I've often wondered why life is so unfair...I mean, who doesn't right? Why is it that I never get what my sisters get, why is it that everyone else seems so better off compared to me, why why why....so many questions, until friends and family tell me: C'est La Vie (That's Life). Be thankful with what you have and just move on. Good things will come your way soon; and if all else fails, think about so many other people who don't have what I have right now...

I guess I'm at that place again where I don't know who I am or what am I here for, etc etc. Even after thinking about it long enough (does thinking until your head hurts count as long enough?), I STILL have no idea what I'm good at...work-wise or even just in life. "Good" to me isn't just about knowing how to do certain things...it's about having that passion, that sparkle that comes to the person's eyes when he/she talks about it, or the way a person just lights up when the subject creeps up. I somehow fail to find that 'thing'...and it's kind of disappointing in a way. I really admire the people who just KNOWS what they want in their lives; that they're meant to be that type of person and just bulldozing ahead with their goals. I don't know...perhaps I've been dozing too much or something. I keep feeling that there's something not quite right with me, but I can't exactly pin point what. Maybe it's a myriad of things...or maybe I'm just not confident with who I am right now. C'est La Vie, no? We make do with what we have? I've always thought I'd do something different with my life...what exactly, I don't know! But there's always this naggy gut feeling that it should be something else...*sigh* 

I know I have to quit whining and buck up...and yet everytime I psyche myself up to do it, always at the last minute, I chicken out. >.<" Maybe I need to see a therapist or something...right now, I just know it feels shitty to be me. And yet, whenever I go home, to see Scottie's happy face and ecstatic 'screaming' that I'm home is just awesome...LOL! To know that someone (even if it's just a dog) is just happy that you're around...wow. 

Oh well, I need to stop crying....otherwise people will think I'm crazy. LOL! I shall post more happy memories from now on...which shall be about cooking. LOLL! Yes, just like Kung Fu Panda, I eat when I'm upset or when I'm happy. Food's always a comfort..even though I'm ballooning up like crazy. >.<" Following recipes always is fun to me...the best thing ever would be when what I make actually turns out to be like it should be! (Or at least, ALMOST where it should be is good enough!) This was what I did the past few days when I was self-quarantined after Rachel was confirmed with H1N1 (hey, people have to eat also...even when they're sick! *wink*):