Whew, I seem to be on a roll here...*grins* Now to get back on the saddle with my other blogs too and it would be super awesome! =) 

Anyways, I had been logging down every meal that I take in for the past week for my personal trainer...I guess - in a way - writing down every thing that I've eaten kind of puts my mind into a mode where I start thinking about the food choices I've made. Subconsciously, I've been eating healthier (less oily and fatty foods, though I've succumbed to a meal of a McD's GCB; more fruits and veggies). Could it be because I want to put my best foot forward (so to speak) so that it wouldn't look too bad when I show the food log to Jack? Maybe, but I find that I'm actually enjoying the foods that I've eaten so far...so much so that when I had that McD meal the other day, the fries tasted a little plasticky to me instead of the yummy fries that I loved. o.O" Today, I was actually looking at the calorie count on the back label of the soya bean drink that I was having (230 kcal per bottle of 300 ml) and I still remember thinking, "Gosh...that is about half an hour of running / walking on the treadmill!"  

Which brings me to my next thought...have I become obsessed with all this until it has become (somewhat) extreme? When I first started out with the classes back in September last year, my initial goal was just to try and get healthy and hopefully lose some weight. Throughout that process, I did notice that my mindset have changed. I make a conscious effort to try and eat less and healthier, but I've not really limited myself to only healthy foods. I still do indulge in treats (some I baked myself) and have not really put much thought into it. It was the thinking of 'Balance Over Time' for me: if I have eaten something that's not so healthy, I'll eat healthier in the next meal and push harder in the classes that I go to. And that has worked for me...the weight has been coming off; slow but I'm satisfied with the pace.

Now, it seems like I'm counting the calories not unlike the contestants in "The Biggest Loser" shows...every time I eat something, I'm thinking of whether it will be enough proteins, too much carbs, too much fats, too much sugar, blah blah blah. And then I had to stop myself and go, "Stop obsessing!!" I don't want to be that person who can't enjoy food whenever they want to just because it's too fatty...and yet, I also want to try and reach my long term goal as soon as possible. LOL! Kind of an oxymoron, I know...but that's me I guess. 

Recently, a colleague of mine mentioned that she has signed up for a slimming course with a beauty centre...she spent a huge amount of money on it, and I remember thinking that I don't really believe in those kind of things. To me, those slimming centres are the equivalent to those extreme dieting and 'treatments' that doesn't work. Believe me when I say I've tried all kinds of diets...I've been on the no-carbs diet, and my biggest 'success' for that phase was following the 3 Day Diet, of which I lost 3kgs after the diet was over. But then I gained back the weight (and then some) a few days after...why? Because I was so deprived from the foods that I liked (even for only 3 days), I find myself craving those foods even more. Of course, it didn't help that my family members were eating those very foods in front of me when I was on the diet. But then, it was myself too that I can't stop thinking "OMG...when I'm done with this diet, I will be able to eat normal food again!" and when the diet was over I went overboard. >.<" But I digress...

Anyways, she's been going for the treatments for about a week so far...and she told me she lost about 2kg already. While I'm happy for her weight loss, I'm also a little concerned that she might be going to be like me when I was on the 3 Day Diet thing. For one, her diet has been drastically slashed into not even half of what I'm eating (!!)...her beautician has been getting her to drink lemon water every morning, she is only allowed to have rice every alternate day, foods have to be as oil-less as possible, and even fruits have to be restricted to certain kinds because apparently some fruits are 'fattening'. O.O" Case in point: she felt like having durian the other day, but she only had one measly bite from a seed because according to her beautician, one seed of durian equals to one bowl of rice, hence one whole kg of weight when you partake of it. When I heard that, I remember telling her that it's all bullshit....where in the world do they get all these 'facts'??!! And the worse thing is, they're feeding these crap to the girls out there who trusted them to help them look good! 

I'm no expert in nutrition, but I do have experience with nutritionists since I follow my Mom on her appointments with them for her diabetes. That, and what I've read and studied so far being in the Science field has enlightened me a little bit on nutrition. Needless to say, I'm absolutely gobsmacked that she's been following that advice to the T, but then I've also kept telling her that when it comes to food, moderation is the key because if we're too deprived of the foods that we're so used to, we will eventually be so depressed that we can't eat those anymore. That spirals into a craving that will get worse until we finally succumb and go overboard, throwing all the efforts we have put into previously to waste...guess I need to follow my own advice too. LOL!

Writing all these down brings me to this realization - while we all have our own methods in trying to look good and becoming healthy, it is also important (for me at least) to stop every now and then, sit back and evaluate whether what we're doing puts us on the right track or are we leading ourselves down a winding and confusing road. As that song lyric goes,"...but if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to, be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty" 

I wish my colleague all the best in her course...perhaps she'll be even slimmer than me in no time, but for me exercise and a healthier choice of foods have been the things that work so far. I'm reaping the rewards right now, but I have a long way to go still...here's to hoping that I stay on this course and recognize the signs that I'm starting to obsess so that I won't spiral down into that phase! *crosses fingers*

So, it was my third session with my personal trainer, Jack...I had arrived earlier and did about 30 mins of cardio on the treadmill (This time around, I got 'smart' and brought my earphones along...heh! With the earphones plugged in, I find myself being able to distract myself from looking too frequently at the timer while I ran / walked, bringing my total calories burned to almost 250 and I walked / ran for about 4+ km! YAYY!). Feeling gung ho, I went eagerly to the session thinking that maybe we'd do more of the machines but Jack said he wants to do some kickboxing. Woohoo! Caught me by surprise, but it's a good one =) Been curious as to how they train kickboxing and since Jack has been training Muay Thai for more than 10 years(!!!) I was all set!

He first wrapped my hands with boxing handwraps...I felt like those competition fighters where I had an assistant doing it for me. LOLL! Quite interesting too to see how it's done...Jack mentioned that there are so many different ways for wrapping the hands, i.e for competitions they don't use such long wraps, etc. Then, he proceeded to help me with the gloves and I'm ready to kick butt. LOL! 

I was then taught the basic stance (whenever we're not punching or kicking, the stance is important to protect your face from being hit), and then it was the basic punches (jab, cross, hook, upper cut) and basic kicks (front push, front kick). It felt a little awkward at first trying out the punches, as the gloves felt bulky and I'm not used to punching coz capoeira doesn't do much punching. LOL! But after a few tries and encouragement from Jack, I managed to do it =) Don't think I got all the postures right, but Jack said he will work on them with me more the next time.

From then on, we did  some basic combos with the punches and kicks and I have to admit, it was super fun and a stress reliever too. Basically, I don't really get to think too much as I was concentrating on getting the combos & postures right, hitting the focus mat / sandbag at the right areas, and trying to do it with some speed. Then when I got those out of the way, it was fun to pretend that I'm punching those blues away! I probably looked like an idiot trying to punch my trainer, but bleh...I've learnt that being shy in training sessions makes you lose out on actually learning the techniques so I just went for it. And boy, was it satisfying when the session was over! I think I was a little high on the endorphin released after the workout (LOL!) that I went back on the treadmill to do another 15 mins of cardio...played around with the machine's functions and found one that is set for you to do walking or running in different settings! This one had a gradient thingy, which basically means the machine slopes up according to how many percentage that you set it and simulates walking up a hill I guess. Quite a cool thing too...but I didn't want to stress it too much, so I went on a beginner's setting. Managed to burn another 100 calories and a distance of about 1.1 km. =) 

After that, I finally felt pooped...LOL! Went to take a hot shower and it was such a nice feeling, but I only felt the full effects of the workout when I reached home...thank goodness! My legs felt wobbly but I find that I like it...heh! My sis always tells me that I enjoy 'torture'..LOL! Maybe I am...but only for workouts, nothing else. LOL! Anyways, that was a thoroughly enjoyable session...I might just ask Jack if we could do that more often. It's a great variety to just doing machines or group classes; plus, I get to kick butt (in a way) *grins*

'Twas the first time that I went to the gym without any sessions planned with my personal trainer. Felt a bit lost as I went in there without any purpose (so to speak). I thought of checking out some group classes, so I headed up to the studio area to check the schedules...I had a schedule given to me when I signed up, so I thought I'd join an RPM class (it said the class was supposed to start at 7.30pm), but to my dismay they changed the schedule and the earliest RPM class was at 8.30pm. o.O" Of course I didn't want to wait that long, so I went to the other studios....sad to see that they were already in session. Bleh.

Nevermind, I figured...there's always the machines to do cardio and I remembered some of the machines that Jack showed me during our first session. So, all gung ho I headed to a treadmill and started a 30-min walk / running session. Started out with a 5.5 km/h walk for a few minutes and then alternating that with a 10.0 km/h run. Gosh, I thought that I would have better stamina since I've been doing capoeira and all, but to keep a pace like that for 30 mins almost killed me. I first started out doing maybe a minute or two of the walk speed followed by about 2 mins of running....towards the end I think I ended up on the walking speed for maybe 3-4 mins and running only 2 mins. &gt;.&lt;" When the 30 mins was up, it felt great but I wish I could have done more....practice I guess. The total calories I burned (according to the machine) was a measly 200 calories (EEP!), but I walked / ran a distance of about 3.5km...yayy! 

Next, I headed to do a bit of rowing on the machines....that was fun too. Did about 10 mins of it, and my arms felt slightly sore after (a good sign). I wanted to continue with some hamstring exercises but the floor was getting quite full and there weren't that many of those machines to go around. The other machines I didn't know how to use yet, so bleh...thought of calling it a day. 40 mins of cardio seems ok for a first time. I went to see the class schedule again to see if I could join a class tomorrow or something. To my delight, they have a class starting in 10 mins! "Bodybalance", it read....cool. I stepped in and saw the instructor setting up.

She asked me to grab two yoga mats and set it as per how she did it on the stage, and we were to do the class without our shoes. I thought, nice! I remember hearing that this class is about stretching and it incorporates Tai Chi, Yoga and Pilates...would be nice to get some stretching done on this tired body of mine. As a few more ladies entered the class (some more elderly), I thought it would be a nice and relaxing class since even the 'older ladies' can do it....how wrong was I!

The first 10-15 mins were exercises on warming up and I was having difficulty in following...slow as they may be, those yoga poses are not easy to replicate (at least for me!). LOL! But I learnt to sort of let go and just try my best to follow and wow, it was a great workout =) Those poses, although difficult, really do stretch your limbs and your spine. At some points it got a bit too intense for me as my muscles couldn't take it any more...LOLL! I just laid down for a few seconds and waited for the next move. And I think I sweated more than I did during cardio on the treadmill....amazing! As we moved to the end of the class, we laid on the mats and quieted ourselves as soothing meditation and relaxation music filled the room....it was such a relief and I can totally feel relaxed and refreshed as we let ourselves go with the music. Super super cool =) 

All in all, a totally nice workout day...been feeling quite weird and unwell the past week, so to release all that energy out is really refreshing. I'm hankering to go and join the other classes. They all seem fun =) Sure, it probably wouldn't be as fun as my old classes (I think I'm missing them now) but it's something different and I'm feeling back the good pain...so for now, that will suffice. Crossing my fingers that this motivation will stick at least for a while...I need this =)