Don't know why....I feel strangely sad today, and the urge to just blog is here. Sitting here in the office alone gives a whole new perspective to that word. I don't know...probably I'm spending too much time thinking that I'm lonely and I miss the companionship of friends and what not. Need to snap out of it! *smacks self* 

Strangely enough, I am slowly getting back to things that I normally would do before the whole crazy 'ups and downs' phase...things like reading, listening to music that I love, even spending time with Scottie made me realize I've missed those things so much and I really enjoy it. I'm resolved now that things will fall back into place eventually. Normalcy sounds really good at the moment...:)

On another note, I've been looking back at the stuff I have on my Facebook and I read back a note that I've posted previously. It really hit home when I've finished, so I thought I'd post it again as a reminder to myself to always strive to be better. 

Randy Pausch, 47 yrs old, is a computer Sc. lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The Last Lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…

In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "Guide To A Better Life" for his wife and children to follow. May you be blessed by his insight.

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1.    Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2.    Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control.  Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3.    Don't over do; keep your limits
4.    Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6.    Dream more while you are awake
7.    Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need..
8.    Forget issues of the past.  Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.  Don't hate others.
10.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.  Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.    Smile and laugh more
14.    You don't have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.

Community:
15.    Call your family often
16.    Each day give something good to others
17.    Forgive everyone for everything
18.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.    Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.    What other people think of you is none of your business
21.    Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22.    Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.    GOD heals everything
24.    Do the right things
25.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.    The best is yet to come
28.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.    If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy. 

Wow, it really has been ages since I've updated...*cleans dust off blog* 

Gosh, where do I begin? It has certainly been a roller coaster ride since my last post...lots of really highs as well as lows, but that's life now, isn't it? Even though there are things that made me sad, there are also many MANY moments where I'm so grateful for what I have. Really heart the saying that we take in the good with the bad. Without the bad things, we wouldn't really learn or be thankful for the great things that happen, no? 

Can't really think of what to write at the moment...guess this is what happens when we go into 'hiatus' for such a long time. But somehow, sitting here at my grandfather's place and reminiscing about the experiences that I had the past few months just makes me feel like getting off my butt and at least write something. Yes, I'm alive and well...how's that for starters? LOL! 

Work has been ok....pressuring sometimes but certainly bearable. A wise friend said to me, "Think about the money you're getting" and somehow it does help. LOL! Yeah, materialistic I know but if I can't get the job that I like, might as well stick with a good-paying job no? *wink* 

Let's see...what else? I've lost some weight...YAYY! Classes in Samba, Afro-Brazilian dance, Body Sculpt and Capoeira have paid off *grins* Still long way to go but it's really great to to know that I'm slowly getting there :) Love that I can now fit into clothes that I couldn't before...really scary to think that I've let myself get so unhealthy that I couldn't fit into the biggest sized clothes before. Am deeply thankful to my instructor, Lilica for always pushing and encouraging us to go the extra few reps (even though we're already screaming and cursing her silently in our heads while enduring the exercises!) every. Single. Time. I might be 'hating' the pain at that particular moment, but I know it's a good kind of pain :)

Ah ok...enough of the gushing and what not. Here's to more posts in the future. I will need to be more disciplined and spend at least some time to blog more. I kind of miss this actually...:)

Never have I been more accurate about my feelings as of now until I saw the blog title..Simplicity is bliss, simplicity is awesome, and how I LONG for some simplicity in my life right now! Heck, I sometimes feel like Scottie has a much better life than me..>.<"

I know, I don't post anything for ages and then all of sudden...BAM! One whining, ranting post after another...thing is, I kind of feel this is my only outlet for my rants. It's a good way to let it all out without having someone interrupting my thoughts...I can just let it all out and let it go. Some day. Ha!

I've always thought that I pick up things (relatively) fast. Learning is kind of interesting, especially when you have enough material to go on. It's something that I tell potential employers during interviews and all....only to realize that I am actually really slow and dumb; incapable of handling even the simplest kinds of system flow.

Maybe I'm just too used to the environment that I was in previously. People are very nice and helpful; they don't skimp on their knowledge sharing and there's always documentation to fall on if everybody is busy and no one is free to help you out. I guess I expected that to be the same in this new environment. Boy, did I ever get a culture shock! I think I've been here for about 2-3 weeks, and I feel like it's up over my head in learning what I need to do here. For one, people here although are quite nice don't really warm up to you...or maybe I am just freaking myself out. I always get the feeling that everybody here has violent mood swings. Then, there's the so-called 'training'....apparently I'm expected to know stuff by just playing around with the system! Great, only thing is...I don't know what the heck that it does! Sure, they do give some explanations here and there, but it's never detailed enough to help you understand...so, I try it out on the system. Playing around doesn't help because I have no idea what happened even after I pushed the buttons! And they expect me to know where the freaking files are kept/extracted, what tables and fields in the database are updated, etc etc!

Fine, I thought I'd ask for some documentation to read up on the concepts...at least that would give me some idea, no? Not only was there no proper documentation, but whatever documentation existed, they were OUTDATED. How the heck am I supposed to do any testing on the new system when I only have knowledge of the old system?! And so, I went around asking....the more I asked, the more the faces seem to change and look irritated. And when they 'explain' it's so bloody vague I got more confused....and then they say that after 'explaining so many times' I still don't know what the system does. *sigh*

Do you ever get that feeling that some things are just not that complicated, if only you had a little bit more information, or that someone could point you in the right direction? Doesn't it get friggin' frustrating when people push and shove you in different directions expecting you to feel your way out and coming through the same exit they did? I am feeling exactly that right now...and dreading each day because I have no idea what is going to be thrown at me, and if I'll be able to swim in this pool of sharks just waiting to pounce and eat me alive.

I remember talking to an ex-colleague and she said that I shouldn't worry so much about the new environment...there's the 'honeymoon period' where everybody cuts you slack and lets you learn your way through. If only she could see me now! I seriously don't know what I'm doing and if I am cut out to do this...maybe I've overestimated my abilities. Just because I'm able to handle some smaller projects, doesn't mean I can handle such a big system right? Will I hit a wall sooner or later, or will I finally get what they're trying to 'explain'? I was told by another (new) colleague that it will take me months to know what the heck is it that they're doing....but it seems like they're expecting me to know everything by the end of this month. A gross overestimation of the supervisors on my so-called 'fast learning skills', or maybe I've sold myself too strongly?? Great....I'm so dead.