First of all, thank you very much for seeing me on Friday in the 'sharing' session between your organization and myself. After that session, I have given it much thought and contemplation on what was being shared, and in line with the concept of 'family' and being open to ideas and opinions, allow me to share a few that I haven't been able to share honestly during my time with you.

Yes, it's very true that I don't go about with makeup on my face. As you have already noticed, it is not the most suitable kind to be putting on makeup. I have done what I can, going to a dermatologist. It has actually been much better than it used to be. The thing is though, money has been a problem, especially after my dermatologist passed away. Going to beauty salons to get facials hasn't been helping either. I had even been to Ultimate Impressions (now called bluunis, as I'm sure you're already familiar with) which promised me that my face would clear up after 10 sessions. After my fifth, my face had become so bad I had lost faith in not only their products but their services as well. Needless to say I never went back, and there goes RM1k++ down the drain. Looking back at that experience got me thinking...is branding all that? Just a lot of nice layers so that consumers would go get their products and service? Perhaps you might see it differently, but to me as a consumer, it is so wrong to go all out and market products that claim they are great, but in real life, it is not that way at all. 

Back to the face thing. Is it so true that without makeup a lady cannot be presentable? I do not claim that I am very pretty or whatsoever, but I do know friends who go about without makeup and they still look very pleasant. I would like to try make up on (I do like how I looked in that photo), but it is SO hard for me to put make up on and NOT break out right after. That time I took the photo, I looked okay for a while, but the week after, I cannot be seen at all. I do know some products that will help not to break out, but these non-comedogenic products are hard to come by (read: expensive) and I doubt that I can afford that, should I be staying in Penang with a salary less than RM2k.

Call me calculative or what may, but I find it so very difficult to be able to make ends meet with a salary that's less than RM2k and having to rent my own place, probably paying for a car, and other expenses. It might be sufficient maybe 5 - 10 years ago, but with the current situation, it seems impossible. To break it down and in your words, 'being thrifty enough', a room: RM400 (minus bills), car: RM300-500, food: RM600. That is already RM1300 - RM1500. Way more than the RM1250 that one can apparently survive in Penang. And that doesn't include the other expenses I have to bear for let's say, another dermatologist (consultation fee: RM70 every time, medication: RM100 - 300 depending on what was prescribed), make up (easily costing from RM200 - RM500 for basic utensils and what not) and not to mention clothes (you might have noticed that I am not of the petite size that the average Malaysian girl has. As such, my clothes are always hard to find, and I almost always have to purchase clothes that are imported. These range from RM50 - RM100 for each piece). All in the name of looking 'good and presentable'. Oh yes, let's not forget the contact lenses that I have to purchase (A box of contact lenses that last a month costs about RM50-60) and at the same time sacrificing my already deteriorating eyesight. Even though it is quite 'mild' now, but with prolonged use of contacts every day for up to 12 hours (which I am presuming to work) the eyes will definitely be in very bad shape. Ask any ophthalmologist or optician, and they will tell you the same thing.

And forgive me if I am wrong, but with all the sayings about being a family and all that, doesn't being in a family mean that we would accept each other as we are? Would you say that YOUR family will only accept pretty girls and handsome guys? In that case, I guess I wouldn't be suitable to be part of the family. Yes, my family would always get me to try and be 'better', but in the end, should I choose not to, they would still accept me as I am because I AM FAMILY. If this 'family' thing is really as it claimed itself to be in your organization, I'm so sorry but I think it's very discriminatory.

At this point of time, you might be saying that these are just excuses for myself to make me feel better. It might be to you, but that IS the reality that I am living with now. I am imperfect, and I doubt that I could be very well be on the way of 'climbing up' with having to not just be on top of my game work-wise, but also having to compete in the looks department. And yet, I have also things that I like and love which don't necessarily need me to be THAT pretty person, for which I am very thankful for. Having said that, I thank you once again for the 'sharing' session. Although I am - as was being implied - 'unsuitable' for the position, it had taught me a little bit more about the branding 'world' and how I won't be able to fit in. I shall therefore 'not waste both your time and mine' with the process any longer. Thank you and hope you have a good day.

Sincerely, Audrey