it might give me an idea on how things in the publishing industry works, and how often do we get PAID to watch a movie, right? Did a really quick review on my resume to check, put in some writing samples (from this blog..hehe!) and a cover letter, said a quick prayer, and sent them through email.

Long story short, they have decided to give me a try (YAYYY!) and would like me to start with a preview screening of a movie tomorrow. Looked it up online, and I found out that it's *GASP* a Thai horror film! A challenge perhaps, or maybe it's just some big coincidence that they knew I don't do well with horror...especially ASIAN horror flicks? Not that they aren't good, but I guess it's like the films feel closer to home, and with me knowing about some superstitions and all that makes the film even more creepy to me >.<" I just hope I can manage to write a decent enough review that they would want to let me continue! *crosses fingers* They expect the review by the following day, so I think I should be able to post my own opinion on it soon...*wink*

*****************************************************************************

On another note, I've managed to catch 'The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus' last week. It's really a pity to see that it hasn't generated that much buzz or excitement for people to watch it...I mean, it's only been about 2 weeks or so, and the cinemas are already limiting the number of showings! Not enough people coming to catch the last movie that Heath Ledger made before he passed, I presume...=(

Still, the movie did cast an interesting light on the extent of our imaginations. The story basically talks about Dr Parnassus (Christopher Plummer, who made Captain Von Trapp super famous in 'The Sound Of Music'), an old monk that made bets with the Devil (played brilliantly by Tom Waits) and uses a magical mirror to bring people from all walks of life into their own imaginations. Along the way, Dr Parnassus and his troupe (consisting of his daughter, a boy called Anton, and a midget called Percy) chanced upon another curious character, Tony (Heath Ledger) and they all set upon a most bizzare and otherworldly journey that will either knock your socks off (if you get the whole bizzare thing) or knock you completely confused (if you're just too logical and all that jazz).

The cast were brilliant in the movie..Christopher Plummer definitely plays the old monk with great aplomb, balancing the drunken stupor that the character is almost always in and the wise, engaging storyteller of a man when the character is sober. But the one that steals the show would be Heath Ledger, who brought Tony to life with his little mannerisms and British accent that one can't really place. It's a little sad though to see when Tony changes faces (played by Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell) during the story. One would definitely be able to tell which parts were made after his death...but still, the other actors held their own and melded their interpretation of Tony with Heath's very well.

If you're not into the whole story (or you just don't understand it), just watch it for the visuals. The 'worlds' created by the characters' imaginations will surely leave you breathless. Think Tim Burton's 'Charlie and The Chocolate Factory' with a darker, more adult twist. Although looking really bizzare (I seem to be using this word a lot, but I think this is the most apt word for it. LOL!), surreal, and abstract-ish, the effects are awesome. I guess it's something to be seen in order to be believed *wink*

All in all, it's quite hard to place what the movie is all about (in my opinion), but the effects of the movie definitely is a crowd puller. If you DO go watch the movie, make sure you don't go for a late night showing (as the pace might render you sleepy) and don't worry if you don't 'get' the story at all...just sit back, relax and immerse yourself in the whole experience. *wink*

Avatar

2010-01-08T16:44:00.001+08:00

When I first viewed the trailer for Avatar on the TV in the beginning of the year (2009), the first thing that came to my mind was 'Oh...weird blue people fighting with large dinosaur-like birds against big spaceships and tanks! Animation!' Didn't really feel like watching the movie, until the second trailer came out, and then I waited in anticipation...the wait was so worth it! I watched both the normal and 3D versions of the movie, and I have to say both versions have its own unique (and breath-taking!) experience!

Don't want to go into the storyline as I'm sure most everyone knows what it's about, but I do want to rave about the stunning ethereal-like feel of Pandora! The creators certainly have gone all out to create beautiful, gorgeous looking trees, and jaw-dropping, knock-you-out-of-breath-the-first-time-you-lay-eyes-on-it scenery! Watching it twice never lessened that factor....all the colors, especially the luminescent glow on the trees at night were just..Wow. Makes me want to wish I lived in Pandora too! Heh! Definitely need to give mad props to the people working hard behind thescenes of Avatar...everything was simply superb, from all the detailingto the cinematography!

Pretty Eywa surrounding Jake...lovely!

The Na'vi were very impressive too, although I didn't quite get the blue skin and all...but after a while, you get used to it and appreciate how pretty they look too. Especially Neytiri (played by Zoe Saldana). LOVED Sam Worthington as Jake Sully! He brought a lot of emotion and vulnerability to the character, which we all sympathised with as he goes on bravely with his disability, and then triumphed together with him as he brought the Na'vi together against the humans. Definite swoon-worthy material as well...*wink*

The message behind the story was crystal clear in the movie, and I do love that quote which Jake tells the Holy Tree (which is so true of our world today):

"....there are no more greens, no more trees. They have killed their Mother (Nature)."

Watch the normal version to witness the spectacularity of the movie, but watch the 3D for different kind of experience. =) True, the 3D effects were not the usual 'throwing flying objects in your face' kind, but I really like the subtlety of it all. Watching the movie really felt like you were IN the middle of it all, standing behind the soldiers while they receive their briefing, watching the pilots from behind as they navigate the ships, or even running along the trees when Hometree got wiped out. Ooh, and not to mention being able to appreciate the more intricate details in the 3D movie compared to the normal version. Losing yourself in the movie has never been easier...and it also makes you gape at the cool technology that was made for the movie!

Detailing is even better in 3D!

All in all, I think this is one of the best movies and must watch of 2009...=) Here's to hoping that there would be more great movies like this from James Cameron, and maybe we won't have to wait another 12 years for it to bear fruit! LOL!

As a side note, I remember watching back Titanic a few weeks ago when it was shown on TV...I have to admit, I never did liked Titanic's story. Never got why the girls cried like mad when Jack died and cringed at the 'I jump, you jump' line (I still do..LOL!). Still, it amazed me looking at the CG of the ship...watching it again showed very big disparity between the CG then and now. It's very clear (watching it now) which parts were CG and which were not, but during the time it was a big thing, and I do appreciate the work that went into recreating the Titanic...I just didn't like the Jack and Rose story (maybe Leo Dicaprio was too young at the time..LOL!) I wonder if I would say the same thing if I got the chance to watch Avatar again in another few years' time...as of now, CG has never looked better! *grins*

Sherlock Holmes - "My Dear Watson..."

2010-01-08T15:14:00.006+08:00

Something up-to-date first...haha! One of my New Year's wishes (I don't really like resolutions...I always end up NOT doing it properly, so there!) would be to update my blogs as quickly as possible so I don't lose my train of thought. =)

Watched this a couple of days ago with sis and some good friends...I have to admit, I have not read the books of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (though of course I have heard of Sherlock Holmes and his adventures), so I went in with no inkling of what to expect. Did it deliver? YES!!

The story was set way back in the time where London was dark, dingy and dirty...and expect the atmosphere of the movie to be just that. But it does the job of setting the tone of the movie - which shows the case that Holmes and Watson are working on - steeped in 'paranormal' activities. Lord Blackwood, a notorious bad guy, was caught by Holmes and Watson...and subsequently hanged (even being pronounced dead by Watson himself). Holmes became bored after that, lurking at home and conducting experiments on his poor dog (hillarious but at the same time sad for the dog!) when he found out mysterious things are happening and it appears that Blackwood is NOT dead! *gasp* Without giving too much away, Holmes and Watson set out to uncover the mystery...and succeeded in unravelling all the conundrums that Blackwood threw at them.

Swoon-worthy (and funny) Holmes in a brawl scene that's super cool!

What I love about the movie was the observations of Holmes in every situation. Yes, I know he's a detective, and hence he HAS to be observant...but the Holmes that Robert Downey Jr. portrayed was not just pompous and witty, he was quite sarcastic and funny as well. From what little I knew about the Holmes everybody loved...he was just a normal detective who relied on his in-depth knowledge and brilliant deduction methods to solve a case. THIS Holmes was that...and more! Not only he was involved heavily (up to the point of fighting with the baddies a la Jackie Chan style) but he does it with panache and brings it to a whole new level =)

One of my favorite quotes from the movie:

"Itis a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly onebegins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suitfacts."

How apt! Often times we like to come to conclusions before we even findenough evidence for it, or just twist facts to 'prophesies' so that itwould feel right! Scary, isn't it? But so true...=) Still, I digressed!

The camaraderie and banter between Holmes and Watson were awesome as well! Love Jude Law's interpretation of the obssessive note-taker that is Watson...he was definitely on par with Robert Downey Jr. and it shows (on-screen at least) that they are the bestest of friends! Rachel McAdams plays Irene Adler, the woman who apparently was the only one who could outwit and outsmart Holmes. Though she is super pretty in the movie, I can't help but think that the writers have underplayed Irene's cleverness. It's as though she was there because they need a love interest or some sort for Holmes. *sigh* Which is sad, coz from what I have read about Irene, she is definitely brilliant...what a movie it would be if she was given a fleshier (figuratively!) role in the movie instead of some damsel in distress (for a smart woman, you'd think she would be able to evade capture, but she got caught as bait for Holmes...twice. *smacks head*)

The pace of the movie was great though...the thought process of Holmes on how to defeat an opponent was a favorite of mine. And I do like how they left clues all over for the audience to try and figure out what happened. Loved the explanation in the end on how they uncovered the mysteries! So, if you love mysteries, action, or just Robert Downey Jr. go watch it! You won't be disappointed =) Can't wait for the sequel (you know there'll be one! ;) ) as they will be bringing in Prof. Moriarty! Meanwhile, let me go and see if I can scrounge up those Holmes' novels to bring me up to speed...heh!

Birthday Celebration at Senjyu Sushi

2010-01-06T16:00:00.000+08:00

Okay, this post was supposed to be way, WAY back in November >.<" Still, I don't want to waste the photos and so, here it is..heh!

It was a birthday celebration for my Mom...she's big on healthy food, and so the best option would be Japanese food =) Mom loves sashimi, and since I had some great discount coupons for Senjyu (and we haven't been there before), we went ahead with it.

Located at e@Curve in Mutiara Damansara, Senjyu Sushi was quite a small-ish restaurant situated just beside the ever popular McDonald's. Walking in, we noticed there were not many staff around and thought 'Oh no...it's going to be a long wait!' but we were shown to the biggest and best table (in my opinion) in the restaurant shortly after...heh!

The interior decor of the place...loved the purple lanterns!

And there were rows upon rows of green bottles on display in the shelves above, so it was way cool!

Simple set up of the table

Looking at the menu, the prices were exorbitant! Thank goodness we had the coupons (and since it was our Mom's birthday anyways), so my sisters and I took quite a few liberties in ordering...hehehe! We thought since there were not enough staff going around and quite a number of customers were around, we would have to wait VERY long (since we placed quite a big order!), but it wasn't so! Food was served relatively fast, which was awesome!

My cold green tea..not bad! Not too watery or too thick :)

First order (by Mom): Avocado salad with shrimp roe and crab meat. It was lovely! Cool, crisp vegetables topped with slivers of avocado! And it was tossed with a vinaigrette that was super yummy! Mom can't quite place what it was in the vinaigrette (and she's a good cook!) but needless to say, it got polished off quite fast!

Soft shelled crab tempura...quite nice, especially after lemon juice was squeezed over it!

Can't really remember which sushi this was, but it was quite forgettable...nothing much to shout about. Still, it got finished off. LOL!

Wagyu beef! One of our favourites....thin slices of beef served along with a small cooking 'stove' in which we do a light BBQ with it. Dipped in their soy sauce, it was SCRUMPTIOUS! :D

The stove that came with the beef...with a piece of lard for 'oil'!

Caviar and roe sushi....need I say more? ;)

Another version of the caviar sushi...

Octopus sushi...one of Mom's favorites! She likes the baby octopuses for some reason..haha!

The little tub of wasabi...too cute to pass up for a photo!

Can't remember what is the name of the drink, but it was a nice fizzy soda with some cordial and bits of fruit in it...Rachel loved this!

Can't remember the Japanese name for this, but it's something like jellyfish or something to the extent. Not as nice as we expected :(

A GINORMOUS scallop for my Mom...it came with it's own little 'stove' and was boiling when it arrived. Heh! Very pricey, but Mom felt that it wasn't that nice. *gasp* Oh well...

The sashimi!! Some of it were nice, but we all felt that they were sliced too thick...if they were sliced thinner, it wouldn't have been hard to swallow. LOL!

Their signature dish, the Dragon Maki! Yummy sushi of mango,soft-shelled crab and some prawns wrapped in VERY thin slivers of avocado...it's delicious! Only thing is that to enjoy it in its entirety, you'd need to eat it all in one bite, and the sushi size sure is not small...*sigh* But I think I'd rather look ugly and enjoy the food than try to look dainty eating it...hahaha!

Mango sushi...another favourite! Who would have thought that mango goes very well with sushi, right?!

Noodles in a citrus-y sauce...also very yummy! :D

Then it was time for dessert...Viv ordered this, but it tasted rather weird! If I remember correctly, it's something like grape jelly wrapped around some liquor. NOT a good combination. Ugh.

Mochi (black sesame) ice-cream...it was surprisingly good, considering all we know of black sesame was in savoury food :D

Coconut ice-cream in a coconut shell...haha! But still, very sweet and creamy :)

And my favourite one of all...lavender ice-cream! Love the purple color, and it was quite creamy and not overwhelming with the lavender taste. Lovely!

When we got home, we got cake too...:D This was a trans-fat free orange chiffon with meringue frosting. What a great end to a nice day! Hope you enjoyed your birthday, Mom!

My New Gadget 'Baby'!

2009-12-30T12:06:00.001+08:00

Whoa, can't believe I've neglected the blog again...>.<" Many things have happened since my last rant: I have more rants because the project is STILL underway and I can't understand why the module I'm involved in kept changing their requirements; watched quite a few movies (will post my thoughts on in very soon!); went to quite a nice place to eat (will also post on that!)...but my biggest, BEST thing that happened so far was this:

Yes, I FINALLY went and got myself a new phone...a black, 32GB iPhone 3GS! *squeals* It's DEFINITELY one of the best phones I've got so far! Costed me an arm (literally -- remember my fall? I got reimbursed for my medical bills and a bit more...not that I fell on purpose, but you get the idea) and a leg (figuratively), but it's VERY nice indeed!

That wasn't a photo of how my phone looked like though...I changed the wallpaper and had more applications than those measly few (heh!) but it worked REALLY fast and was really responsive! Apps load quite quickly and I have to say I spent quite a bit of time toying and playing with the apps I managed to download...games and other cool stuff! YAYY! The iPod part of the phone was really nice too...it's about the same as my old iPod Nano, but it's all in my phone *grins* So I don't have to bring another iPod everywhere...heh!

I guess there's loads to rave about the phone (probably because I am already a fan of the iPhone..LOL!) so I won't bore you with it. Suffice to say I absolutely LOVED it, and even though I'm dead broke for the whole month after I bought it, I had no regrets...*grins* It satisfied what I wanted in a phone and more! True, it's not a real 'smartphone' for business and stuff, but I'm not doing big businesses anyways so it wasn't a big deal for me =)

The only 'gripe' I had with the phone was that the battery gets used up a bit too fast...normally on my old phones, one full charge could probably last me about 2-3 days of SMS, calls and occasionally some games. But one full charge of the iPhone could only last about 1 day o.O" Okay, maybe it's coz I've been playing on it a lot, but I hope if they do have an upgrade next time, it would be upgrading the usage of the battery. Not that I intend to change phones again so soon after I just bought it (I'm seriously hoping that it would last me at least a year or three of usage! All my old phones never costed this much, and yet had lasted for at least 2-3 years of usage! It would be SEVERELY heartbreaking if I couldn't use this phone anymore after only 6 months or so *crosses fingers*)

Yup, that's about it for now...am editing the photos of the dinner I had recently. Will post that ASAP!

Hypocrisy Much?

2009-12-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

Hmmph...I'm posting this in my office. At lunch time. On a Saturday.

Just to clarify, my working days are only 5 days a week, but due to some apparent 'big' project, I was roped in to 'volunteer and help out' with some simple UI designs. Because of the 'urgency' of the project, the whole team was supposed to finish the whole thing within....2 weeks! Hence, we have to work at least 12 hours everyday, almost 6 days a week, including public holidays. The catch? We didn't get any OT or actually, NO extra benefits whatsoever.

GAH! Can you say 'STUPID' or moronic, or whatever colorful word you can think of??! I think it's a real big mistake on the big person up there (management) to simply promise a client that we can get it done within that ridiculous time frame. Not just that, since we have this apparent 'separation' of the subsidiaries...it should be handled by that particular subsidiary only. BUT, a lot of the team that was involved in this project (including me) are actually NOT from that subsidiary. Yet, we have to go through this horrendous bitchfest and stress like the rest of them. And if (that's a REALLY big IF) we can get it done, guess who gets all the credit? Yup, THAT subsidiary only...

What really got me pissed was that it was clearly stated that the people who are doing the UI(me included) would be doing the forms and some simple validations ONLY. And yet, when it came to my particular module, I find myself scratching my head and thinking about how to do Javascript for dropdown values that SHOULD be in the database, or passing values from one page to another using Javascript. GAH! Thank goodness it was all resolved. But I'm still pissed though...working on a Saturday with no benefits really grits on my nerves. I think the only thing that keeps me going now is that my contract will be ending next March (which is a few months more only) so...I'm holding on to that thought for now.

'Kay, done ranting...apparently we can go. Half day at work today, because our team 'morale' is good. Pfft!

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

2009-11-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

The opening credits already got me thinking, 'OMG...so cliched!' and hoping fervently that the rest of the movie would not turn out to be something like the newer Star Wars installments: full of corny and cringe-worthy dialogue. I did not get my wish (kind of)...

'New Moon' is based on the second book of the same name in the Twilight Saga series...basically, you get the "girl gets the (vampire) boy of her dreams for the first 10 minutes, girl gets a paper cut and subsequently attacked by a bunch a hungry vampires, boy feels absolutely guilty and leaves girl, girl gets so depressed she gets nightmares and becomes an adrenaline junkie to create hallucinations of boy, girl finds a best friend in a new (werewolf) boy, boy falls in love with girl, something drastic happens and boy (vampire) thinks girl is dead, boy goes to kill himself and girl goes to his rescue, boy realizes his folly and promises never to leave girl again' story. *takes deep breath*

Although I'm a big, BIG fan of the Twilight series, I have to admit 'New Moon' is not one of my favourites in the series...mainly because it's so morose and dry. All Bella ever does is mope about three quarters of the book. But still, I guess every love story has to have its lows right? And without this book, one would not get to know more about Jacob, who is one of the central focus in the book.

What about the movie? I'm quite happy that the director and screenwriters stick quite close to the books...even adapting some of the minor (but very nice) details in the book, which I liked. However, there were also some liberties (I feel) that they took to try and make things more 'interesting' or dramatic, but that kind of takes things into the 'corny, cringe-worthy' direction...like the image of Bella and Edward running about in the woods, dressed in the fashion of supposedly posh English fashion. In SLOW MOTION??!! *shakes head*

Still, effects-wise, it's definitely a step up from the first movie...I'm guessing because they got a bigger budget, and it's great to see it put to (quite) good use. My favourite would be when the boys of the Quileute tribe transform...quite effortless and 'realistic'.

The cast did quite a good job too...Taylor Lautner definitely stood out as Jacob Black, giving Robert Pattinson (playing Edward Cullen) a run for his money. All his hard work buffing himself up for the movie definitely paid off, especially when he takes off his shirt to wipe off some blood on Bella! (another corny moment, but most of the audience went 'OOOOHHH!' when he did it, so...meh.) And it stays off too for most of the movie! *wink* Let's also not mention the eye candy that the other Quileute boys offered with their (also) buff and six-packed half naked bodies...heh!

Robert Pattinson is still a pretty boy, but I kind of get the feeling that the make up artists loved white too much that they piled on an inch thick of it on Edward...I mean, is it even possible that Edward is EVEN paler compared to Twilight?? Less is DEFINITELY more, people! The effects of Bella 'seeing' Edward as she goes through an adrenaline rush is quite nice, but weird at the same time too...I think the subtler way in the book of Bella only hearing him seems to have a better impact, but I guess since most people came to watch Robert anyways, it wouldn't do to have him only to appear in the first and last 10 minutes of the show...*rolls eyes*

Kristen Stewart did a great job in the role of Bella, although I wish she would drop the 'words are so hard to come out of my mouth it hurts' characteristic that she brings to Bella. I don't know...I never really imagined Bella to be THAT awkward, or to even stutter half the time. She's clumsy, sure, but it doesn't mean she have to almost force herself to talk right? If Kristen loses that little bit of annoying (sometimes to the point of irritation) act for Bella, she would be just perfect.

The casting for the Volturi was very cool...Michael Sheen did a great job as Aro, and the characters of Felix and Demetri were quite good, but my favourite Volturi character had to be Dakota Fanning as Jane. She was spot on, playing the most powerful 'soldier' in the Volturi...and I think she should stick with the red contacts. She looked very cool in them! hehe! It'll be great to see her in the coming movies...*grins*

All in all, it was quite a satisfactory movie...definitely a notch up from Twilight, and a must watch for Twi-hards! Even if you're not, watch it for the nice effects and the eye candy of the cast (especially the Quileute boys...and Jacob Black! *wink*). But also be prepared to be smothered with some really corny dialogue and 'sweet-until-you-get-sick' moments peppered throughout the movie!

2012 (The Movie)

2009-11-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

Oops, forgot to write this ages ago...*sheepish grin*

(Warning: Spoilers for movie ahead!)

I got to watch this movie last Friday, and I'm a little torn..LOL!

For those not in the know (for which I have to say, WHAT??!! It's one of the most anticipated movies this year!), 2012 is about the fulfillment of the 'prophecy' by various parties (Mayan, I-Ching, Nostradamus) that the world would come to an end by December 20, 2012 (20/12/2012...get it?). That's not all though...this movie also shows a John Cusack as Jackson Curtis, a down-and-out writer who is having a hard time connecting with his wife and kids...during the world's end, we see him and his family go through disaster after disaster, trying to stay alive. AND, to top it all off, the Government is in it (when is the Government never 'in it', eh?) and there's a 'big thing' brewing behind all of this by which humanity tries to survive this.

The CG and disaster effects were just SUPER cool (I mean, come on...how many movies can you see destruction at this level? From the White House, Tibet, and even the Vatican Church!). The director and the effects team sure did a bang-up job in imagining out what would actually happen if our Earth were to 'self-destruct'! Cool scenes include the mega tsunamis and the moving of the Earth's tectonic plates (giant earthquakes, big craters in every part of the world...you get the picture!). Definitely need to watch it in the cinema to appreciate the vastness and catastrophic proportions!

Not too sure about their scientific terms though...although I have a science background, but I never did study Physics or Geology. The actors seem to be quite convincing, but apparently some others didn't buy it...*shrugs* Still, we all came to watch a movie, and not to critic it's accurate-ness right? heh!

Storyline-wise, it's quite a typical 'estranged family that doesn't get along eventually comes back together stronger than ever in the face of adversity' story. I get that a Hollywood movie HAS to have some sort of plot to move it along, but some of the 'coincidences' or 'luck is in favour of Jackson' scenes are so comical, it's sad...I mean, how in the world did the guy manage to crawl out of an SUV falling into a giant crater of boiling lava? And to drive through massive earthquakes USING A LIMOSINE (with flying stunts and all) is quite...weird, to say the least. And let's not mention all the other situations where everyone escaped by the skin of their teeth every. Single. Time. (flying between falling two buildings, anyone?) But then, without them surviving till the end, there wouldn't be a story now, would it?

Still, I think it's really cool that we get to see first-hand (sort of...we never really know if this will happen EXACTLY like this until the day comes, right? *wink*) how the Earth comes to an end without getting killed ourselves. heh! So, if you're looking for a movie with lots of destruction and mayhem, 2012 is the movie for you! Just sit back, relax and gape at the awesome-ness of how it can all fall apart in just a short time =)

P/S: As a little side-note, you might want to make sure you empty your bladder before going into the cinema. It's a pretty darn long movie, and I mean REALLY long! (think Lord Of The Rings movie + 20 minutes!) By the time it's over, I felt like I'm about to 'burst'...haha!

Unforgettable Royal Charity Concert Relived!

2009-11-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

Phantom Of The Opera Medley:

Jessica Lee performing Cinema Paradiso:

Sean Ghazi - Bridge Over Troubled Water:

Sean Ghazi - Semalam:

Sean Ghazi - Ku Impikan Bintang:

Sean Ghazi & Estee Pook - The Prayer: