Whew, I seem to be on a roll here...*grins* Now to get back on the saddle with my other blogs too and it would be super awesome! =) 

Anyways, I had been logging down every meal that I take in for the past week for my personal trainer...I guess - in a way - writing down every thing that I've eaten kind of puts my mind into a mode where I start thinking about the food choices I've made. Subconsciously, I've been eating healthier (less oily and fatty foods, though I've succumbed to a meal of a McD's GCB; more fruits and veggies). Could it be because I want to put my best foot forward (so to speak) so that it wouldn't look too bad when I show the food log to Jack? Maybe, but I find that I'm actually enjoying the foods that I've eaten so far...so much so that when I had that McD meal the other day, the fries tasted a little plasticky to me instead of the yummy fries that I loved. o.O" Today, I was actually looking at the calorie count on the back label of the soya bean drink that I was having (230 kcal per bottle of 300 ml) and I still remember thinking, "Gosh...that is about half an hour of running / walking on the treadmill!"  

Which brings me to my next thought...have I become obsessed with all this until it has become (somewhat) extreme? When I first started out with the classes back in September last year, my initial goal was just to try and get healthy and hopefully lose some weight. Throughout that process, I did notice that my mindset have changed. I make a conscious effort to try and eat less and healthier, but I've not really limited myself to only healthy foods. I still do indulge in treats (some I baked myself) and have not really put much thought into it. It was the thinking of 'Balance Over Time' for me: if I have eaten something that's not so healthy, I'll eat healthier in the next meal and push harder in the classes that I go to. And that has worked for me...the weight has been coming off; slow but I'm satisfied with the pace.

Now, it seems like I'm counting the calories not unlike the contestants in "The Biggest Loser" shows...every time I eat something, I'm thinking of whether it will be enough proteins, too much carbs, too much fats, too much sugar, blah blah blah. And then I had to stop myself and go, "Stop obsessing!!" I don't want to be that person who can't enjoy food whenever they want to just because it's too fatty...and yet, I also want to try and reach my long term goal as soon as possible. LOL! Kind of an oxymoron, I know...but that's me I guess. 

Recently, a colleague of mine mentioned that she has signed up for a slimming course with a beauty centre...she spent a huge amount of money on it, and I remember thinking that I don't really believe in those kind of things. To me, those slimming centres are the equivalent to those extreme dieting and 'treatments' that doesn't work. Believe me when I say I've tried all kinds of diets...I've been on the no-carbs diet, and my biggest 'success' for that phase was following the 3 Day Diet, of which I lost 3kgs after the diet was over. But then I gained back the weight (and then some) a few days after...why? Because I was so deprived from the foods that I liked (even for only 3 days), I find myself craving those foods even more. Of course, it didn't help that my family members were eating those very foods in front of me when I was on the diet. But then, it was myself too that I can't stop thinking "OMG...when I'm done with this diet, I will be able to eat normal food again!" and when the diet was over I went overboard. >.<" But I digress...

Anyways, she's been going for the treatments for about a week so far...and she told me she lost about 2kg already. While I'm happy for her weight loss, I'm also a little concerned that she might be going to be like me when I was on the 3 Day Diet thing. For one, her diet has been drastically slashed into not even half of what I'm eating (!!)...her beautician has been getting her to drink lemon water every morning, she is only allowed to have rice every alternate day, foods have to be as oil-less as possible, and even fruits have to be restricted to certain kinds because apparently some fruits are 'fattening'. O.O" Case in point: she felt like having durian the other day, but she only had one measly bite from a seed because according to her beautician, one seed of durian equals to one bowl of rice, hence one whole kg of weight when you partake of it. When I heard that, I remember telling her that it's all bullshit....where in the world do they get all these 'facts'??!! And the worse thing is, they're feeding these crap to the girls out there who trusted them to help them look good! 

I'm no expert in nutrition, but I do have experience with nutritionists since I follow my Mom on her appointments with them for her diabetes. That, and what I've read and studied so far being in the Science field has enlightened me a little bit on nutrition. Needless to say, I'm absolutely gobsmacked that she's been following that advice to the T, but then I've also kept telling her that when it comes to food, moderation is the key because if we're too deprived of the foods that we're so used to, we will eventually be so depressed that we can't eat those anymore. That spirals into a craving that will get worse until we finally succumb and go overboard, throwing all the efforts we have put into previously to waste...guess I need to follow my own advice too. LOL!

Writing all these down brings me to this realization - while we all have our own methods in trying to look good and becoming healthy, it is also important (for me at least) to stop every now and then, sit back and evaluate whether what we're doing puts us on the right track or are we leading ourselves down a winding and confusing road. As that song lyric goes,"...but if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to, be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty" 

I wish my colleague all the best in her course...perhaps she'll be even slimmer than me in no time, but for me exercise and a healthier choice of foods have been the things that work so far. I'm reaping the rewards right now, but I have a long way to go still...here's to hoping that I stay on this course and recognize the signs that I'm starting to obsess so that I won't spiral down into that phase! *crosses fingers*