I'm still pinching myself that I'm in Penang right now. It has been such a whirlwind experience; taking a bus (and almost missing it) to Penang and reaching in record time (according to my friend who went with me), going for a job interview that has started to freak me out a little, and having such a gastronomical adventure with all the great food in Penang!

I don't really know what prompted me to go for this job thing. At first, it was just about trying to get a job that is in line of my writing interest, but now looking back at this interview that i was just at, I'm starting to freak out. Perhaps it's about their concept of 'branding' as they put it. The way they go on and on about building dreams and passion is great, but then they also go about talking on how they are all a 'family' and that they do not have office politics. Ever. Guaranteed some more! Try as I may, I seriously can't grasp the idea that there is an actual company that can guarantee no office politics...either they are really THAT good, or they are so hoodwinked into their 'branding' thing that they don't see it happening. Yes, I am that cynical.

Maybe I'm being bitter or something. There was a time they talked about personal grooming and they asked me questions that really took me off guard. They showed me the photo that I sent them a while back of myself (which was taken after my photoshoot for graduation. I had nice make up and hair done by an actual make up artist), and then went "What happened to you? Why did you show up like what you are now? I find it quite unacceptable that you have come to the interview with NO MAKE UP on. Personal grooming is very important, [insert long speech about grooming and looking the part]. Do you go for facials? I think perhaps before you put on make up and stuff like that, you should go to beauty salons and let them analyse your skin so you can get your skin cleared up first. Do you wear contacts? *After I told them about my degree of short-sightedness* Oh, it's very mild only!"

Okay, I have no qualms about you telling me that I don't take pride in how I look, even though how nice you may have put it and stuff like that. Truth is, I find it such a lost cause, especially my face. Talking about that is another long story, but suffice to say that I've not only spent a tremendous amount of money on it, but it's not doing much at the moment. I would like to try make up on (I do like how I looked in that photo), but it is SO hard for me to put make up on and NOT break out right after. That time I took the photo, I looked okay for a while, but the week after, I cannot be seen at all. And it's not that I don't want to wear contacts, but it IS actually not good to wear it on a long term basis. Facing the PC everyday for almost 8 hours everyday will not do the eyes good. I do wear contacts when it comes to special occasions, but contact lenses cost money too, you know? Would you be implying that I have to sacrifice my eyes to make sure that I look good? And what of that 'family' concept? Isn't the core thing about family is that we accept each other for who we are, ugly warts, fat bits and all? Would you say that YOUR family will only accept pretty girls and handsome guys? And I still don't get that girls have to make up and all that. Call me naive or what, but why is it that only GIRLS have to do it? I don't see guys putting make up on (Okay, maybe some really vain ones do, but I doubt that the majority of guys do it just yet), and yet they seem to do alright. Wouldn't one just need to look presentable? Wouldn't having make up on make you feel like a fraud; a mask that you have to put on daily, to hide your flaws and project a false image of yourself? I don't know. I guess it's my own thing. Apparently, it's not just about what you can do; how you look is equally (if not more) important. Have we become that shallow, or it's just me?

Looking at their take on how much I'm to expect for my 'non-experience', I wonder if I could survive (they are asking me to expect not even my current salary. Instead, maybe even lower than my starting pay when I first worked in my current company). Moving to Penang, getting a room and having to most probably get a car, what would that leave me for savings or even giving my parents 'spending money'? According to them, if I'm 'thrifty enough, and willing to work hard, you would be rewarded when performance is great'. Wow, that just puts a fire into your spirit.

I still can't phantom how I'm going to deal with this. I guess I'm making up more excuses for myself for not 'going the distance and taking action'. Suddenly I don't feel like doing the assignment that they have given me. Am I such a loser that I would just give up like that? Maybe I am. Or maybe I should take it as a challenge to just do it and see how far I can go;  and if (that's a big IF) on the off-chance that they would offer me the job, throwing it back at their face saying that I don't need them. Yeah, that sounds like a plan...