Bleh.. after ranting out, it's kind of hard to go back and think of the good stuff, no? That saying is kind of true..."People will always remember that one bad thing that you did, even though you had done 10 good things prior to that one mistake." 

I'm adamant though to blog about some good things that happened (somewhat) and after that incident...gives me something else to think about other than dwelling on the bad stuff =) My Bali trip was super AMAZING! I will need to organize the photos and blog about it ASAP, coz it was an unforgettable experience. I'm still missing that simple, idyll, yet fascinating island....will definitely want to go back again =) Didn't manage to go to the beach much this time around, but the tours around Bali were magnificent! Will blog more about that in my other blog, so stay tuned *wink*

Well, after the incident I was a bit disheartened and needed a break from the madness and all...but I had sort of lost a place where I could continue on my 'quest' to get back in shape. Luckily, a friend mentioned that she had recently joined a gym and was looking for a gym partner to go together. I jumped at it naturally, and so a few days ago I went with her to check out the gym.

We first met with her personal trainer, Jack. He was quite nice and did the physical assessment thing for me (which is customary for everybody who comes in to the gym for the first time). Didn't really know what to think as I've never done this before. He asked me to go on a machine that looked like a weighing scale with some weird handles and buttons. Got me to step on to it while holding on to the sensors and a few minutes later, voila! A report is printed out showing how healthy I was. They had things like "Body Fat Percentage", "Body Mass Index", and "Basal Metabolic Rate" written on it. I'm probably the worst skeptic ever, but I don't see how a machine can calculate the total body fat percentage of a person just by standing on to the scale and holding on to a couple of sensors! It's a bit hodge-podge to me, but meh...thought I'd give it a listen.

According to the report, my body fat percentage is a whopping 35%, which in their categorization, puts me in their 'Obese' section....o.O" The acceptable percentage is actually around 18-20% if I remember it correctly. Jack says that I would need to lose about 14kg of fat (OMG!) but it's not just about losing weight, but more on building and toning up the muscles and raising my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) - apparently that's the measurement of how much my body will burn calories when I'm doing minimal activity - to burn off more fat. Sounds fair, and I'm interested on how he plans to do it for someone like me. 

On the other hand though, my Body Mass Index (BMI) is in the "Normal" category, which gave me a pleasant surprise. I haven't been weighing myself lately, and it was sweet to learn that I've lost about 10kg so far. YAYY! For this, I do have to thank L for her help. Although she hasn't been treating me as a friend, she has and will always be a great trainer. What an awesome feeling....now to continue to lose more of the fat, especially around the abs, arms and thighs! LOL!

So, long story short (I do tend to be babbling a lot these days!), I've signed up for a gym membership and some personal training sessions with Jack...yayy! So far, I've done two sessions with Jack and it was great. I didn't really feel much in the first session, probably coz he was assessing how much I could do and trying to go slow, but I mentioned to him that I could do more and I'm used to (somewhat) harder kind of training. And in the second session, he did push me harder with the exercises...which was great. The 'good' pain is back...kinda miss it coz I had been plateau-ing previously. Am looking forward to my next sessions and also joining the group classes to get more variety out of the workouts...=) 

So there you have it....some of the happier things that have happened recently. I'm hoping and crossing my fingers that more happy things will come my way than sad ones. To quote a character from the series "Hellcats", "Positive outcomes only!!" *grins*

Yes, it's true. I used to believe in the motto that we should "Do unto others the way we would want others to do unto us"....and boy, did I ever get screwed over! It is not just one time that my 'nice-ness' gets stomped upon. I used to brush it off and say to myself that things will be better...I'll be treated more nicely next time. But then it has gotten to the point that I myself am feeling that I'm being taken advantage of BECAUSE I'm so nice...*sigh* 

Case in point: I have two friends whom I've considered my very good friends. Let's call them L & M. Although I've not known them for very long, but they were a big part of my life, especially when I was trying to get back in shape. They really helped in motivating me and making sure that I was on the right track. I was never really part of their 'circle', but I find that I enjoyed myself every time I get together with them so I end up trying very hard to fit into their circle...it's kind of like the little lost duckling who tries to join in with another group of ducklings that he found on his way. To cut the long story short, I was ecstatic when I was finally included into that 'circle'...or so I thought I was.

Things were hitting off really well, until they figured they wanted to start a business together. I never had any interest in the nature of the business that they were venturing into (and not having the money anyways), but I helped out in what ways I can...getting contacts for contractors, helping them out at their launch party, and of course I followed them as a client too. It was still cool for a while but then I started noticing that our friendship wasn't really what I thought it was...at first it was only the little things, and I let them go. But it all culminated down until that day.

I was asked to do 2 performances with them...I wasn't very good but I figured, okay since they asked I might as well try. So we practiced for it, but I was told to 'concentrate' on only one performance when I tried to ask L about some moves for the other performance. And that was it....I was just kicked out of a performance that I was asked to do. Strike one. I figured, it's okay...I was very stiff and not able to perform like they did, so I shall do just one performance. And we practiced more....until I went to Bali for a week (and probably missed like 2 practices). I came back all hyped up to practice, only to find that they had changed the performance to fit only 2 people. No prizes for guessing who were the 2 people that were going to perform. That day I spent the whole time doing basic movements while watching them practice for the performance. Never mind the fact that they never told me about the change, but they KICKED ME OUT of the group without informing me in person. I know I'll never be as good as they are, but I would expect the courtesy of being told in person that I am not in the group anymore. I mean, come on...they asked me to do it in the first place! And yet, all they did was shove me aside and used the time slot that I paid for as a client to do their routine! Strike two. 

The best is yet to come....since I'm not 'performing' anymore, I was asked to 'help out' at the performances. One of it was at an event...long story short, I found out there was a fee to go to the event, and I kept asking M whether I need to pay to go there to help out as I was super broke at the time. No answer until the day before saying that they don't need my 'help' anymore and just asked me to help pick another instructor (let's call him J) up to a party that they will also be performing at. Let's bear in mind here that this particular party was the end of a 2-day event thingy that they all attended (& I didn't). I had to not only drive about 20 mins to J's place to pick him up, but also drive him down town to the club where the party is at...and I'm not familiar with the roads in the city. Oh well, figured I'd use handy Google Maps on my phone...

No such luck. We got lost, and ended up being late for the party (up to the point where L & M already finished their performance when we arrived). Needless to say, J was pissed while we were on the way and he stormed out of the car, out of the parking lot and into the club...where he proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the party. And me? I had to pay to get INTO the party, and stood there for a great 2 hours while everyone else had fun...chit chatting and dancing. Everyone else already knew each other from the 2-day event thingy, while I feel like a gate crasher. When the party was over, M asked me whether I'd like to join her for dinner...I agreed, and we went over to L's side to ask her. She mentioned that she wouldn't join us but talked to M to ask her to bring back the costumes as she brought it to the club previously. When M mentioned that their costumes are too heavy, L looked at me and proceeded to tell M, "you can use her to help you bring the costumes to your car..." Strike three.

The finale of the night was when I got a call from M telling me that she will be joining another group of friends for dinner and if I were to join them, I shouldn't wait for her at the meet up place that we agreed upon previously (I was already there at this point). I told her I was already there....and then she said something along the lines of "Oh...then how?" I told her then, it's okay...you guys go ahead, I'll just head home. And head home I did.

Call me overly sensitive or I read too much into things, but I thought friends wouldn't do that to each other. I guess I wasn't too much of a friend in their eyes. The thing that jolted me to my senses was when my sis told me (after I relayed this incident to her) that it is not all their fault....it was partly my fault too. I had been too nice to tell them off and allowed them to walk and trample all over me....and I realized, that is very true. Speaking with another mutual friend, she said, "yup, that sounds like them but you know...you're the nice one. Whatever shit people throw at you, you just take it in." Wow, that is a big wake up call for me, and I've started to realize that yes, I am too nice and soft-hearted. 

It has gotten to the point where I'm noticing that even things like making decisions for lunch with my colleagues get overwritten so quickly because I tolerate and just 'go with the flow' (Colleague A: Where do you want to have lunch later? Auds: Let's go to place A. Colleague A: Nah, it's not something that I want to eat...let's go to place B. Auds: *is a little pissed...why ask me when you want to go there in the first place??* Oh, okay) Heck, at some points of conversation, I remember being mocked ever so sweetly by my colleague that I don't have a backbone because I'm just following whatever the majority calls for, or I don't have the guts to stand up for myself...

So now, I have a new motto..."Do whatever you can to help others, but never expect ANYBODY to ever do the same thing for you". I don't know if I'll ever kick the habit of being too nice to people, or if I'll be able to stand up for myself anytime soon...but I know this, it's time that I take care of myself first and foremost because nobody else gives a hoot. Sounds jaded I know, but then...that's life right?

I'm having a little bit of free time at the moment so I'm taking this opportunity to blog as much as I can before I lose my 'momentum'...*grins* It's awesome to start writing and put my thoughts onto 'paper' again!

Okay, I mentioned before that I probably will not change my iPhone anytime soon....well, circumstances arose (which is a very, VERY long and complicated story) and I find myself selling off my iPhone and topping up a little bit more to get myself the iPhone 4. Whee!! *grins*

I do believe that the iPhone 4 is a step up from the previous generation though...the HD screen itself is AMAZING! Love that everything looks sharper and details are infinitely clearer, especially when browsing through photos and watching videos =) Before I run away with some more gushes, I'm posting (again) photos of my phone as a reminder (I think this should be a tradition...LOL!)

Simple lily background...<3 *grins*

This is what the back of my phone looks like now...<3 <3 I splurged and bought a pretty bling iPhone case!

Strawberry Cream Cheese Tart...I heart the drizzled chocolate, even though my drizzling needs work!

Okay, this one I edited but the photos used here are from the iPhone! This tart is a fresh fruit tart with vanilla pastry cream...biggest success so far!! The colors are so pretty :)

Whew, it has been a hectic few weeks...work, events, etc. Got loads to share but I'll start with the earliest ones I remember :)

The past month I had attended two weddings, and they were both as different as night and day. Don't get me wrong...both of them were beautiful ceremonies, but I can't help noticing the differences between them; one is a somewhat traditional Chinese wedding dinner, and the other a beautiful Catholic church wedding ceremony & luncheon. Wish I had photos to show, but I didn't bring my camera for both occasions...not really a bad thing I guess, coz I get to enjoy the events to the fullest instead of being busy just taking photos =)

The first wedding I attended was my colleague's...held in a Chinese restaurant, it was a quite a big affair with (I think) about 30 tables or more. The usual 8-course meal is served with everybody chatting happily all around. Then came the speeches from the friends of the bride and groom, parents and one gets to witness how everyone is so happy for the couple. The 'toast' to the couple consists of several long "Yum Seng" cheers and much laughter as some tables try to outdo each other. And as the couple goes around the room to toast each table, I was sitting there watching the video footage of their tea ceremony...so cute to watch the groom and his posse being 'teased' (that's a gross understatement! LOL!) by the bride's 'ji muis' before being allowed to see the bride; the tea ceremony to the respective relatives and all. I've been to quite a few weddings like this myself, but watching the video that day it somehow feels more fun. LOL! Dunno...maybe it's the atmosphere. Everyone is so merry and cheerful, it rubs off on you I guess =) 

The other wedding I attended was an ex-colleague and good friend of mine. Me, being the ever blur person got lost on the way to the church! But arrive I did, and was blown away by the splendor of the church building. I reached JUST in time to see her walking to the entrance of the church and subsequently down the aisle...she was GORGEOUS! I still remember reveling at the beautiful stained glass windows, ("stained glass" sounds so crude for something so pretty though) and the structure of the building as I walk in to take my seat in the crowd. Wow! I've never been inside a Catholic church in person, so to see everything up close is amazing. As the ceremony proceeds, it is quite enlightening to see how a wedding ceremony is conducted in the Catholic faith. For one, I am very surprised that everything is rather solemn and seems 'rigid' (everything is written out in the program booklet...down to the wedding vows and what the congregation should say in the ceremony) but in the midst of the rigidity, there is something majestic about it. Somehow, you feel tranquil and at peace, which I really needed at the time. Sitting there, I'm reminded of the stories a friend told me about the Catholic faith and how it sort of 'came to life' for me when I witness the communion ceremony...lovely =) 

No, I have no plans of getting married if that is what's implied here...LOL! But it's always great to be able to be part of that special day for the happy couple. Even with 2 totally different cultures and religion, the theme is still the same...happiness and joy! Will I ever get married? (I seem to get asked this a lot these days...signs of getting old! >.<") I honestly can't give an answer to that. To quote a line from 'Pride and Prejudice', "I'm 27, with no prospects and no connections..." would anyone want me? Do I wait for my "Mr. Right" or just go with whoever who seems to show any interest? That is for me to find out I guess. LOL!